Dear Prudence,
My wife and I can’t have kids. Her sisters do, but don’t lift a finger to help out their mother unless they can get something out of it. Usually money.
My mother-in-law can’t legally drive anymore and refuses to use Uber (all the drivers are “illegals” to her) so all of her appointments fall on my wife and me. We run our own business so we have a flexible schedule. My mother-in-law refuses to have any conversations that aren’t either a complaint or fawning over her “grandbabies.” She shows zero interest in our lives.
It is very painful for my wife and she has explained this to her mother. It makes her feel like she isn’t “enough” for her mother when she is the one here helping to take care of her. My mother-in-law called my wife ridiculous. I understand grandmothers are supposed to dote on their grandchildren but not to such a degree that it physically causes your daughter distress! My wife tells me to let it go but after a drive with her mother, she will come home in tears sometimes. I don’t know what to do here.
—Hurt Wife