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Not the point, but what kind of online group is it?

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I was online talking with a group of people, and they were all saying how they were in AP classes and honor classes in high school. I was just an average student and suddenly I felt really stupid—like, embarrassed by how dumb I am. How do I get past that feeling of being less than everyone else and feeling bad about myself, even if it’s true?

— Feeling Stupid

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Re: Not the point, but what kind of online group is it?

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    banana468banana468 member
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    Just because you weren't in a certain level in HS is not a sign of where you are as an adult.  Consider if this is a group that is or is not a good fit though. 
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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    Are you in college? If so none of this will matter in a few years. If not? Who cares what you did or did not during high school? 
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    downtondivadowntondiva member
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    Being an average student doesn't make you dumb - and besides, there are different kinds of smart and different things people are good at. Don't let these people make you feel insecure.

    I don't know how old you are, but if you are more than halfway through college, trust me, none of what classes you did or didn't take in high school really matters at this point.
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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    Also to add- if these online friends are making LW feel bad for not having taken AP classes then screw them, they’re not your people. Anyone who holds that much stock in a damn high school AP course (or even college degree) clearly doesn’t care about who you are as a person. 
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    banana468banana468 member
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    The other thing that's come up and has for years (I studied it briefly in a Womens Studies class in college) is how many people who may test well but in application do not do well.

    This is a frequent issue with STEM and businesses courted female graduates to their engineering roles.   They were looking to diversify their workforce AND women were better performers academically.  Once they reached the workplace men were better performers due to their better understanding of practical application and the college programs were based on the text but not necessarily an understanding of mechanics. 

    DH is intelligent and has also performed fine academically but was not as good in his engineering classes as the women in his class.  However several classmates ultimately opted to change careers (most moving to science-education) because they realized that the engineering role itself wasn't a good fit and for the men, the on site fit was better.

    And then there are careers that are not on a job path in a lot of high schools that require technical training.  No one cares how well you did in AP history if you're in my house to fix my boiler or electrical panel.  I need to know that you're licensed and my sh!t won't literally blow up. 
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    levioosalevioosa member
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    edited February 2022
    I think the only time I’ve mentioned my AP classes as an adult were to test out of college courses and the (very) few times I’ve mentioned in passing how amazing my AP US History teacher was and how I wish everyone had access to a teacher that was super engaged and committed to developing critical thinking skills instead of regurgitated facts.

    *I should also note I was privileged enough to be an environment where my teacher was able to teach in her style while still hitting required course materials. 


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    banana468banana468 member
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    levioosa said:
    I think the only time I’ve mentioned my AP classes as an adult were to test out of college courses and the (very) few times I’ve mentioned in passing how amazing my AP US History teacher was and how I wish everyone had access to a teacher that was super engaged and committed to developing critical thinking skills instead of regurgitated facts.

    *I should also note I was privileged enough to be an environment where my teacher was able to teach in her style while still hitting required course materials. 
    I remember when Seth Meyers actually talked about one of his HS teachers and how impactful he was and how saddened he was by his death.  As life would have it, several of DH's cousins had the same teacher (they were all from the same town) and on FB they also commented what a great teacher he was.  

    There are still a few that have an impact with me 20+ years out of HS. 
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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    The LW doesn't say anything about the other people saying something about their lack of AP classes.  I think this letter is only about the LW's feelings about it.  It sounds like they are an insecure person, overall.  Hopefully, with age and experience, they will also find confidence.  Therapy might also be helpful with the inner self-bashing.
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