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Wedding Woes

Classic: Is a conspiracy theorist a deal-breaker?

My cousin recently set me up on a date with a really great guy that she knew from work. At first, I was hesitant to go on a date with him as he is 43 and I am 27, however I decided to give him a chance and I was really glad I did. He’s smart, funny, and easy to hang out with. I am also very attracted to him physically. The only bad thing, so far, is that during a text conversation, he alluded to believing that 9/11 was an inside job. At first I thought he was joking, but further questions revealed that he was not. We discussed it in person the next time we met up, and he was joking about it with me but didn’t change his stance. Is this a deal breaker?

Re: Classic: Is a conspiracy theorist a deal-breaker?

  • It would be for me, but this is one LW needs to decide for themselves. 
  • Yea it’s a definite deal breaker
  • That would be a deal breaker for me. But LW needs to figure that out herself. Maybe she should ask what other conspiracies he believes in. Like, is he a Flat Eather too??  
  • Yes it's a deal breaker.  I couldn't be friends with someone who thought 9/11 was an inside job.   Nope out of that. 
  • This would absolutely be a deal breaker for me.
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  • LW, if you're asking, you already know the answer for you is yes, you just need some validation b/c you feel bad about it.  Hell yes, in this day and age, it's a dealbreaker.  

    Kinda same thing:  I went out with a woman I really was interested in for so many reasons.  As we're sitting chatting, I find out she's a Scientologist.  I didn't see her again after that.  She asked me why one time and (because of some other things involved), I just lied and said I wasn't looking for any sort of serious commitment, just fun, and she had made it clear she wanted a relationship.  I didn't want to offend her, but there was no way in hell I was dating a Scientologist.
  • I don't think one conspiracy theory would be a deal breaker for me, though that would depend on the conspiracy and I'd also at least listen to their POV/evidence.  But where there is one conspiracy theory someone believes in, there are usually others.  And it's hard to be in a relationship with someone where you are constantly rolling your eyes and think they're ignorant.

    On a lighter note, I read a funny "conspiracy theory" that Jeff Bezos is really 9 cats in a human suit.  And the real goal of Amazon is to widely distribute cardboard boxes all around the world.
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  • I don't think one conspiracy theory would be a deal breaker for me, though that would depend on the conspiracy and I'd also at least listen to their POV/evidence.  But where there is one conspiracy theory someone believes in, there are usually others.  And it's hard to be in a relationship with someone where you are constantly rolling your eyes and think they're ignorant.


    IMO It depends on the conspiracy theory:
    -Walt Disney is spinning cryogenically frozen under Cinderella's Castle?  Whatever.
    -If you think like the above person, or are in the zones of Sandy Hook was a false flag, JFK Jr is coming back and Hillary Clinton ran a child prostitution ring out of a pizza place's basement that does not exist (side note - their pizza's good!): No we can't be friends and I also can't take you seriously. 
  • I want to say yes but I mean what kind of conspiracy theories are we talking?
    I know it's mentioned about 9/11 being inside job but is that it? Are others harmless?

    Still likely a yes for me.
  • ei34 said:
    I want to say yes but I mean what kind of conspiracy theories are we talking?
    I know it's mentioned about 9/11 being inside job but is that it? Are others harmless?

    Still likely a yes for me.
    That'd be enough for me to never want to see that person or hear their name ever again.  The 9/11 and Sandy Hook doubters are down there with whatever your version of lowest of low is.  Run LW, run!
    Maybe it's being Canadian, but I'm not entirely familiar with 9/11 conspiracies - either idk anyone who thinks that or it's just not talked about
  • DH and I joke about how conspiracy theories used to be fun and now they have just been ruined by actual psychopaths. 
    What's your "fun" conspiracy theory? {I also have ones}
  • ei34 said:
    I want to say yes but I mean what kind of conspiracy theories are we talking?
    I know it's mentioned about 9/11 being inside job but is that it? Are others harmless?

    Still likely a yes for me.
    That'd be enough for me to never want to see that person or hear their name ever again.  The 9/11 and Sandy Hook doubters are down there with whatever your version of lowest of low is.  Run LW, run!
    Maybe it's being Canadian, but I'm not entirely familiar with 9/11 conspiracies - either idk anyone who thinks that or it's just not talked about
    There are people who think it was an inside job, that we actually took out our own planes or that there were bombs involved.  


