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Wednesday

VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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edited November 2021 in Wedding Woes
This week is going slooooooow.  SSDD at work and life.

I've never talked a lot about the breakup with K.  Basically, I threw down an ultimatum based on a repetitive behavior/lies and they walked out on me on Saturday, November 7.  They came back for 2 hours, with their sidepiece, on Sunday while I left and packed the weirdest shit ever (roller derby trophies, pageant crowns, some clothes, but not, as they later yelled at me for, their check book) and ghosted me for 10 days.  I didn't know where they were .  That Friday, I had to make special arrangements to get into the bank b/c of covid restrictions to close down our joint checking account.  The following Tuesday, I had their garage door opener disabled and the locks to the apartment changed.  Once I did that, I 1. finally got some damn sleep and 2. stopped texting them to find out where they were and, something I'm glad didn't happen, trying to get them back.  Thankfully, I was in therapy already through all of this, and my therapist very much helped me through it with realizing some things. 

K texted me 2 days later, some long drawn out messiness.  I was polite, but cold.  They then started trying to make plans to have their mother come over, when I was at work, to start packing their things.  I said no, this was my space now and I didn't let people into my space to take things out when I wasn't there.  K tried to argue with me.  I then informed them that I had closed the checking account and locked them out of the apartment.  They lost their mind and sent supremely nasty texts.  I packed up and organized all of their shit, made arrangements with their parents came to pick it up, and moved them out.  It wasn't totally finished until January b/c there were some exchanges of things.  I don't regret the relationship and there were some really good things that came out of it for me.  I also never want to see their face again.  Seeing some of my FB memories this week has been hard to see, but I'm also proud of how far I've come.  I got together with K so quickly after the divorce (even though I felt like I'd been single for years in my marriage) that I had a lot to deal with.

So, anyway, I've come through this remembrance pretty okay and I'm glad for that.  It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, but that's a testament to the work I've done mentally and physically, so I'm proud of myself.

ETA:  32 boxes of shit plus furniture.  THIRTY-TWO BOXES of stuff.  I don't think I had that stuff ever.
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Re: Wednesday

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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    CharmedPam said:
    Im glad K is out and you’re in a better place @VarunaTT. I remember some of that actually.  Sometimes it just takes a “anniversary” to remember things and collect your thoughts and realize how strong you are of a person. Was it Nov 2020? I thought it was 2019! Last year went slooooow then!
    I remember the dates so well, b/c I was SUPPOSED to be celebrating that the election was officially called for Biden/Kamala on Nov 7 . Instead, I was dealing with K lying to me about where they were and who they were with and having a complete mental breakdown about it.
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    Right @charlotte989875?  Here's hoping under 5 comes soon, but I bet the next wave will be 2-4 and maybe not the little-littles. 

    Related: I read an article not too long ago about how pregnant people really got fucked over with the vaccine stuff because they didn't test it on pregnant people and then the guidelines kept changing.  I know they've settled on that it's recommended now, but there was so much loss in the process and also, we could have a whole bunch of babies born with the antibodies right now.  Ugh. 
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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    @VarunaTT fb/timehop memories can really hit in the feels. You've done so well and so proud of you! Crazy it's been a year!

    @mrsconn23 Anyone pregnant I know, got the vax. Also yay DefConn! I've heard kiddos having low effects, which gives me hope for BK

    @charlotte989875 I couldn't handle therapy {I did 2 sessions about 6m after my dad died} because the wounds were too fresh. But I'm so glad you're going :) Sounds like it's really helping!
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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    BK is in much better spirits! She didn't have a fever so she didn't need any meds yesterday, which meant she could go back to school {she had to be at least 24hrs without fever/meds}
    She's still getting run down easily, so my mum was able to have her actually nap yesterday. We joked we couldn't remember last time BK actually napped on purpose there.
    Her appetite isn't fully back - she didn't wanna eat much at my mum's but had some stirfry at home - but you can tell she's trying.

    She did have a coughing fit. We've taken to running up to sit her up and give water. Water helps settle it, but it's mostly to sit her up. We propped her pillows but I guess it's not enough.

    I've never been so glad to have an energetic 3 year old lol!

