My friend, “Patrick,” is one of the best people I know—he’s kind, funny, responsible, and loyal to a fault. A few years ago, he started dating “Myrtle.” Myrtle has always been extremely focused on having babies, to the point that it sometimes feels like she’s more interested in Patrick as a father and sperm donor than a partner. She pushed him about having kids almost immediately and pressed him to propose multiple times even when he said he wasn’t sure about their relationship. Early on, he told me she had asked him, “What if I took out my IUD without telling you?” He’s talked about ending the relationship several times, but inertia and COVID isolation kept things afloat.
Well, she’s pregnant. He seemed excited about the baby but emphasized that the pregnancy was a huge surprise, and joked that he must be more fertile than he thought in order to have gotten past Myrtle’s IUD. I know he’ll be a wonderful father, but I also can’t stop thinking about what he told me years ago. How do I continue to support him in this new stage while also suspecting that the mother of his child may have done something terrible?
—Baby Blues