Dear Prudence,
Grief, stress, and hiding indoors for a year led me to gain significant weight in 2021. I understand that what’s medically considered overweight is way too extreme, and that many people my new size and much larger are happy, healthy, and gorgeous. However, I’m not feeling so good, and the cause of my recent gains were clearly the opposite of happiness and health. I’ve come to the difficult conclusion that I’d like to lose some weight. But I’m so wracked with guilt and fear about the idea. I really hate it when other people talk about or focus on weight loss. I know most weight loss programs and diets are ineffective and dangerous. And I feel so bad that it even matters to me—I don’t want to be that person. On top of it all, I struggled with disordered eating in my teens and early 20s; luckily it got better without anything very bad happening, but it’s still a tenuous relationship. I’m so afraid of triggering my old disordered habits and of generally buying into a cultural standard I don’t want any part of. At the same time, I feel like there’s a chance I’d be happier if I looked the way I did a year or two ago. Is there any way I can try this that isn’t a terrible, stupid idea?
— Losing Weight Baggage