  • ei34 said:
    I want to say yes but I mean what kind of conspiracy theories are we talking?
    I know it's mentioned about 9/11 being inside job but is that it? Are others harmless?

    Still likely a yes for me.
    That'd be enough for me to never want to see that person or hear their name ever again.  The 9/11 and Sandy Hook doubters are down there with whatever your version of lowest of low is.  Run LW, run!
    This is exactly how I feel. I mean, if someone is just into kind of harmless conspiracy theories like Walt Disney being frozen (good example,@banana468!) then that wouldn't be a deal breaker for me unless they talked about it all the time and it got really annoying. But the 9/11 and Sandy Hook conspiracy theories are downright obnoxious and cruel ones that dismiss people's suffering and grief. Anyone who started going on about those would not get any more dates out of me.
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  • DH and I joke about how conspiracy theories used to be fun and now they have just been ruined by actual psychopaths. 
    Yes! H loves to jump on the fun ones. It's been 10 years and he'll still run under an overhang if we're outside and there's a jet with trails overhead, because they're dropping mind control chemicals!
  • banana468 said:
    ei34 said:
    I want to say yes but I mean what kind of conspiracy theories are we talking?
    I know it's mentioned about 9/11 being inside job but is that it? Are others harmless?

    Still likely a yes for me.
    That'd be enough for me to never want to see that person or hear their name ever again.  The 9/11 and Sandy Hook doubters are down there with whatever your version of lowest of low is.  Run LW, run!
    Maybe it's being Canadian, but I'm not entirely familiar with 9/11 conspiracies - either idk anyone who thinks that or it's just not talked about
    There are people who think it was an inside job, that we actually took out our own planes or that there were bombs involved.  


    Thanks, I wasn't totally sure what that meant either, though that was my assumption.

    But that's actually what I mean.  I would at least listen to someone's POV on that and why they think it.  Of course, I personally don't believe that and it sounds ridiculous, but it also doesn't sound as far-fetched to me as it does to most people.

    I wouldn't put it past the US government to do something that shitty, if they thought it had some benefit to them.  Sadly, the only preposterous part of that conspiracy theory to me is the "reasons" the US government would do it are far outweighed by the reasons they wouldn't.  It's not because I don't believe some politicians and our systems aren't capable of that kind of evil.  They absolutely are.

    We'll never know even a fraction of the horrific things the US has done, both to its people and to the world we live in.  Most people don't even make a fuss, and I unfortunately include myself in that, with the outrageous things we DO KNOW that the US and it's politicians perpetrate against its citizens.
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  • banana468 said:
    ei34 said:
    I want to say yes but I mean what kind of conspiracy theories are we talking?
    I know it's mentioned about 9/11 being inside job but is that it? Are others harmless?

    Still likely a yes for me.
    That'd be enough for me to never want to see that person or hear their name ever again.  The 9/11 and Sandy Hook doubters are down there with whatever your version of lowest of low is.  Run LW, run!
    Maybe it's being Canadian, but I'm not entirely familiar with 9/11 conspiracies - either idk anyone who thinks that or it's just not talked about
    There are people who think it was an inside job, that we actually took out our own planes or that there were bombs involved.  
    Oh that's kinda what I assumed but wasn't sure.

    That's just ... weird. Why t.f would people do that? Like I don't see a basis of reasoning.
  • banana468 said:
    ei34 said:
    I want to say yes but I mean what kind of conspiracy theories are we talking?
    I know it's mentioned about 9/11 being inside job but is that it? Are others harmless?

    Still likely a yes for me.
    That'd be enough for me to never want to see that person or hear their name ever again.  The 9/11 and Sandy Hook doubters are down there with whatever your version of lowest of low is.  Run LW, run!
    Maybe it's being Canadian, but I'm not entirely familiar with 9/11 conspiracies - either idk anyone who thinks that or it's just not talked about
    There are people who think it was an inside job, that we actually took out our own planes or that there were bombs involved.  
    Oh that's kinda what I assumed but wasn't sure.

    That's just ... weird. Why t.f would people do that? Like I don't see a basis of reasoning.
    Similarly why would there be nationwide coverage of a shooting at an elementary school, town leaders discussing the adult educators lost that day, emergency workers talking about their response efforts and continued remembrance at the local level if it was a false flag? 

