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Classic: Buy her nothing then. Does she even get you anything?

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes
My sister is going to be visiting me and my family for the holidays, which is great.
However, she recently reminded me that I’d have to ship all of her gifts to her home because she doesn’t check luggage. I was really looking forward to her arrival, but this seemingly small issue has me simmering with resentment. Sure, she’s my little sister, but she is now in her 30s! My husband and I are both professionals with demanding jobs and little free time. Her refusal to check baggage because she doesn’t want to be inconvenienced at the airport has me steaming. She says that it shouldn’t make any difference that she doesn’t want to take her gifts on the plane because if she weren’t coming, I would have to ship them anyway. Her sense of entitlement is making me feel bah humbug! Am I wrong?
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Re: Classic: Buy her nothing then. Does she even get you anything?

  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    How many gifts are you buying for your 30+ year old sister that you need to ship them to her?  If you really can't go without spending money on this entitled shithead, give her a gift card. 

    But seriously, find a damn boundary. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Oh once the gift is yours it's up to you to figure out how to get it home.   If I ordered it online I would have paid for shipping once to your house.  I'm not paying twice.

    But seriously: GC.  
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    You are both creating a problem where none needs to exist. Get her a gift card or clothing/jewelry that will fit in her luggage. 
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  • flantasticflantastic member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    "If you don't want to check it in your luggage, the address for the nearest UPS store is ___"

    But yes the simplest solution is to get her nothing or something small. Not sure why you MUST buy large-sized gifts for your sister.
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Other than house things who over 20 gets large gifts!?
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yah you’re both being childish but I side with LW here unless you’re buying something that wouldn’t fit in a standard suitcase. There are so many ways to solved this but it sounds like you both want to be right and for the other to be wrong, regardless of the fact that there’s easy solutions that makes everyone happy. 
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  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    This is ridiculous on so many levels.  I see it's a classic bc my goodness, the way Covid has messed with the last two holiday seasons, can this please be everyone's problem?
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  • kerbohlkerbohl member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    See, if it was me my conversation would go "I'm not checking my bags, so I can't take gifts back with me.  So no need to get me anything this year".
    Also, if she is not checking a bag, that does seem to imply that she is not bringing gifts with her?  Or is she doing all her shopping once she gets there?

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  • missJeanLouisemissJeanLouise member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    As someone who buys everything for everyone online and has it shipped directly to their house, I don't understand why this is a big ask? Either get her something that fits in a carry-on or send it to her house. No big deal.
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    missJeanLouise said:
    As someone who buys everything for everyone online and has it shipped directly to their house, I don't understand why this is a big ask? Either get her something that fits in a carry-on or send it to her house. No big deal.
    I can understand the sister's request, but this is where how she phrased it probably makes a big difference in how the message was received.

    I had a similar worry when I got married, because our wedding was in my hometown which is about 1500 miles away from where I live.  All the guests knew that so I ((hoped)) that, if they got me physical gifts from my registry, they would send it directly to my house.  I had already planned that, if a gift was too cumbersome and not really worth the shipping, I was just going to leave it for my mom.

    FORTUNATELY, I think only two people gave me physical gifts at the wedding.  Everyone else gave cash or had shipped their gift to my house.  One of the physical gifts was small enough I brought it back in my suitcase (we did have one checked bag, plus carry ons).  The other one was a nice wooden, salad bowl with matching utensils.  My mom was mailing me back my wedding dress, lol.  And the salad bowl was small and light enough that she was able to include it in the same fairly large box.

    A little bit different situation because I certainly wasn't going to be insanely rude and tell a whole group of people, "Hey, y'all know I don't live here, so give me only cash."

    But I think telling one immediate family member something softer is fine, like, "Hey sis, I'm not planning to check a suitcase.  So, don't worry about getting me a Christmas gift unless it's something small or you're shipping it directly to my house."
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    short+sassy said:
    missJeanLouise said:
    As someone who buys everything for everyone online and has it shipped directly to their house, I don't understand why this is a big ask? Either get her something that fits in a carry-on or send it to her house. No big deal.
    I can understand the sister's request, but this is where how she phrased it probably makes a big difference in how the message was received.

    I had a similar worry when I got married, because our wedding was in my hometown which is about 1500 miles away from where I live.  All the guests knew that so I ((hoped)) that, if they got me physical gifts from my registry, they would send it directly to my house.  I had already planned that, if a gift was too cumbersome and not really worth the shipping, I was just going to leave it for my mom.

    FORTUNATELY, I think only two people gave me physical gifts at the wedding.  Everyone else gave cash or had shipped their gift to my house.  One of the physical gifts was small enough I brought it back in my suitcase (we did have one checked bag, plus carry ons).  The other one was a nice wooden, salad bowl with matching utensils.  My mom was mailing me back my wedding dress, lol.  And the salad bowl was small and light enough that she was able to include it in the same fairly large box.

    A little bit different situation because I certainly wasn't going to be insanely rude and tell a whole group of people, "Hey, y'all know I don't live here, so give me only cash."

    But I think telling one immediate family member something softer is fine, like, "Hey sis, I'm not planning to check a suitcase.  So, don't worry about getting me a Christmas gift unless it's something small or you're shipping it directly to my house."
    Right? 

    I would think the approach is really the problem and it's quite clear that this isn't the issue.  
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