How to handle father of groom & girlfriend?

Re: How to handle father of groom & girlfriend?

• banana468 member

  

  June 2022

  I would present two options to your dad:
  -GF is escorted down the aisle by an usher at the beginning of the procession or by him.
  
  I am sympathetic that his GF is bigoted and rude to your family but she's part of the social unit of your dad.  It doesn't cost a lot of time or money to give her a (small) corsage and let her walk down the aisle.  And if you don't - you'll hear FAR more about it. 

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• climbingsingle member

  

  June 2022

  knottieed3c94ccb55dee6b said:

  I am the groom in our soon-to-be wedding and I have a question on the best way to get my father and his girlfriend down the aisle and seated. My father has a long-time girlfriend that none of the family likes and my fiance and I have had many problems with. She has said very rude things about my fiance, stirred drama, and mentioned she does not want my fiance & her family to be associated with my family solely because my fiance's parents are two women. Needless to say, we have no desire to honor her at our wedding and I absolutely refuse to escort her down the aisle because one, we do not have that kind of relationship, two, I will not honor someone who has said such rude and hurtful things about my fiance and her family and three, I will not put on a fake front that we have some close relationship in front of my family and our guests who know my true feelings about her solely to appease her wishes. My question is how do I deal with this when it comes to walking down our families before the ceremony? I will be escorting down my mother, my fiance's grandmother, my fiance's stepmother, and my fiance's parent who is not walking her down the aisle. In my ideal world, I would like my parents to walk down together as the parents of the groom with my father's girlfriend already seated beforehand by an usher, and my mother is okay with that plan but I think my father will reject the idea when I bring it up to him, as he feels she should be "honored" and "acknowledged" at our wedding the same way as our actual mothers are. They even went as far as to think that her name should've been our invites like our parents' names are.... wtf lol. If he does reject my plan what should be my alternative? Have him escort her down the aisle alone? Have an usher escort them down the aisle? Have them seated together before the ceremony even begins? I'm at a loss as to what to do and I don't want there to be any conflict but to bite our tongue and me escort her down would go against what my fiance & I's true wishes are. Any suggestions? Thanks!

  I think what you have planned is the best way to deal with this. Have her seated by an usher. And I agree 100% that if she's a homophobe who has disrespected the bride and her parents, she doesn't get to be honored at the wedding. 
  
  And I wouldn't even give your dad multiple options. If he doesn't agree, then I'd remove him from the procession and have him and his girlfriend seated before the ceremony starts. 

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  June 2022

  I would have her walk down with your dad just before the processional, or have her seated by an usher. 
  
  I don't think I'd ask your parents to walk together if they're no longer together. Nothing to do with the GF; it's just kind of odd to ask them to walk in as if they were still a couple. 

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• MobKaz member

  

  June 2022

  I would have your father escort his GF into their seats and both remain seated.
  I also would have a small token by way of a wrist corsage or single stem flower for GF.  It literally is the least you can do and it will offset the expected and bigger drama that could occur by not having something. 
  If merely processing into the wedding is creating this much drama and stress,  I would additionally suggest you and your FI have a lock solid plan when it comes to photos that day as well!
  

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