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"Oh you must have me confused with A."

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

Although I identify as she/her amongst my co-workers/friends, another friend who happens to look very similar goes by they/them. Co-workers have often gotten us mixed up, which makes me feel uneasy. What is the best approach to letting people know that they may have gotten us mixed up?

— Preferring She

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Re: "Oh you must have me confused with A."

  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    “Oh you must mean First Name, who works on the 7th floor.”

    I don’t know why anyone’s pronouns matter here. 
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Hey, LW, you're being a transphobic POS.

    You say the same thing you would say if you were mixed up with any other person.  Then you do some internal examination of your own discomfort and biases about transgender persons.
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    VarunaTT said:
    Hey, LW, you're being a transphobic POS.

    You say the same thing you would say if you were mixed up with any other person.  Then you do some internal examination of your own discomfort and biases about transgender persons.
    100%


    image
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Having been called by the wrong name a number of times in my life, it's annoying for sure, but I'm a little confused as to what someone's pronouns have to do with anything. If people mix you up with someone else and call you by the wrong name, you just say, "Oh, I'm not A, my name is B" or something along those lines.
    image
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Not quite the same, but I did this with identical twins (John and James) when I was in college.

    One of the twins (James) was my lab partner.  I'd never met his twin, but knew he had one.

    I was at a coffee shop in another town and saw, who I thought was James, working behind the counter.  I went up and started talking especially warm and friendly.  I think at first, John thought I was just an extra friendly customer.  But then I started making more specific comments and he finally asked, "Do you think I'm James?  I'm his brother John."

    It was pretty funny!  I laughed and apologized.  I told him I definitely had and that James was my lab partner.   
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