Dear Prudence,
I have this co-worker, “Vanessa,” who’s always had a weirdly competitive attitude towards me. I have no idea why, unless she resents that I’m at least as skilled and valued an employee as she is, despite not being skinny or “hot.” Our company’s summer picnic was our first in-person family party since pre-COVID, and Vanessa met my husband for the first time. Since then, she has not shut up about how cute he is and the things she’d like to do to him. I suspect this is partly if not solely to screw with me, since my husband does not seem like Vanessa’s usual type. I would go to HR, except our HR manager is a close friend of Vanessa’s, so I’m afraid that might impact me worse than her.
Vanessa and her long-term boyfriend are in an open relationship, a fact she is extremely candid about. She wants me to tell my husband that she’d like to have a threesome with him and one of her hot, younger girlfriends. She swears this would just be a one-time thing and completely consensual and aboveboard. If I won’t tell him, she wants me to give her his cell number so she can get in touch with him herself. She keeps repeating that if I won’t at least let her put the offer to him, it means I don’t trust him and my marriage is a sham.
Prudie, my husband and I have been married 13 years, we have three kids under 10, we love each other to death, we’re monogamous and have always been faithful … but I can’t be 1000 percent sure he’d say no to a one-time threesome with two gorgeous women if I left it completely up to him. Is there any merit at all to Vanessa’s assertions that this means we’re better off divorced? What should I do?
— Trouble Trusting This