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Wedding Woes

Our favorite day, Thursday

Thursday Thursday.  Come to an end!

I’m not understanding my good friends.  We e-mail each other daily (there’s 3 others in our email geoup) and tell each other everything.  Last night was date #3 with the okcupid guy.  I said I was on the fence about him. But last night I saw some humor and personality and I like him. Although I felt bad because I made a bad joke about changing an answer (it was trivia) and said “oh. i don’t know what the answer is.  I just like to argue”. Which I actually don’t like to.  Hence why I said it.  He said “I hope not!” And then I remembered why he got his divorce.  His ex was mean and verbally abusive and had anger issues. So I told my friends “d’oh! Coulda kicked myself. Wrong audience”.
My one friend said “it’s just a date”
I was confused by that comment. I said  “right. But what does that mean? i’m allowed to say triggers because it’s just a date?”
Then she said “I mean it's just a date. There's no pressure if it doesn't work because you don't have to marry him”.
I still don’t know where she’s coming from? I just wrote back “correct” to her/them because I don’t want to draw this out any further (see? I HATE arguing) but is she womansplaining dates to me? I know it was one.  I was on it. I also know it may take a few of them to see where you want things to go, which this one did. I had to re-read what I wrote.  No where did I say I drove home, went online, and registered with my County for a marriage certificate…. 🙄 

Re: Our favorite day, Thursday

  • @CharmedPam, maybe she was just trying to be all, "don't get too in your head about; everyone sticks their foot in it sometimes?" (way better answers, IMO).   But saying "it's just a date" is very dismissive and it sucks she doubled down.  
  • @CharmedPam maybe she meant it like “don’t be too hard on yourself, it was a date and you’re still getting to know each other.” And then doubling down to explain what she meant just came off wrong. 

    Seven more days of work left. So close. I am hiking tonight with FSIL A and FSIL B and am a little apprehensive. FSIL B is just a lot sometimes. And FBIL B has been up to some shenanigans and has been bashing us to everyone who will listen and has been telling her that we’re shit talking her all the time. Which we don’t. Occasionally we vent but only after something crazy or shitty has been done. I’m just sick of FBIL B and how toxic he is. 


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  • I had a sort of a similar friend situation last year with one of my very close friends, and it still bugs me. But her comments to me were the opposite - admit you're in a relationship, why are you keeping this a secret (I wasn't, she made wild assumptions). I still don't understand why she was so bothered by my not putting a label on what N and I were last summer. I went so far as to remind her that I was still trying to heal from my abusive marriage and disaster of a divorce. I ended up pulling back quite a bit from my friendship with her because of it. 

    I'm so ready for this week to be over already. I was supposed to go see my nephew this weekend, but now we're maybe getting a storm on Saturday? Who knows. We got snow yesterday and omg can winter just be done now!?!?
  • @Pam, sounds to me like that comment was more about her than you. Is she single/dating? Maybe snippy out of her own frustration about something? 

    Happy for Thursday! Nothing much going on, but it's been a busy week and I'm tired. I finally have a morning free of meetings but have to spend it on a meticulous piece of work. I think I'd rather be in meetings. I don't know what happened, but my ability to concentrate on stuff like this has gone to hell. 
  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Fingers crossed on foster-hopefully-adoptive nephew @mrsconn23
    @CharmedPam yeah I'm not following your friend.  Whether you're on a date or seriously dating or engaged/married, it's always nice to be kind/considerate of others' feelings.  (Which it sounds like you were!)

    One of our seniors was killed in a car accident yesterday driving home from school.  Today is totally about grief counseling and helping students cope.  
  • Yeah maybe… that’s why my last e-mail was “correct”. But she also wrote “it’s just a date with a smiley face - and not an empji one but the old fashioned : )”
    which I saw as condescending….

    @mrsconn23 I use these and love them.  Just some subtle heat,and when I take them off after 8 hours, I do notice some relief (it’s amazon of course);
    https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07B9F5HNH/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_PCB9A06HV0NF7MW803CF?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
    hopefully your boss saw some initiation and it all goes uphill for you!

    7 days will fly by @levioosa! Woohoo. I know you said your covering for someone but hopefully it’s a less stressful 7 days left

  • Oh @ei34 I’m so sorry. How awful for you and your students. 
  • That’s horrible @ei34. I’m so sorry. 


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  • Oh no @ei34.  That's so awful and tragic. 
  • @climbingsingle I get you.  It may take a while to establish a relationship OR some people establish one quickly. Everyone is different and why do your friends need the label or title? He’s someone you’re seeing and he makes you happy.  There.  There’s the label. 

    Oh @ei34 that’s awful, sorry to hear that

  • @ei34 Oh my god, how awful and tragic. 
  • @mrsconn23,rooting for things to go smoothly with your nephew's adoption and termination of his bio mom's rights.  I'm glad the review with your boss went so well.  Sounds like it was a "@mrsconn23 is so awesome and such a valuable employee, that we're just going to chit-chat for her review," lol.

    @ei34,I'm sorry to hear about the student at your school.  Fatal car accidents are especially devastating, because it's so unexpected.

    More training today, but we are just finishing up a few things for the week, so it should be lighter/less time.

    Doh!  I'm trying to decide what to do after work.  Normally, it's my main Costco scanning day, so my H and I don't have too much to finish tomorrow.  But my local real estate investing group is having a cocktail hour.  The guest speaker will be talking about purchasing properties "subject to", aka seller financing.

    I don't necessarily want to purchase properties that way, but we are about to put up the only single, family house I own for rent.  I have been sorely tempted to also advertise it as a seller-financing, if someone is potentially interested in purchasing it.  Ugh, I had to meant to read up more on this strategy before we are days away from putting it up for rent, lol.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Thanks everyone.  Jeez I'm really bringing the gloom to our threads the last couple of days.  
  • I'm watching a Hallmark-esque movie on a different network and the lead actress is a "professional bridesmaid". In describing her job she says she helps brides with all of the duties of the MOH when their bridal party lives far away.  However in the movie she is 100% a wedding planner, but they keep calling her a bridesmaid and I'm rolling my eyes so hard at it and I thought you'd all get a laugh out of it too.  The whole premise is she does it for free and just asks for charity donations, so why don't just be a "free" wedding planner
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