Wedding Party

How to include my best friends who aren’t BM?!

I’m having 5 people in my bridal party (co MOH are BFF since 13, 1 BM has been our BFF for 5 years, 2 BM are my sisters). These people are very special to me. However, I have 2 best friends who live in the same city as me and have become like family to me since COVID (we basically quarantined together). I really want to involve them in our wedding and will ask them to get dressed with me on the morning, etc. 

I thought about asking them to be adult flower girls bc they would live to hype up the crowd, but I’ve read a lot of things online that say they will probably be upset and angry to be given this role…

Has anyone been in a situation like this before?? Any other creatives ideas?? I know I’m very lucky to have so many amazing, caring people in my life and want them all to feel loved!

Re: How to include my best friends who aren’t BM?!

  • Being invited to the wedding is an honor as well. You can include them in your bachelorette party if someone has offered to give one for you. Personally, I wouldn't want to get dressed with the bridal party if I wasn't a member of the party but if that is something that you know they would want to do, ask them. Do not ask them to be adult flower girls.
  • Adult flower girl is pretty demeaning imo.  Can you not just ask them to be bridesmaids?   I also would not be interested in getting ready with the bridal party if I was not part of it - because I would think if bride wanted me around that much she would have just asked me to be part of the wedding. If you think it's too late, just let them come to the wedding as guests.  
  • I’m having 5 people in my bridal party (co MOH are BFF since 13, 1 BM has been our BFF for 5 years, 2 BM are my sisters). These people are very special to me. However, I have 2 best friends who live in the same city as me and have become like family to me since COVID (we basically quarantined together). I really want to involve them in our wedding and will ask them to get dressed with me on the morning, etc. 

    I thought about asking them to be adult flower girls bc they would live to hype up the crowd, but I’ve read a lot of things online that say they will probably be upset and angry to be given this role…

    Has anyone been in a situation like this before?? Any other creatives ideas?? I know I’m very lucky to have so many amazing, caring people in my life and want them all to feel loved!
    I'm not sure I understand why you wouldn't ask them to be bridesmaids. You call them best friends, why wouldn't you? 

    Anyway, there's no role for runner up bridesmaid. Adult flower girl and made up roles will come off demeaning or insulting. If you aren't close enough to ask them to be bridesmaids, that's fine, just leave it alone and let them attend as guests. 
  • One of my sisters had seven BP members (other sis and I were co-MOHs, and five friends from different parts of life as BMs).  If these two friends are truly nearest and dearest just make them BMs.  
    Only twice (when my two sisters got married and the getting ready location was our parents' house) did I get ready with the bride.  I don't personally understand why this is a thing, I've always just gotten ready and met up with the bride/BP at the ceremony or pre-ceremony photo spot.  I acknowledge that could be a UO, but I don't see the honor in getting dressed together.  
  • Why don't you just ask them to be bridesmaids if you are that close? If you are concerned about even sides in the wedding party, don't be. It's very common for there to be more people on the bride's side than the groom's side, or vice versa. No one will notice or care (if I'm really honest, I could not tell you for most weddings I've been to how many people were standing up on each side). 

    If for whatever reason you don't want to ask them to be bridesmaids, just invite them to the wedding as guests and make sure they are on the guest list for wedding-related events. Do not ask them to be adult flower girls - that's just a weird and kind of insulting consolation prize. I think it's fine to ask them to get ready with you and the bridesmaids the day of, but don't be surprised or offended if they decline. Some people may feel funny getting ready with the wedding party if they're not in it, and some people (like me) also don't really care for getting ready for an event with a bunch of other people around.

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  • I would either ask these best friends to be bridesmaids or readers. Alternatively, you can just invite them as guests and welcome them at wedding-related side events. Maybe you can take some special photos with them. But I would not ask them to be adult flower girls. 
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