Wedding Woes

I want to blast into my past

Dear Prudence,

I’m a 43-year-old man and recently began my teaching career. I was a late-in-life college student and earned my degree at 38. Teaching these students made me wonder about those I went to school with who I lost contact with. A little background: I went to four different high schools in three states and discovered through research I had a 30 percent chance of dropping out, but never thought of doing that. I have a single yearbook from my graduating year, but never got a book for grades 9-to-11. I decided to do research and received one from my junior year, and I’m waiting on information for my freshman and sophomore year. I thought about what everyone is doing and thought of doing a YouTube series about where they are. However, I’m torn. I have not told my partner my plan yet because he thinks I like to be the center or main character of activities, and I’m trying to move away from that because I don’t like others feeling they don’t matter. I know this would center on me as the person who went to all these schools, but I want to use it as a platform for them to express where they have gone in life. Let them tell their stories, and see the different paths people travel after school. I’m documenting a list of students from my senior and junior year, and I’m still really good friends with students I went to school with, but I want to make contact with some I haven’t seen since high school. I think I am looking for advice to know if this is a healthy endeavor or if I should leave the past in the past.

— Journey to the Past

Re: I want to blast into my past

  • LW's partner sucks.


  • If this is a passion project the LW has, I don't see any harm in it.  I'd think many of the people he went to school with would be interested in either telling their own story and/or watching other classmate's videos.

    As long as the LW isn't obnoxious with their contact.  As in, contact people once.  Only once.  Don't bother them again, if they don't reply back or take any action.

    Because, while I can recognize a lot of people like this kind of stuff, I am not one of them.  I wouldn't participate.  I probably wouldn't watch his YouTube channel that had other people's videos.

    But I would definitely be annoyed if some random guy...that I probably wouldn't remember if he only went to my school for one year...kept bugging me on FB or whatever to leave a video/subscribe to his channel.

    ----------------------

    Speaking of.  My college has been sending 1-2 postcards/week for the last couple months to call a 1-866 phone number and leave my "Oral History" and update my information.

    A quote from the postcard, "It's critically important to talk with each CSUSM alumnus/a."

    "Critically important".  LMAO.

    I do plan to do it sometime.  It's sitting on my desk at work, hence why I could quote it, lol.  But the more postcards they bombard me with, the more salty I get about it.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I don't think I'd respond much less participate in this if a random classmate reached out.  But, LW should go for it if they want.
  • This isn't something I'd participate in. Especially if it was someone that attended my school for a year. Is he only reaching out to people he was friends with? Or everyone in the class? 

    It does seem weird to me to want to do this considering social media platforms that are available. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm in numerous FB groups related to my high school. I can see where everyone ended up..haha. And I'm already FB friends with the people I care to keep up with. I don't know. It just seems odd to me. 
  • I am 40 and talk to, like, one person from HS and that's BFF/SIL.  I have a FB relationship with anyone else I went to HS with.  I also went to 2 HS's.  I am FB friends with 2-3 people from that HS. I have no idea if anyone else from that HS even remembers me because I was literally in that school district for 3 years.  So I'm definitely team 'I wouldn't respond'. 

    However, the side issue of the lack of support from the partner is the bigger issue here.  I think there's a way to be gentle with your partner, but to basically tell them they have 'main character' energy and always center themselves is really rude and hurtful. 
  • Your partner sucks LW. 


  • I agree that LW's partner is a jerk, but I will also say that I would find it very odd if someone I'd only gone to school with for a year reached out to me asking for my life story, and I almost definitely wouldn't participate in this project LW is planning. I went to the same high school for all 4 years, and even with that, I'd be taken aback if someone I never knew well contacted me for something like this. I'd still have to think about it. 

    That said, if LW really has their heart set on giving this a try, they should, as there isn't anything inherently wrong with it. But they should also be prepared for people not to remember them, or to not be interested for a whole variety of reasons. It does feel like LW is trying to recreate some sort of high school experience they never had, and before they embark on this, they need to be okay with the fact that sometimes, your experiences just aren't going to be like other people's.
    image
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards