Verbiage when my Step-father gives me away.

Re: Verbiage when my Step-father gives me away.

• MobKaz member

  

  June 2022

  abonjione said:

  My father passed away in 2017 and my mother was going to give me away at my wedding but she passed away a few weeks ago from cancer. I am having my step-father give me away so I wasn't sure what question/verbiage should be used to "give me away". I know typically its "My wife and I" or "Her mother and I". Any thoughts, my officiant is asking me what I want to do and I am at a loss. Please help. Thank you in advance. 

  I’m sorry for your losses.  Is there any way you could simply remove this question/tradition from your ceremony?

  
  

  Your step dad could respond, “It is my honor, on behalf of her mother, to present the bride today”.

  Report0 Reply
• Jen4948 member

  

  June 2022

  MobKaz said:

  abonjione said:

  My father passed away in 2017 and my mother was going to give me away at my wedding but she passed away a few weeks ago from cancer. I am having my step-father give me away so I wasn't sure what question/verbiage should be used to "give me away". I know typically its "My wife and I" or "Her mother and I". Any thoughts, my officiant is asking me what I want to do and I am at a loss. Please help. Thank you in advance. 

  I’m sorry for your losses.  Is there any way you could simply remove this question/tradition from your ceremony?

  
  

  Your step dad could respond, “It is my honor, on behalf of her mother, to present the bride today”.

  I would not say "on behalf of her mother." I think your stepdad should just say "I am" in response to this question and let it go at that. 
  
  There are several other appropriate ways you can honor your parents' memories at your wedding.

  Report0 Reply
• MobKaz member

  

  June 2022

  Jen4948 said:

  MobKaz said:

  abonjione said:

  My father passed away in 2017 and my mother was going to give me away at my wedding but she passed away a few weeks ago from cancer. I am having my step-father give me away so I wasn't sure what question/verbiage should be used to "give me away". I know typically its "My wife and I" or "Her mother and I". Any thoughts, my officiant is asking me what I want to do and I am at a loss. Please help. Thank you in advance. 

  I’m sorry for your losses.  Is there any way you could simply remove this question/tradition from your ceremony?

  
  

  Your step dad could respond, “It is my honor, on behalf of her mother, to present the bride today”.

  I would not say "on behalf of her mother." I think your stepdad should just say "I am" in response to this question and let it go at that. 
  
  There are several other appropriate ways you can honor your parents' memories at your wedding.

  I offered the suggestion since the OP made it clear it was her mother that had planned to "give her away".  On behalf simply indicates step dad is fulfilling the role of, and representing, OP's mother.  The quick response is not meant to be a memorialization of her mom, but rather an honest and appropriate response to a simple question.
  
  My first suggestion was to omit the question entirely.
  
  It was offered as one of many the OP can consider.
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• Jen4948 member

  

  June 2022

  MobKaz said:

  Jen4948 said:

  MobKaz said:

  abonjione said:

  My father passed away in 2017 and my mother was going to give me away at my wedding but she passed away a few weeks ago from cancer. I am having my step-father give me away so I wasn't sure what question/verbiage should be used to "give me away". I know typically its "My wife and I" or "Her mother and I". Any thoughts, my officiant is asking me what I want to do and I am at a loss. Please help. Thank you in advance. 

  I’m sorry for your losses.  Is there any way you could simply remove this question/tradition from your ceremony?

  
  

  Your step dad could respond, “It is my honor, on behalf of her mother, to present the bride today”.

  I would not say "on behalf of her mother." I think your stepdad should just say "I am" in response to this question and let it go at that. 
  
  There are several other appropriate ways you can honor your parents' memories at your wedding.

  I offered the suggestion since the OP made it clear it was her mother that had planned to "give her away".  On behalf simply indicates step dad is fulfilling the role of, and representing, OP's mother.  The quick response is not meant to be a memorialization of her mom, but rather an honest and appropriate response to a simple question.
  
  My first suggestion was to omit the question entirely.
  
  It was offered as one of many the OP can consider.
  
  

  The bolded makes the most sense to me. My feeling is that whoever "gives away" the bride should be acknowledged as doing it in their own right as opposed to doing it on behalf of someone else. If for whatever reason the person/s who would normally give away the bride aren't available, then either the person who is doing it should simply be acknowledged as doing it and things be let go at that, or just omit the "giving away" altogether.

  Report0 Reply