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Wedding Woes

Don't submit a photo or don't submit a whole group shot

Dear Prudence,

The time has come for us to submit photos to our senior yearbook. Our friend group has pretty bad luck with taking photos, and we have very few good ones. I was scrolling through and I found the needle in the haystack photo: all of us are included, it’s fairly recent, and we all look pretty good. I sent it to the group chat, and everyone loves it and wants to use it except for “Gemma.”

Gemma is not letting us use it because of a relatively minor concern with how she looks in it (think being a bit bloated after a meal). I understand that we all have our insecurities and am against using the photo if she is this uncomfortable, but I really don’t know what other options I have. I truly wouldn’t even suggest the photo if I thought it was unflattering to anyone, and everyone in our group is saying over and over again how great she looks in it. All the ones she suggests don’t include everyone, and I don’t want to exclude someone else from the photo because Gemma is being a bit difficult.

We’ve tried reasoning with her (she looks great, the photo will be super tiny on the page, we can dim it) but she is firmly against it. I don’t want to put a picture in without her as that would feel a bit shady (we are really close), and I don’t have enough space for two. The deadline is nearing, and I don’t know if I should bother talking to her or if I’m really in the wrong here. What should I do?

— Not Smiling for the Cameras

Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Don't submit a photo or don't submit a whole group shot

  • Gemma, it’s either this one or I submit
    one without you. 
  • Gemma, it’s either this one or I submit
    one without you. 
    Or....can they take another photo?
  • Everyone literally has a camera in their pockets at all times.  Just take a new picture. 
  • banana468 said:
    Gemma, it’s either this one or I submit
    one without you. 
    Or....can they take another photo?
    All of this.  There are a few options to go with.  But it sounds exhausting.  I don't know how many people are in this friend group, but it sounds like it will be impossible to please everyone.

    Plus, I know this is really important to all of them right now, which is why I feel bad for being dismissive.  But I also know that none of them will care much about this photo a few months from now.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Why not take a new one? 

    If somehow that’s off the table- submit one with the most people, and if folks are excluded can’t they also submit another one too?
  • Chances are "Gemma" doesn't want her photo in the yearbook at all and no picture with her in it is going to change any of that...  Submit the picture, in 30 years, everyone will be commenting how great they all looked!
  • Well… is it her face or body she’s concerned about? If it’s her body then I’d say “we can crop it horizontally and just use the upper half?” Especially it’s “tiny” and dimmed.  You may want to crop it anyway?

    if it’s a bloated face she’s worried about, then I have no other options.  I hate my face in photos too. 

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