    We're hoping she's good for gymnastics this weekend. I may call and ask.


    Side note: I'm seeing RMT in January. That's earliest I could get :\ 
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    ei34ei34 member
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    My youngest sister (due in February) was fully vaccinated before conceiving this baby.  I have two pregnant friends who are also vaxxed, I know for sure it's recommended by OBs.

    Anniversaries are hard @VarunaTT.  FB Memories can be awful.  Really glad that you are no longer with K and @CharmedPam that you are free too.  Totally get that some times of day are harder than others.  Varuna I def know the feeling of not being able to sleep because you're wondering if/when they are walking through the door and what kind of state they'll be in.  
    This is the slowest week!  Yet another meeting tonight after the kids go to sleep which is making it worse.
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    Jstump2Jstump2 member
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    Happy Hump day!

    Those social media memories can really be a double edge sword. Can be nice to look back but can also bring up some painful memories.

    I put in some work this morning and am now thinking about lunch. Lol I need to run to Kohls for an Amazon return, not sure what I’m going to do for food yet.

    I’m not sure what we are doing tonight but I need to work on the wallpaper some more as that is what is holding our next steps up. I really hope we can get at least the living room put together. The whole house is basically in various states of unfinished and making me anxious. We added a pantry to the kitchen, moved the placement of the door to the mudroom (so we can eventually extend the kitchen), and added a wall to the master bedroom to create a bigger walk-in closet. My H wanted to make all those changes of the bat since they change the foot-print of the house and we are going to be putting in new flooring through-out.  I know in a couple years it will be so worth it once the house is done to exactly our taste but until then I have to deal. Lol


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    levioosalevioosa member
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    *hugs* @VarunaTT and @CharmedPam

    I’m sure you already know @CharmedPam but it’s Botox day lol. Although the deal this year isn’t nearly as good as in years past. 

    I’m hoping to keep my energy up. I didn’t sleep very well last night and I was up at 5 for my physical therapy this morning. I’m trying to justify vacation days maybe in December since FI will also be off the week of Christmas. 

    I looked into Better Help last night, I’m not sure if anyone has used it before and has liked it? It’s still not cheap, $85 a week, but better than $150 therapists usually charge. I might not begin it until the new year though, with all of the spending I’ll be doing. 

    Otherwise it’s SSDD. 


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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    levioosa said:


    I looked into Better Help last night, I’m not sure if anyone has used it before and has liked it? It’s still not cheap, $85 a week, but better than $150 therapists usually charge. I might not begin it until the new year though, with all of the spending I’ll be doing. 

    I've never used it, but I also don't go to weekly therapy.  I'm at once a month.  Is there an option to pay per session?  It's just that $85/week seems steep, especially if you're not getting a session every week. 

    I am personally starting to loathe doing therapy virtually.  I miss the face to face conversations I had with my therapist.  Also, the tech my therapist's office uses is inconsistent.  We end up having a phone conversation and I get distracted.  I feel like in her office I can focus and I'm not surrounded by every day distractions. 
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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    levioosa said:
    I looked into Better Help last night, I’m not sure if anyone has used it before and has liked it? It’s still not cheap, $85 a week, but better than $150 therapists usually charge. I might not begin it until the new year though, with all of the spending I’ll be doing. 

    Otherwise it’s SSDD. 
    I've had two friends who used it and they both liked who they were matched with and the service.
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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    @VarunaTT and @CharmedPam, I'm glad you both came out of your 2020 breakups strong and in a good place.  I know it was a hard road to get here.  I know she hasn't posted yet today, but same for @climbingsingle.

    @charlotte989875, It's good to hear how much you are enjoying your new role at work!  

    I hadn't done a gas station audit in quite awhile, but I did one last night when I got off work.  I have another one scheduled for Friday.  I also have a mystery shop tonight that I am excited about.  It's for a restaurant, but is a curbside pick-up!  Picking up the food is quick and easy.  Filling out the form is also fast because it's just a few multiple choice questions and then uploading various pics of the food.  The most time consuming part is going to the restaurant because it is in a suburb.  But worth it for free, ready-made delicious dinners.

