Wedding Woes

Classic: 4 women in the world.

I have been with my girlfriend for five months. After I got a big raise at work, I decided to splurge and upgrade my TV and computer. I knew my girlfriend was raised by a single mom, “DeeDee,” and that money was tight with the two younger brothers. I offered them my 4-year-old computer and TV. At first, my girlfriend’s mom was overjoyed. We drove down and set everything up for the kids. A week later, DeeDee texted me that her boys had destroyed both the TV and the computer and that it was my job to replace them. I told her no. She left a profanity-filled voice message. When I went to talk to my girlfriend, she came down on her mom’s side. It was an “accident,” and it wasn’t like I couldn’t afford to replace them. We fought. My girlfriend started to cry and I apologized to make her stop, but I am still pissed. I am questioning my relationship with her now. I do love her, but this entire situation has put things in a different light. We are each other’s first serious relationship. What do I need to do?

Re: Classic: 4 women in the world.

  • Well, you surely don't need to replace anything that you gifted. 

    Based on the attitude like that I'd be quite clear: Your goodwill gesture was not treated well and you aren't inclined to replace something used with something brand new because they were destroyed not by you.

    That the GF isn't seeing that this is the fault of her family is  not a good sign.  It is likely time to end your first serious relationship soon before it costs you more money.
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    "This is my first serious relationship. This woman and her family seem bananas, but is this what you do in a serious relationship?"
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Well obviously you should apologize and buy everyone new tvs. /S

    Come on, LW. What do you think you should do when people make absurd demands and then use tears to try to force your hand? I know this is your first romantic relationship, but surely you've interacted with other humans before? 
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It’s been five months. Five. Months. More than 4 women in the world for sure. 

  • Serious red flags waving.  Yeesh.  The LW was already super nice and now is being punished for it.  At this point, I wouldn't even be nice about it.  I'd tell them they're being completely ridiculous.  That I'd done them a favor.  That's it.  But certainly wasn't going to spend money on items they destroyed.

    To be blunt, if a guy I'd been dating for only 5 months pulled the "you should pay for this because you can afford it" card, I'd be gone.  An entitled attitude is a personality trait I despise.

    I do something like this with tenants.  I often provide washers and dryers, but I don't maintain (unless it's easy) or replace them.  All of that is included in my lease.  I used to fully include them.  But quickly learned how easily they can be destroyed by people overloading them.  

    I've also sometimes had opportunities to give tenants items that other previous tenants left behind.  But, again, make it very clear it is not part of the lease.  Like the tenant who lives next door to me.  The previous tenants left all their stuff.  Most of it we'd cleaned out before we even did showings, but we had their tv.  Especially since he was going to be outfitting it to run it as an AirBnB sometimes, we told him he could have the tv if he wanted it but we weren't responsible for it.  He especially appreciated all the pots/pans/dishes/glasses they'd left!  I know that saved him hundreds of dollars.  
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