Dear Prudence,
I’ve realized that my friends just aren’t happy for me. My education is objectively more impressive than most, and I’d always known that some of my friends have been a bit jealous, but I thought they had grown out of it. I’ve had several rough years bouncing between jobs because I didn’t like what I thought I did. I’d made some small steps towards different businesses. About six months ago, I finally got serious about my business prospects. My business has been much more successful than I expected so early. I’ve suddenly become financially stable and just booked my last trip on my travel bucket list. My friend “Claire” has barely made a dent in her bucket list. She was visibly upset when I mentioned this. She usually holds back her jealousy to just a quick look that only I seem to be able to notice. She was noticeably cold to me the rest of the night.
I know you would probably tell me to get better friends, but I’m starting to wonder if there are actually people out there who will be happy for me. It took me an embarrassingly long time for me to realize that most people in my life are more jealous than happy for others. My parents were those happy-type people and actively tried to bring out the best in others. Because I grew up with those parents, I just didn’t think the people in my life weren’t happy for me. So my question is, are most people jealous friends? Where do I find the non-jealous people that are like-minded and have similar interests? Is there some kind of trick to figuring out who these people are and who they aren’t without getting to know them well?
— Jealous Friends