    -----------------------------

    I know I shouldn't be getting too excited yet, but I saw a property for sale yesterday that I am finding very tempting.  Like, a home we would use an occasional weekend retreat for now, but might move to if I either get a closer job, retire from my current job (2-3 years), or get a WFH job.

    I feel like my attraction to this property is a sign I am getting older, lol.  It's out in the woods on a river (mellow river, locally famous for tubing).  Though only about 15 minutes from a decent sized town and about 1 hour from NOLA.

    I was having fantasies yesterday of living there and getting two pygmy goats, that our dog Izzy can play and scamper around with on the secluded 1-acre lot, lol.

    It's actually two houses on one property and I think they'd both be great for AirBnB.  I think the small one could rent for $130/night and the larger one for $170/night.  Obviously, there normally wouldn't be a 100% occupancy.  I'm not sure if even 50% is possible, but even that level would be amazing for the purchase price of $235K.

    Funny enough, this property was for sale months ago and I was thinking about it then.  But seeing that it is still for sale feels like it's meant to be mine.  Or maybe it's just overpriced, lol.

    It's funny the seller calls it an "upscale house".  There are some upgrades, but I find it overall to look plain and a bit dated.  We would definitely want to do improvements with time, starting with the kitchens.  Mmmm...putting in much larger windows for the side that faces the river would be awesome.  But it looks live-able now and the location is amazing.  That's really it's biggest selling point.

    For anyone who'd like to take a gander, here's the link:

    Artist's Secluded River House W/$1700 Rental Cottage Income - real... (craigslist.org)

    Let me know what you all think!

    I also laugh every time I read his sentence, "There are no alligators in this river."  You know you're in Louisiana when!  Lol. 

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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    mrsconn23 said:
    levioosa said:


    I looked into Better Help last night, I’m not sure if anyone has used it before and has liked it? It’s still not cheap, $85 a week, but better than $150 therapists usually charge. I might not begin it until the new year though, with all of the spending I’ll be doing. 

    I've never used it, but I also don't go to weekly therapy.  I'm at once a month.  Is there an option to pay per session?  It's just that $85/week seems steep, especially if you're not getting a session every week. 

    I am personally starting to loathe doing therapy virtually.  I miss the face to face conversations I had with my therapist.  Also, the tech my therapist's office uses is inconsistent.  We end up having a phone conversation and I get distracted.  I feel like in her office I can focus and I'm not surrounded by every day distractions. 
    I know a few friends who use TalkSpace and depending on how you want to do it (videos, text only, occasional calls) I think it’s slightly cheaper? 

    Since I started with her during Covid I’ve actually never been to my therapist’s office, but we don’t video, just phone and I kind of love it. I don’t have to worry about anyone watching me while I’m talking and can ugly cry all I need to!
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    ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
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    @VarunaTT and @CharmedPam. glad you guys are doing so much now than you were last year! I finally went to urgent care about my ear. My internist has referred me to an ENT but wanted me to go to urgent care to rule out an infection. Doc there wasn't great. He said the ear drum looked abnormal but couldn't tell if there is an infection. He did prescribe an antibiotic just in case. I've had two doses so far no difference. 

    Tonight I have book club. I missed last month because I was sick so I'm really looking forward to it. I still have nasal stuff from the cold but it's not Covid. I actually think my allergies are extending into this season so I should restart my allergy meds. Normally I don't take them after a hard frost until early March. I've made a cranberry salad for book club tonight since we are doing a Friendsgiving kind of thing. I'm hosting for December so now I need to start planning that!
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    CharmedPamCharmedPam member
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    @charlotte989875, that’s great! Glad the move was a good choice 
    @levioosa I actually didn’t know! But waited in the queue for 25 minutes to snag the deal.  I think it was the same as last years?
    @short+sassyI love that place! It’s huuuuuge. Maybe a bit outdated because of the dark cabinetry, but those resurface kits are amazeballs.

    Re: therapy.  I used talkspace.  For convenience. I think it was $75 or $80 a month for once a week, text only (you pay more for vids).  I liked my first therapist but she went on maternity leave. 2nd pairing wasn’t a hit. So I went back to face-to-face and found someone entirely new. My mental health copay is only $20/session, so it’s about the same. 

