Dear Prudence,
While I went away this summer to visit my sister for three weeks, as she had just had a new baby, I left my 9-month-old Australian Shepherd mix, Abbie, at home with my girlfriend. She insisted she wanted to do this for me, and refused all objections (I offered to send him to a boarding service since she rarely spends time with the puppy; we compromised and put him in a daycare three times a week). Well, it was a disaster.
Within the first week, I was fielding calls and texts about how the dog was too much to handle. I hired dog walkers and even considered cutting my visit to my newborn niece short. She had gotten so “fed up” with the puppy at one point that she admitted to hurting Abbie “and it felt good.” She also said she got “so mad” at Abbie, yelling at her a lot when she did something “bad.” I am devastated for my puppy, who was so neglected and mistreated. But, I am also devastated that this woman couldn’t step up to the plate for a young creature in her care. Being with my sister made me realize I am ready for a child, too. But if my girlfriend can’t even handle a sheepdog, how will she handle a baby? And who the heck HURTS a living being (“a little, one time”) and then feels GOOD?? Am I nuts for leaving her over this? I don’t want to say she’s an “unfit mother,” but I can’t shake the feeling it would be true. She is a very lovely person and cares for me deeply, but this reported violence is seriously disturbing.
—Am I in the Doghouse Forever?