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Wedding Woes

I would hide the pregnancy and never speak to them again

Dear Prudence, 

Six months ago my husband and I went through the worst pain imaginable. We lost our daughter who was stillborn at 37 weeks from a true knot. Fast forward to the weekend of July 4th, my father-in-law, Mike (not his real name) told me that he knew something was going to eventually happen because I kept having children. (Our daughter was baby number six.) He said that he told my MIL that he “knew she would die” and that if I had any more children the same would happen to me. I was dumbfounded and in complete shock as to what he had said. Mind you, this was just three months after we buried our daughter. My husband said, “He’s not the smartest man,” and to brush it off the best I could. My question is, would it be wrong of me to hide a pregnancy from my in-laws? My husband and I would love to have a rainbow baby, but I wouldn’t want anyone to know for as long as possible, especially since going through the loss of our daughter.

Re: I would hide the pregnancy and never speak to them again

  • Do you live far enough from them that you can actually hide a pregnancy? 


  • It's easy to keep the ILs from knowing about a future pregnancy if the couple goes NC.

    But if they aren't ready to do that, the LW can do what they want.  Nobody has a "right" to know about a pregnancy.  They can let people know as they feel comfortable telling them, including waiting until after the birth of a child.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Your husband’s reposing was “he’s not the smartest man”??? You have a husband problem as well as an in law problem if that’s his reaction. 
  • Hide it from them.
    Fuck those people.
  • Your husband’s reposing was “he’s not the smartest man”??? You have a husband problem as well as an in law problem if that’s his reaction. 
    This.  FIL is more than “not smart”. He’s ignorant. 

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