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Legally married and now what to get marry by the church

spena91spena91 member
Eighth Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
Hello,

My husband and I elope 5 years ago and we want to get married by the church. The priest is telling us to get a marriage license knowing that we're legally married. He's claiming that its to renew the vow but I went on the website and there is no renewal. Do we really need a marriage license because from my understanding marriage license is to get married? We just want the blessing. This is in NY.
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Re: Legally married and now what to get marry by the church

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You won't be able to get a marriage license if you are already married. Part of getting a marriage license is to guarantee you aren't already married - you have to declare that you aren't married. Talk to the priest again. Maybe he misunderstood what you were asking.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    If this is Catholic be clear that you are requesting a convalidation.   Are you sure he isn't asking to see the official copy of your marriage license that proves he would not be legally marrying you?
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    spena91 said:
    Hello,

    My husband and I elope 5 years ago and we want to get married by the church. The priest is telling us to get a marriage license knowing that we're legally married. He's claiming that its to renew the vow but I went on the website and there is no renewal. Do we really need a marriage license because from my understanding marriage license is to get married? We just want the blessing. This is in NY.
    Renewing your vows is not a legal concept. Couples who renew don't get any kind of license for that. 

    It sounds like the priest is confused, or maybe wants your marriage certificate from when you actually got married 5 years ago? 
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  • geebee908geebee908 member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    My guess is that he's asking for a certified copy of your marriage license before he proceeds with a convalidation. It's more than just a blessing also; you're asking for him to witness the rite that makes your marriage a sacramental marriage and one that you plan to be in for the rest of your lives.
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    banana468 said:
    If this is Catholic be clear that you are requesting a convalidation.   Are you sure he isn't asking to see the official copy of your marriage license that proves he would not be legally marrying you?
    I'm assuming this is what he meant.  I'm not Catholic, but assume he needs to see the certified marriage license that you all already have, in order to complete a covalidation.
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  • spena91spena91 member
    Eighth Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    He knows I'm legally married and he said that I need a marriage license to be able to do a ceremony. I've called the city clerk and other churches are telling me the same thing which it makes no sense to me. They say cause im getting marry to him and i told them im already married and they're respond is "not by the church". thank you everyone!
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You are in New York City? This makes non sense whatsoever because in the US we don't have a "church" and "civil" ceremony, just one ceremony (which you've already had). You are wanting a convalidation which which only the church controls - the state or local government has nothing to do with that. I don't know what to tell you other than maybe go to the archdiocese.
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I’m in NY and was married in a court house before our church ceremony (friends- don’t hate me!). There is only one marriage license that you (presumably) received when you married 5 years ago. Send that copy to the priest and tell him, again, that you are already legally married and there is no additional license. The pastor who married us didn’t care to see it but there’s nothing else, for the state, the priest needs to do. 

    Like @ILoveBeachMusic said- the state is not involved in the church ceremony since you’re already married. If your priest is confused then go to the archdiocese. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    To add, it's possible that what he wants to do is confirm that you two ARE legally married so that if there isn't a marriage license that he signs that he also understands that the legal marriage was present and you aren't asking for something that is not legally binding.  


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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Also, I think what you also need to do is repeat that you're looking for a convalidation and continue to push for the next steps that are needed in the marriage prep process through the church/local diocese.  This is not a simple blessing but it's done to ensure that your marriage is Sacramental.    You'll likely need to go through an interview process with him along with multiple pre-cana classes. 
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  • flantasticflantastic member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I feel like there might be a language barrier here.

    OP, tell the clerk you need a certified copy of your signed and filed marriage license from the date you were married legally. That is what they should be able to give you.

    Then show that to your priest. If he pushes back after that, talk to another priest.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If you're "legally married" then you already have a license.

    You need a certified copy of your marriage certificate, along with pre-cana and whatever else the Church requires, in order to have a convalidation ceremony. 
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    charlotte989875 said:
    I’m in NY and was married in a court house before our church ceremony (friends- don’t hate me!). There is only one marriage license that you (presumably) received when you married 5 years ago. Send that copy to the priest and tell him, again, that you are already legally married and there is no additional license. The pastor who married us didn’t care to see it but there’s nothing else, for the state, the priest needs to do. 

    Like @ILoveBeachMusic said- the state is not involved in the church ceremony since you’re already married. If your priest is confused then go to the archdiocese. 
    Never hate; but judgment if you did so and deliberately misled your guests for some reason.  Many have a civil ceremony prior to their religious ceremony.

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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    MobKaz said:
    charlotte989875 said:
    I’m in NY and was married in a court house before our church ceremony (friends- don’t hate me!). There is only one marriage license that you (presumably) received when you married 5 years ago. Send that copy to the priest and tell him, again, that you are already legally married and there is no additional license. The pastor who married us didn’t care to see it but there’s nothing else, for the state, the priest needs to do. 

    Like @ILoveBeachMusic said- the state is not involved in the church ceremony since you’re already married. If your priest is confused then go to the archdiocese. 
    Never hate; but judgment if you did so and deliberately misled your guests for some reason.  Many have a civil ceremony prior to their religious ceremony.

    Cool, thanks. It’s not like I’ve been around these boards for years and know exactly how everyone feels about it. Thanks. 
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