Wednesday

mrsconn23 · September 2021

I think I need a do-over on this day already.

I've been in a state of annoyance since I woke up. I got my Friday pay statement it was WRONG af. So I've been in phone tree hell. It's going to be fixed, but I've got a tension headache now.

They installed new antivirus on my work computer and it's now running so slowly. Also, our employee service center site is a hot mess for trying to find information and the slowness didn't help.

At least we had a good time with our friends last night. DH did get the day off for his dad's surgery, so that's good news.

SSDD otherwise.

MissKittyDanger · September 2021

@mrsconn23 oh shit $:\$ I hate that! Is it an easy fix {minus phone tree hell}?
Sounds like hot mess express overall

banana468 · September 2021

It is starting to feel like fall and for the first time I want longer sleeves on and am considering HOT coffee. I love my cold brew carafe but I need more heat!

We had a good talk last night with Chiquita. She's learning more about her friend's preferred pronouns and has a friend that has changed preferred pronouns to they / him. After a lot of dialogue and explaining that she can be a great friend and choosing a preferred set of pronouns different from the gender you were assigned at birth is a decision made with a lot of thought and at her age, we want her to keep asking questions. She acted confused, thought she was not like "other girls" and was wondering if her pronouns should change. After a LOT of searching she blurted out that she's just feeling really anxious that she's young for her grade and puberty is taking its sweet time making an appearance. What did she want? Bras. The "other girls" are wearing them and even though there isn't a need at all she'd feel like she'd fit in if she had them. OK kiddo you got it. We sat on my phone and picked out a few and Amazon will have them to the house in a few days.

Oh the trials of adolescence and why this is such an un-fun time to navigate!

Casadena · September 2021

Ugh those days are the wrorst mrsconn - I hope it turns around for you.

H is driving me nuts and i feel bad about it. I mean, i feel how i feel, but i know that the annoyance i'm feeling is a little unfair.

I've decided i'm casually job searching. Nothing really wrong at my current job and lots of pros, but i'm feeling really stagnant and, frankly, bored. I need something more exciting and interesting if i'm going to feel ok being away from baby N all day everyday. I've just been feeling so guilty about leaving him and then sitting at work being bored and not having a ton to do (my work is very cyclical, it's a down time right now). Also feeling a little discouraged because the few interviews i've had in the last year have all just ghosted after feeling like the conversations went pretty well.

I'm also suuuper tired right now - N usually sleeps through the night (don't come for me, i know how lucky we are!) and he was up 3 times last night. Drinking all the coffee on my first real WFH day and planning to go for a long walk at lunch. I'm really liking my new WFH schedule. I'm in office M/T/Th and home W/F. It's pretty awesome that by the time Wednesday rolls around I feel like the week is pretty much over bc I only have one more in office day.

MissKittyDanger · September 2021

I really don't know who I've mentioned this too, but have I said M is having issues with his job?
If I have - it's gotten worse. If not, it's basically SSDD with a headache of a coworker who is just an all round ass.

Anyways, straw broke camel's back last week so M spoke to his recruiter and he already has an interview today.
Funny enough it's with the place that he was interviewing with at same time as his current place. They were slow on the offer, so M went with current job.

M is going to tell current place he's giving 2 weeks, but new place he'll say 3 weeks so he has a week to just chill before new job.
I did tell him that he'll have some things to do that he's had to finish up for awhile that he just stopped doing.
TBH I think M has fallen into a mild depression because of job issues. He's more mentally stable that it hasn't gotten worse, but I haven't been pushing him to finish stuff. I do remind him and a couple small things have been done luckily {ie; toilet seat change}
I did tell him that while he's off, I won't push for a huge amount of things but some small items I want him to do {finish zoo, put together at least ONE side table and potentially look at screen door attachment}

In other news, BK is having accidents at school. They know she's not prone to accidents so they feel it's because new environment and we're thinking it's FOMO mixed with different toilet {toilet vs potty}
So I've asked if they can ask her about potty use more and we're sending more clothes in case BUT we're also going to try and have her sit on the toilet more to see if that will help.
We're also mentioning to BK to try and use the toilet more.
The director there is super nice and she said it's minor and BK is enjoying school so much.

short+sassy · September 2021

@mrsconn23, I hope your day gets better! I'm glad your DH's new employer were okay with him taking the day off for his dad's surgery.

