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Wedding Woes

I cannot with you, LW.

Dear Prudence,

I started dating a guy last month. I thought he really liked me. Last week we were watching an obscure TV show that we both like. We were talking about a couple of the female characters, and he said one of them was not his type. The weird thing is that I’ve always thought I looked a little like her. I’ve been feeling weird about this for days. I’ve known this guy for a while and have always kind of thought he was desperate for a girlfriend. I’m now worried that he’s not actually attracted to me. I definitely don’t look like the female character he thought was attractive. I don’t really know how to bring this up. I feel like he would just tell me he didn’t think I looked like the character. Is there some way I can tell for sure?

— Not Just a Pretty Face

Re: I cannot with you, LW.

  • Please just get therapy for your insecurity 
  • I feel like this is something totally normal to ruminate on for like, an hour?  My H thinks Jennifer Anniston is super hot....I don't look like Jennifer Anniston.  It's fine. 
  • It's been a MONTH.    

    "Hey, what do you mean by your type?  What is your type?"  

    You're still figuring out if you two are compatible.  If you're not compatible it's not your fault.  Some things just don't mix but if you constantly look at this like there's fault to be had I guarantee you that you will not have additional healthy relationships in your future. 
  • I hope we get a Prudie from this person's SO.

    That's all I have to add.  

    :smiley:


  • Yikes. I’d tell the boyfriend to run. 

    Work your stuff out alone, not on the person you’ve been seeing for a month. 
  • “Types” are so overrated. FI wasn’t my physical type when we started going out. But I loved his personality so much I gave it a chance and I’m so glad I did. I would have missed out on something wonderful if I had said “thank you, next,” because he didn’t match what I usually would go for. And he’s a cutie, even if 23 year old me wasn’t sure. Lol. LW needs to chill and work on their insecurities. 


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  • mrsconn23 said:

    Dear Prudence,

    I started dating a guy last month. I thought he really liked me. Last week we were watching an obscure TV show that we both like. We were talking about a couple of the female characters, and he said one of them was not his type. The weird thing is that I’ve always thought I looked a little like her. I’ve been feeling weird about this for days. I’ve known this guy for a while and have always kind of thought he was desperate for a girlfriend. I’m now worried that he’s not actually attracted to me. I definitely don’t look like the female character he thought was attractive. I don’t really know how to bring this up. I feel like he would just tell me he didn’t think I looked like the character. Is there some way I can tell for sure?

    — Not Just a Pretty Face

    I was with you all.  Why is the LW getting so obsessed about this.  I went back and read the letter and it's even worse.

    It's the LW who thinks she looks like this actress and even she thinks she only looks A LITTLE like her.

    The b/f might not think the LW looks like this actress at all.  Or maybe it's one feature the actress has that makes her "not his type".  "Type" is such a huge generalization anyway.

    The LW is making Grand Canyon sized assumptions here and she needs to stop it.  It's too bad she didn't say something in the moment.  Like (said casually), "Oh! That's so funny!  I've always thought I looked a little like her.  How come she isn't your type?"  I bet she would have nipped all this worry in the bud with his answer.  More likely than not that he didn't see any resemblance at all.   
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Maybe he didnt mean it in a physical way? “She’s not my type because she didn’t finish high school… she’s not my type because she eats over the sink….she’s not my type because she over analyzes stuff… oh wait”.

  • Wow, talk about overthinking something. 

    Maybe he doesn't think you look like the character. Did you say you thought you did? How do you know that was even what he was talking about? 

    And just because someone isn't the physical type that a person is typically attracted to doesn't mean they don't ever find anyone of that type attractive. My husband is the total opposite of most of the men I've been attracted to in my life, but I married him anyway and I think he's adorable. 
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