Dear Prudence,
My mother’s 60th birthday is coming up. To celebrate, my stepfather Larry wants to take a family cruise composed of me, my sister Patrice, cousin, cousin’s spouse and I. He’s looking at booking a cruise in six months. Each family member would be expected to pay their own way.
I love my mother deeply, but the prospect of a family cruise fills me with dread. I have never gotten along with Larry. He makes a sport to bully people about their insecurities to make himself feel better. During Thanksgiving, he somehow managed to pick a unique fight with everyone in attendance. Larry harassed two couples about not having kids, called Patrice lazy for no reason, insulted a guest’s cooking, all in the course of one meal. Larry is also a massive complainer. No matter what happens, something is wrong. If you show up to an event early, Larry complains you’re inconveniencing the host. Arrive on time, you closed the door too loud, who raised you? Arrive late, everyone’s waiting for you, let’s move.
Larry plays off most of these things as “jokes” or “not that bad” if anyone tries to call him on it. My mother is rarely the target of these punchlines, so it appears to not have reached her notice. Patrice, another target of Larry’s, shares my opinion of him. Patrice has more money and vacation time than I do, so she’s likely to end up going on the cruise despite the irritation.
The thought of being stuck on a boat with Larry makes me want to push him overboard. I hate to picture spending money, vacation time, and airfare to try and relax with someone who fundamentally irritates me. On the other hand, my mother only turns 60 once, and it could be a chance to make memories.
— To Cruise or Not to Cruise