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    banana468banana468 member
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    I am taking the afternoon off!  My email at work is so messed up and Chiquita is going horseback riding for the first time so here we go!  

    I'm pumped that she's able to back to these activities and our fingers are crossed that we are into Christmas with all of us vaccinated/boosted.  

    I did have a discussion with my mom about trying to be here for Christmas.  My dad has accidents and I get it.  They're embarrassing and messy - but I have 3 bathrooms, laundry and an understanding home.  We can work with a dude who has accidents and I have laundered gross things for nearly 11 years now.  My kids want to see their grandparents for Christmas. 


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    STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
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    short+sassy said:
    @VarunaTT and @CharmedPam, I'm glad you both came out of your 2020 breakups strong and in a good place.  I know it was a hard road to get here.  I know she hasn't posted yet today, but same for @climbingsingle.

    @charlotte989875, It's good to hear how much you are enjoying your new role at work!  

    I hadn't done a gas station audit in quite awhile, but I did one last night when I got off work.  I have another one scheduled for Friday.  I also have a mystery shop tonight that I am excited about.  It's for a restaurant, but is a curbside pick-up!  Picking up the food is quick and easy.  Filling out the form is also fast because it's just a few multiple choice questions and then uploading various pics of the food.  The most time consuming part is going to the restaurant because it is in a suburb.  But worth it for free, ready-made delicious dinners.

    -----------------------------

    I know I shouldn't be getting too excited yet, but I saw a property for sale yesterday that I am finding very tempting.  Like, a home we would use an occasional weekend retreat for now, but might move to if I either get a closer job, retire from my current job (2-3 years), or get a WFH job.

    I feel like my attraction to this property is a sign I am getting older, lol.  It's out in the woods on a river (mellow river, locally famous for tubing).  Though only about 15 minutes from a decent sized town and about 1 hour from NOLA.

    I was having fantasies yesterday of living there and getting two pygmy goats, that our dog Izzy can play and scamper around with on the secluded 1-acre lot, lol.

    It's actually two houses on one property and I think they'd both be great for AirBnB.  I think the small one could rent for $130/night and the larger one for $170/night.  Obviously, there normally wouldn't be a 100% occupancy.  I'm not sure if even 50% is possible, but even that level would be amazing for the purchase price of $235K.

    Funny enough, this property was for sale months ago and I was thinking about it then.  But seeing that it is still for sale feels like it's meant to be mine.  Or maybe it's just overpriced, lol.

    It's funny the seller calls it an "upscale house".  There are some upgrades, but I find it overall to look plain and a bit dated.  We would definitely want to do improvements with time, starting with the kitchens.  Mmmm...putting in much larger windows for the side that faces the river would be awesome.  But it looks live-able now and the location is amazing.  That's really it's biggest selling point.

    For anyone who'd like to take a gander, here's the link:

    Artist's Secluded River House W/$1700 Rental Cottage Income - real... (craigslist.org)

    Let me know what you all think!

    I also laugh every time I read his sentence, "There are no alligators in this river."  You know you're in Louisiana when!  Lol. 

    my biggest issue from an AirBnB standpoint is that it sounds like the guest cottage is attached to the main house? I always want a private property if that’s the route I’m going. 
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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    @STARMOON44, I can't quite tell from the exterior pic, but they either aren't attached at all or are only attached by a stair landing.  They definitely don't share any walls.  I hadn't thought of that, but it is a bonus they are more separate buildings.

    It does detract from some of the seclusion.  But I could also see a larger group potentially liking that.  They could book both houses and the older kids could sleep in one house and the adults could enjoy late-night margaritas in the screened in sun room for the other house, lol.  Or families traveling together could each have their own house, but at the same location.

    For AirBnB purposes, one thing I would want to improve upon are better outdoor areas.  Right now, there is a small deck by the water, but only enough room for 2 chairs.
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    CharmedPamCharmedPam member
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    ::hugs to you @climbingsingle:: I remember all the fuckery he put you through. So happy you’re in a better place now.

    people at work also noticed I’m happier lately.  I have less detective work to do all day (plus a bitchy co-worker left last year and made the whole work atmosphere better, but lets say divorce did it?)

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