I have been in such a funk the last two days, but feel better today. I've been productive and feeling more motivated this morning. To add to my happy morning, one of the coworkers in my cube room surprised us all with chocolate croissants from a new bakery near his house. They are divine! I overheard him saying that he and his g/f went there this weekend and got bagels that had a huge amount of lox and cream cheese on them. That is one of my favorite breakfasts. Unless he's moved, he lives pretty close to me. I'm going to talk to him later and get more details, lol.

I have an online focus group tonight. It will be about 90 minutes and pays $175, so I'm excited about that. I wish I could make a living participating in 1-2 focus groups a day, lol. But the opportunities are nowhere near that plentiful and almost all of them, no matter what the subject is, have a disqualification for people who have participated in any other focus group within the last 6 months.

MissKittyDanger · September 2021

@banana468 It's interesting how things change as I don't remember preferred pronouns being a thing when I was younger, but I remember my mum telling me when I was young to go by the name someone introduced themselves to me, and to go by what they want. {full name vs nickname} That's only thing I could think even comparable to pronouns.

Sounds like you guys had a great talk though

banana468 · September 2021

@MissKittyDanger I honestly don't remember preferred pronouns coming up until recently and perhaps in the last 10 years but I am thrilled that kids are starting to understand the concepts of gender identity. The important part for us was to advise Chiquita how to make that decision.

MissKittyDanger · September 2021

@banana468 It really is great it's coming up. Identity is so important to kids, even if it's not pronouns but also names.
Idk anyone who is non-binary, but M's cousin is trans {mtf} and BK is so good with her

- which we find interesting because BK vibes better with females where as she has to "warm up to" males {even those she knows, minus M}

missJeanLouise · September 2021

I had a good day today. Minus waking up to ants in the house. Ants are my biggest nemesis, I hate them so much. (inside the house, outside they are fine.) DS was a peach, my workout buddy dropped off some flowers and candy, and my local bff brought over her daughter for a playdate and told me she is pregnant too! I am so sad she is moving back to Australia in December. I am going to miss them so much.

Tomorrow I am going to see if I can find DH's anniversary gift at a store locally. If not I will have to order it. Our anniversary isn't until the end of October so I have time but DS's birthday is in the middle of the month and I usually for about our anniversary until the last second so I am pretty stoked to be so ahead of the game this year.

charlotte989875 · September 2021

Ugh @Casadena this is exactly how I feel about work. I don’t love what I’m doing now, don’t feel like I’m really adding value so why am I spending this time away from Baby M for something I don’t love doing.

STARMOON44 · September 2021

Ughhhh one of my besties has Covid. Poor thing!

short+sassy · September 2021

@Casadena, I feel your angst! There is a lot I don't like about my job. I'm underpaid for what my position is by about 10-30%, so I know I could make more money elsewhere. I've always felt they are uncaring about employee welfare, but their handling of the pandemic really blazed that in 20 ft. red neon lights. I'm also bored and don't have much to do a lot of the time.

Though that last sentence is also part of the "pluses". I have time to get a lot of personal stuff done...as long as it's online or minimal phone...at work. I can cruise around on the Internet a lot. My boss leaves me alone and doesn't micro-manage, because I get my work done and the client is happy with it. My coworkers are great and easy to get along with. Though part of that might be because most of my work is pretty independent, so my work interaction with coworkers is minimal. When I look at it logically, it would be such a bad idea to leave unless it was for a lot more money or fewer hours or a WFH opportunity. On the day-to-day, it's fairly pleasant. I just feel a little stir crazy a lot. There is no way to really know what another job would be like, until you are already in it. And I have had some doozies, so I know how much worse it can be.

Like the old saying, "the devil you know vs. the devil you don't". I receive e-mails about openings from job hunting sites I'm on and I glance through them. But I usually can't tell just from the description if it fits one of my very specific parameters to leave and I'm not willing to spend the time to apply unless I can tell that.

Edited to add:
@STARMOON44, oh no! I hope your bestie is okay and only has a mild case. Speaking of jobs, how did your interview yesterday go?

MyNameIsNot · September 2021

Congrats to M on the new job!

