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How many emergencies are y'all having?

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I have a friend who regularly refuses to answer phone calls, including mine. I have discussed this habit with her more than once. I have explained that it bothers me because what if I need her in an emergency? I called her back to back to see if she would answer the phone. She did not. I would not normally let her behavior bother me because I have other friends to call on. I left my phone in a restaurant recently, this same friend must have tried to call me and when I did not answer in a timely manner as usual, she called another friend in a panic saying she could not reach me. Is this a sign of depression?

— Stop Ignoring My Calls

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Re: How many emergencies are y'all having?

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    What is the deal here?? 

    I will say I had this issue years ago with a company owner.  She OWNED the company and when there were emergencies like we have no internet and she's MARRIED TO THE IT GUY I can't get a hold of her.  Her answer was, "I don't like to be disturbed."  My answer was, "Then find a job that isn't owning  company where other people depend on you."  

    I also question if this is a person who doesn't want to respond to any message ever vs. she hates talking.  DH isn't a phone guy.  I try to only call him when it's worth hashing out over the phone.  Otherwise we send messages to each other throughout the day.  If the LW is going to the voice vs. a text and the friend prefers texting then you need to also consider how the friend wants to communicate. 


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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    charlotte989875 said:
    Maybe she doesn’t answer because you call her repeatedly during the workday just to chat about nonsense. 
    I have a friend that used to do this all the time. I work M-F 8-5 and have my entire adult life. Why are you calling me at 2pm on a Tuesday!?
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Maybe friend has phone anxiety.
    LW could also text saying "Need you to pick up" so that friend knows it's important.

    If you have time to call back to back, you can also text saying it's important.


    LW .... talk to your friend. There's probably a way to fix this instead of Prudie.
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  • missJeanLouisemissJeanLouise member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    1) don't count on this friend for emergencies
    2) text her instead? 
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    Maybe because I’m an elder millennial but there are people I always pick up for (H, sister, best friend) because they’re also elder millennials and will only call if they absolutely need something right this minute and it’s probably something big. 

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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I just thought this LW was being kind of annoying and the friend too.

    Then to just leap to "is this a sign of depression"?  TF?
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  • kerbohlkerbohl member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    When my first nephew was born, my sister, who wasn't due for another two to three weeks, was in town for a wedding.  I got three phone calls around 12:30 that night (I was home alone because my parents were out of town) and ignored the first two.  Turns out that her water broke at the wedding ... 
    I tend to answer my phone now, I still feel bad that it look so long for me to pick up.  At the same time, sometimes I forget to charge me phone for a day or two, so I'm still hard to reach.  Just not a phone person.
    I think LW is out of line.  Calm down - not everyone does things the way you do.  Not everyone communicates in the same way.  It doesn't automatically mean mental illness.

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  • banana468banana468 member
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    kerbohl said:
    When my first nephew was born, my sister, who wasn't due for another two to three weeks, was in town for a wedding.  I got three phone calls around 12:30 that night (I was home alone because my parents were out of town) and ignored the first two.  Turns out that her water broke at the wedding ... 
    I tend to answer my phone now, I still feel bad that it look so long for me to pick up.  At the same time, sometimes I forget to charge me phone for a day or two, so I'm still hard to reach.  Just not a phone person.
    I think LW is out of line.  Calm down - not everyone does things the way you do.  Not everyone communicates in the same way.  It doesn't automatically mean mental illness.
    Do they not text?  Sometimes I'll send one advising that we NEED to talk not for fun.  Heck, it was a text that warned me to call my uncle because my aunt had died.
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Then don't depend on this friend for emergencies.  I bet she doesn't want you to depend on her for emergencies anyway and was too nice to say that.

    Not to mention, some of the only "emergencies" I have ever had are car related.  And I have Progressive's roadside assistance for that.

    If it's a medical emergency, call 911 first anyway.  Not friends and family.  Speaking of medical emergencies, my H has a bad shoulder and his arm sometimes gets pulled out of socket.  It's so painful he can't even walk and always needs to go to the ER, usually by ambulance.  He has twice had that happen where he didn't even call me until after he was at the hospital and had been given painkillers.
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  • flantasticflantastic member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    banana468 said:
    kerbohl said:
    When my first nephew was born, my sister, who wasn't due for another two to three weeks, was in town for a wedding.  I got three phone calls around 12:30 that night (I was home alone because my parents were out of town) and ignored the first two.  Turns out that her water broke at the wedding ... 
    I tend to answer my phone now, I still feel bad that it look so long for me to pick up.  At the same time, sometimes I forget to charge me phone for a day or two, so I'm still hard to reach.  Just not a phone person.
    I think LW is out of line.  Calm down - not everyone does things the way you do.  Not everyone communicates in the same way.  It doesn't automatically mean mental illness.
    Do they not text?  Sometimes I'll send one advising that we NEED to talk not for fun.  Heck, it was a text that warned me to call my uncle because my aunt had died.
    But really. If you need me, there are things you can do to increase the likelihood I'll respond. Like leaving a voicemail that says you need me to call back ASAP. Or a text that says the same thing.
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    flantastic said:
    banana468 said:
    kerbohl said:
    When my first nephew was born, my sister, who wasn't due for another two to three weeks, was in town for a wedding.  I got three phone calls around 12:30 that night (I was home alone because my parents were out of town) and ignored the first two.  Turns out that her water broke at the wedding ... 
    I tend to answer my phone now, I still feel bad that it look so long for me to pick up.  At the same time, sometimes I forget to charge me phone for a day or two, so I'm still hard to reach.  Just not a phone person.
    I think LW is out of line.  Calm down - not everyone does things the way you do.  Not everyone communicates in the same way.  It doesn't automatically mean mental illness.
    Do they not text?  Sometimes I'll send one advising that we NEED to talk not for fun.  Heck, it was a text that warned me to call my uncle because my aunt had died.
    But really. If you need me, there are things you can do to increase the likelihood I'll respond. Like leaving a voicemail that says you need me to call back ASAP. Or a text that says the same thing.
    Yes. If I call and DH doesn't answer, I will text him if I need to speak with him urgently.  Or vice versa, I'll send a text that I didn't need anything or the unimportant thing I was going to tell him over the phone. 

    When DH had his burn accident in Oct, I tried to call the kiddo.  He didn't answer (his norm), so I sent a text telling him it wasn't an emergency but to please call ASAP so I could give him a head's up.  

    If someone calls me that doesn't normally call me OR someone calls me at an 'off' time and doesn't leave a VM or f/u with a text, I honestly assume it's a butt-dial. 
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  • kerbohlkerbohl member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    banana468 said:
    kerbohl said:
    When my first nephew was born, my sister, who wasn't due for another two to three weeks, was in town for a wedding.  I got three phone calls around 12:30 that night (I was home alone because my parents were out of town) and ignored the first two.  Turns out that her water broke at the wedding ... 
    I tend to answer my phone now, I still feel bad that it look so long for me to pick up.  At the same time, sometimes I forget to charge me phone for a day or two, so I'm still hard to reach.  Just not a phone person.
    I think LW is out of line.  Calm down - not everyone does things the way you do.  Not everyone communicates in the same way.  It doesn't automatically mean mental illness.
    Do they not text?  Sometimes I'll send one advising that we NEED to talk not for fun.  Heck, it was a text that warned me to call my uncle because my aunt had died.
    My nephew just turned 13 ... I know text existed, but I don't think it was as big a thing  back then?  Also, this dates me but they were calling a landline.

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