Dear Prudence,
My parents have agreed to abide by your decision on this wedding etiquette question. They recently received an invitation to a cousin’s wedding and are generally not feeling up to attending. They have proposed that one of their children attend in their stead with their spouse as “family representatives.” They said they would send a generous cash gift and the attendees can enjoy the food, drink, and dancing as a date night. None of us were invited to this wedding, although we think this is likely due to space constraints vs. any ill will. We’re not particularly close but are always cordial when we meet (which hasn’t been for a while).
The family is pretty divided on whether replacing the invited guests would be acceptable. My parents maintain that this is fine and it’s more about having a family representative than the actual individuals attending. Some of us think it’s rude and could upset the couple. I have proposed that it COULD be OK, if they were clear on the RSVP and gave the bride an easy out if she doesn’t like it (none of us would be offended—we know seating arrangements and wedding planning can be stressful). What do you think?
— Butts in Seats