That's cool about Chiquita's school and pronouns. I know it wasn't something we talked about in school (80's/90's). H has a teammate that just came out at work with a new name and pronouns last week. I'll just say that I wish his team was as adaptive as a bunch of preteens.

Nothing much else going on here. It still looks like fall, but it's 86 today. Work project have been picking up after a late summer lull, so enjoying being busy again.

ILoveBeachMusic · September 2021

I got out and did yard work this morning for about an hour. I hate all the yard work and it is one of the reasons I want to move. However, H said we will hire out the major work. Today's stuff was just unending weed pulling. We do have a fall clean up scheduled in about 2 weeks.

I've started doing a little bit of Christmas shopping. I normally do things early but am a bit scared this year about supplies being short! I've ordered/bought ornaments for the grands and 4 of the adult kids. I do have somethings I've bought on amazon prime day and from Norwex (SIL,DD,DS1 and DIL are very ecologically minded). I haven't gotten anything for DS2. I'm on the look out for a suitcase for DD.

I've started packing for my girls' trip to New Mexico on Saturday. I hate packing for fluctuating temperatures. It will be in mid to high 70s during the day and low 50s at night. Also packing a swimsuit because we are going to a spa for a soaking day. This is longest trip we will have taken together. Usually it is a long weekend but this time is 8 days since travel days are needed for those of us on the east coast (3 of the 4 of us). I'm looking forward to going to NM - never been there before.

MissKittyDanger · September 2021

MyNameIsNot said:

Congrats to M on the new job!

That's cool about Chiquita's school and pronouns. I know it wasn't something we talked about in school (80's/90's). H has a teammate that just came out at work with a new name and pronouns last week. I'll just say that I wish his team was as adaptive as a bunch of preteens.

Nothing much else going on here. It still looks like fall, but it's 86 today. Work project have been picking up after a late summer lull, so enjoying being busy again.

Are they just not being respectful?
I know when M's cousin first announced they were trans and changing name, M did tell her he was going to make a conscious effort to go by her proper name/pronouns but pre-apologized if he called her wrong name/pronoun.
She was really chill about it - understanding at the beginning change can be worked on - but I can honestly say we've never done it

Casadena · September 2021

charlotte989875 said:

Ugh @Casadena this is exactly how I feel about work. I don’t love what I’m doing now, don’t feel like I’m really adding value so why am I spending this time away from Baby M for something I don’t love doing.

I really really really want to take a year off with baby and then go back to work to full time. Idk if it's doable but it's all I've been thinking about the last couple weeks.

ei34 · September 2021

Feeling like fall here too which is really nice.

I'm in the casually looking for something else career-wise too. My current commute is great but I wouldn't be opposed to a different school. I'm dual-certified in School Counseling and Special Education, I've been doing the latter these last couple years but I miss counseling sometimes.

@STARMOON44 I hope your friend is feeling okay

MissKittyDanger · September 2021

STARMOON44 said:

Ughhhh one of my besties has Covid. Poor thing!

Oh no

Do they have symptoms? Hopefully they feel okay

banana468 · September 2021

STARMOON44 said:

Ughhhh one of my besties has Covid. Poor thing!

I hope your friend is on the road to recovery soon!

STARMOON44 · September 2021

MissKittyDanger said:

STARMOON44 said:

Ughhhh one of my besties has Covid. Poor thing!

Oh no Do they have symptoms? Hopefully they feel okay

Yes she’s feeling sick like a bad cold. Hoping her wife doesn’t catch it.

MyNameIsNot · September 2021

MissKittyDanger said:

MyNameIsNot said:

Congrats to M on the new job!

That's cool about Chiquita's school and pronouns. I know it wasn't something we talked about in school (80's/90's). H has a teammate that just came out at work with a new name and pronouns last week. I'll just say that I wish his team was as adaptive as a bunch of preteens.

Nothing much else going on here. It still looks like fall, but it's 86 today. Work project have been picking up after a late summer lull, so enjoying being busy again.

