Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Woes
Wedding Woes
New Discussion
Options

Find some puppy classes.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

Like so many people, and very much against my advice, my partner decided to get a dog during the global health crisis. Now, nearly 18 months later, they have a pet that has never been properly socialized, yaps constantly when introduced to new people, is extremely needy, cannot be around other animals, and is freaked out by everything. My partner feels that they cannot travel, have guests over and is constantly struggling to find pet care when they have to go to the office. They’re constantly stressed and that’s putting stress on our relationship. I would like to persuade them to give up this dog—I don’t think they’re doing it any favors, and I think the weight of caring for it is creating more stress then they can cope with, which is feeding into a vicious circle—but I don’t know how to start that conversation or even whether it is truly in the best interests of either of them. Am I just being selfish? Would it be cruel to abandon this poor dog? Am I wrong to feel a little resentful that my advice was ignored, even when I have been proven right?

— The Doggone Worst

Report Reply to Post

Re: Find some puppy classes.

  • Options
    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Why is the answer to quit the commitment rather than figure out how to make it work?  Why is LW thinking that they can commit to the partner but the partner needs to revert back to how things are? 

    This is not speaking well of the LW's ability to change or problem solve either.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Like pandemic kids, LW & spouse need to find places they can socialize doggy.
    I know some dog park areas near me have times they can set up to socialize new dogs. Puppy classes
    Report Reply
  • Options
    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I think the LW doesn’t like the dog. Jumping immediately to giving it up seems extreme. Get a trainer first. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    It sounds like the LW doesn't live with their partner or this would have been a joint decision.  As such, it feels like major overstepping to tell their partner to get rid of the dog.

    Not to mention, skipping the first logical step of the SO doing some training with the dog so that it can get better socialized with other people and animals.  I know it can depend on the animal, but this seems like something pretty normal and attainable to achieve.  Or at least an improvement.

    We adopted our dog when she was 18 months old.  She was already friendly with people and other animals, so it wasn't that, but she did have a number of issues we had to work with her on.  I'm not saying this is the case for all dogs, but it wasn't that hard and we didn't even need to use a trainer.

    One of the great things about dogs is they usually have a desire to please their owner.  And are also usually food motivated.  This makes them fairly amenable to training.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I think LW should remove themself from this relationship. They’ve discussed the issue with their partner. Their partner doesn’t want to take action to address this issue the way LW would like. Just break up. You’re not compatible. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    "Would it be cruel to push my partner to dump a pet so that I can say 'I told you so'?" 

    It sounds like the partner is a first time dog owner, so probably needs help from a trainer to at least get started. It doesn't have to be expensive or a huge production. The humane society has group classes for cheap. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    This kind of situation really gets to me. Dogs (pets) aren't disposable! If LW doesn't want to be in a relationship with the partner because of the dog, leave. Don't try to get partner to give up the dog. Training and socialization can go a long way in solving the problems. We ended up adopting a grown dog (vet guesstimated she was 1 when we found her). She was aggressive towards men but fine with women and children. We took her to training and spent a lot of time with her. She ended up being a great pet. It just took time and patience.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    kerbohlkerbohl member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    People are still dumping their pandemic bought pets.  It makes me so disenchanted with the human race.  Having a pet is a life commitment - if it isn't working out, you have to do everything you can to accomodate that animal.  And yes, there are some situations where giving up the pet is the right answer, but this isn't one of them.  I just don't get it, I really don't.  My dog annoys me all the time, but I'm not giving her up, I find ways to cope.  Yeah, it sucks to not be able to travel at the drop of a hat, but thems the breaks.  I owe it to my animal to sacrifice a little to give her a stable home.  
    And if my partner ever asked me to give up one of the rabbits, I'm giving up the partner.  

    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards