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Arranging the kids during the ceremony

knottie1514c617a74c873bknottie1514c617a74c873b newb
in Second Weddings
Hi. This will be a second marriage for us both and we both have basically adult children. His are 18, 22,23. Mine are 19 and 21. We agree that we want our kids in the ceremony with us. But, I really want my children to stand with me, of course meaning his would stand with him. He is concerned that that gives an “us vs them” feeling to the whole thing. For me, I feel like shuffling my son to his side makes it seem like my son is my second best child- and then the same for his girls. I see both viewpoints…and kinda think the whole thing is being overthought. But I would love to hear what others think. Thanks! 
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Re: Arranging the kids during the ceremony

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    levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    knottie1514c617a74c873b said:
    Hi. This will be a second marriage for us both and we both have basically adult children. His are 18, 22,23. Mine are 19 and 21. We agree that we want our kids in the ceremony with us. But, I really want my children to stand with me, of course meaning his would stand with him. He is concerned that that gives an “us vs them” feeling to the whole thing. For me, I feel like shuffling my son to his side makes it seem like my son is my second best child- and then the same for his girls. I see both viewpoints…and kinda think the whole thing is being overthought. But I would love to hear what others think. Thanks! 
    Do they even want to be part of the bridal party? Why do they need to be up there at all? 


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    MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2022
    I would ask them first and foremost for their thoughts. 

    You are definitely overthinking this.  These aren't young children who will necessarily be co-parented by your husband, so the unity/blended family concept is a bit more "loose".

    If they process up "one side" versus the other, they could leave together by meeting in the middle and leaving the ceremony more "blended".  At the start of the ceremony, adults 18, 22, and 23 could process up to the side of the groom, followed by adults 19 and 21 processing up to the side of the bride.  The bride then follows her children.  At the end of the ceremony, adults 18 and 19 could process out together, followed by adults 21, 22, and 23.
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