Are they just not being respectful?
I know when M's cousin first announced they were trans and changing name, M did tell her he was going to make a conscious effort to go by her proper name/pronouns but pre-apologized if he called her wrong name/pronoun.
She was really chill about it - understanding at the beginning change can be worked on - but I can honestly say we've never done it

They're just being stupid. H said they're acting like they've never met a trans person before. Which is probably true (at least as far as they know), but it seems kind of obvious to me that you don't ask your coworker if they're taking hormones.

banana468 · September 2021

STARMOON44 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

STARMOON44 said:

Ughhhh one of my besties has Covid. Poor thing!

Oh no Do they have symptoms? Hopefully they feel okay

Yes she’s feeling sick like a bad cold. Hoping her wife doesn’t catch it.

Are they hopefully both vaccinated? The breakthrough case of DH's coworker was annoying (mild flu/bad cold) and he is double vaccinated w/ Pfizer. Anecdotally we hear of more people we know with breakthrough cases with that vaccine (and it's the one I have).

MissKittyDanger · September 2021

MyNameIsNot said:

MissKittyDanger said:

MyNameIsNot said:

Congrats to M on the new job!

That's cool about Chiquita's school and pronouns. I know it wasn't something we talked about in school (80's/90's). H has a teammate that just came out at work with a new name and pronouns last week. I'll just say that I wish his team was as adaptive as a bunch of preteens.

Nothing much else going on here. It still looks like fall, but it's 86 today. Work project have been picking up after a late summer lull, so enjoying being busy again.

Are they just not being respectful?
I know when M's cousin first announced they were trans and changing name, M did tell her he was going to make a conscious effort to go by her proper name/pronouns but pre-apologized if he called her wrong name/pronoun.
She was really chill about it - understanding at the beginning change can be worked on - but I can honestly say we've never done it

They're just being stupid. H said they're acting like they've never met a trans person before. Which is probably true (at least as far as they know), but it seems kind of obvious to me that you don't ask your coworker if they're taking hormones.

Wow! Inappropriate questions!
Could your H word it to them that they get how not okay that question is?
{ex: "would you want someone to ask if you wear a condom or take birth control?"}

kvruns · September 2021

@short+sassy your job description sounds very similar to mine. I also subscribe to the "devil you know" philosophy so when I get discouraged with this job I will sometimes look a bit but realize that I like being comfortable in this stage of life and I dont want to learn a new job/company/culture unless it is really, really financially worth it.

@ILoveBeachMusic do you have a landscaping company or person you currently use? I'm seriously considering paying for someone to add rock beds around the house where mulch used to be and then figure out something by my shed bc it is a drainage nightmare. My parents said they'd help do the work but I do not need my 71-72 y/o parents trying to do it and I know realistically I will never get around to doing it myself.

ILoveBeachMusic · September 2021

kvruns said:

@short+sassy your job description sounds very similar to mine. I also subscribe to the "devil you know" philosophy so when I get discouraged with this job I will sometimes look a bit but realize that I like being comfortable in this stage of life and I dont want to learn a new job/company/culture unless it is really, really financially worth it.

@ILoveBeachMusic do you have a landscaping company or person you currently use? I'm seriously considering paying for someone to add rock beds around the house where mulch used to be and then figure out something by my shed bc it is a drainage nightmare. My parents said they'd help do the work but I do not need my 71-72 y/o parents trying to do it and I know realistically I will never get around to doing it myself.

We used Start to Finish Landscaping last fall to do our fall clean up and are using them again this year. Friends gave us their info since they had been using them for several years and really like their work. I will PM you their info if you want.

kerbohl · September 2021

@kvruns I had drainage issues in my backyard and decided to tackle it myself. I did not enjoy it - digging what was essentially a 50 ft trench 1.5 ft down was not fun ... in hindsight I would have gotten someone else to do it, or at least gotten help!

STARMOON44 · September 2021

banana468 said:

STARMOON44 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

STARMOON44 said:

Ughhhh one of my besties has Covid. Poor thing!

Oh no Do they have symptoms? Hopefully they feel okay

Yes she’s feeling sick like a bad cold. Hoping her wife doesn’t catch it.

Are they hopefully both vaccinated? The breakthrough case of DH's coworker was annoying (mild flu/bad cold) and he is double vaccinated w/ Pfizer. Anecdotally we hear of more people we know with breakthrough cases with that vaccine (and it's the one I have).

Yup! Double vaxxed, I think one with Pfizer the other Moderna.

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