    I think there are people who do not want to face the reality that they are dealt so they come up with and buy into an alternative theory that fits their belief better.  
  • For those who like the silly conspiracy stuff (and I do as well), the Netlifx series Inside Job is a hilarious send up of this stuff.
  • VarunaTT said:
    For those who like the silly conspiracy stuff (and I do as well), the Netlifx series Inside Job is a hilarious send up of this stuff.
    I started that show and it was so funny.  I just fell off (like I've been doing with a lot things lately). I should pick it back up. 

    Don't Look Up doesn't really directly go after conspiracy theories, but it definitely lampoons how dumb collective society can be, especially people who go with one show/channel and do no additional research or seeking of other sources.  OR only seek out the sources that agree with the original source or idea they have in the first place. 
  • I deeply enjoyed the "Tupac is still alive" conspiracy theory of the late 90's/early aughts. 

    But yeah, the MAGA/Trumpists/Alex Jones/et al ruined conspiracy theories for me.  
  • Oh!  And Elvis was alive through my childhood.  He was seen everywhere.

    Also Bigfoot.  As a kid I wondered about seeing Bigfoot and the Lochness monster.  

    Bonus points if they were going to be seen together duking it out in the lake.  
  • banana468 said:
    ei34 said:
    I want to say yes but I mean what kind of conspiracy theories are we talking?
    I know it's mentioned about 9/11 being inside job but is that it? Are others harmless?

    Still likely a yes for me.
    That'd be enough for me to never want to see that person or hear their name ever again.  The 9/11 and Sandy Hook doubters are down there with whatever your version of lowest of low is.  Run LW, run!
    Maybe it's being Canadian, but I'm not entirely familiar with 9/11 conspiracies - either idk anyone who thinks that or it's just not talked about
    There are people who think it was an inside job, that we actually took out our own planes or that there were bombs involved.  
    Oh that's kinda what I assumed but wasn't sure.

    That's just ... weird. Why t.f would people do that? Like I don't see a basis of reasoning.
    I'm with you - as a Canadian I don't really get the conspiracies either.  

    We have the conspiracy that Justin Trudeau is actually the son of Fidel Castro.  

    There are some interesting horse racing conspiracies.  I'll ignore that Bob Baffert stuff because what is going on with that is really sad, but the whole Phar Lap thing is bizarre.  People trying to kill him once he came to America, and then he mysteriously dies young, was it actually natural causes ....OH!  Or the Toronto Maple Leaf conspiracy, that there was a curse on the team.  Sport conspiracies are the bee's knees.

  • kerbohl said:
    banana468 said:
    ei34 said:
    I want to say yes but I mean what kind of conspiracy theories are we talking?
    I know it's mentioned about 9/11 being inside job but is that it? Are others harmless?

    Still likely a yes for me.
    That'd be enough for me to never want to see that person or hear their name ever again.  The 9/11 and Sandy Hook doubters are down there with whatever your version of lowest of low is.  Run LW, run!
    Maybe it's being Canadian, but I'm not entirely familiar with 9/11 conspiracies - either idk anyone who thinks that or it's just not talked about
    There are people who think it was an inside job, that we actually took out our own planes or that there were bombs involved.  
    Oh that's kinda what I assumed but wasn't sure.

    That's just ... weird. Why t.f would people do that? Like I don't see a basis of reasoning.
    I'm with you - as a Canadian I don't really get the conspiracies either.  

    We have the conspiracy that Justin Trudeau is actually the son of Fidel Castro.  

    There are some interesting horse racing conspiracies.  I'll ignore that Bob Baffert stuff because what is going on with that is really sad, but the whole Phar Lap thing is bizarre.  People trying to kill him once he came to America, and then he mysteriously dies young, was it actually natural causes ....OH!  Or the Toronto Maple Leaf conspiracy, that there was a curse on the team.  Sport conspiracies are the bee's knees.
    Whoa, never heard that one before!!!
    image
  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited January 2022
    The 16yr age gap combined with the "If you have to ask..." doubt on any topic at this point until you really get to know him, is LW - be friends not lovers for now...  NSJS Conspiracy theorists run a spectrum, and there's cray-cray to skeptics to cynics to beyond.  Some are just great at questioning in a loop thoughts and processes.  This is a get to know the guy a bit more and is it a questioning beliefs or is it you must believe whatever conspiracy, etc. he does because that can bring its own problems to the table for a relationship in the broader sense.  
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