Wedding Woes
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BFF wants a GF and I don't want her to find one.

Dear Prudence,

I’m a woman in my early 20s. My friend “Taylor” and I have been acquaintances for a couple years, but during the pandemic, we got back in touch and ended up growing close. We talk every day and video chat occasionally, and we have driven to each other’s cities to visit. I enjoy spending time with her more than anyone else. We are definitely not girlfriends (she and I have different romantic and sexual needs in every possible way), but we are each other’s primary confidantes and best friends.

Because I enjoy Taylor’s companionship so much, I haven’t really felt the need to try dating for the past few years. I’ve had some bad relationships and I’m content to appreciate what I have instead of constantly being on the Hinge grind. But Taylor is interested in getting a girlfriend of her own now, and she’s started telling me about her adventures. And I hate it. I feel heartbroken at the idea of Taylor settling down with someone who isn’t me. She and I would be a terrible couple—and I have plenty of other friends, so it’s not like she’s the only person in my life. But she’s the only person I feel this close to. How do I navigate being so sad?

— Feeling Left Behind

Re: BFF wants a GF and I don't want her to find one.

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    Omg tell Taylor you want to date her already 
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    You need to understand that friendships grow and change.  And you also need to work on being happy for your friends vs. sad that your daily companion isn't there.  And make more friends!
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    Either tell Taylor you like her or get over yourself.  This is really possessive behavior and it's kind of creepy. 
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    Why would they be such a terrible couple?  LW is trying to talk herself out of something and I think that's what really needs to be explored here.  There's an obvious crush, but there's also a distancing mechanism going on that doesn't have anything to do with Taylor.  LW needs to get their head on straight.
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    Either she is a terrible friend or she has a crush on Taylor that she hasn't been able to admit to herself.  Because most people would want their single friend looking for a g/f to find a great g/f.

    If she truly only has friendship feelings for her, the LW is a terrible friend.  Feeling sad if they are not as available is understandable.  But actively hoping that their life is smaller so hers is bigger, is toxic.

    The LW doesn't admit to having a crush, but her feelings and actions seem to say otherwise.  Either she needs to say something and let the chips fall where they may.  Or she needs to resolve those feelings and let it go, for good.

    Either way, she's too fixated on her friend.
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