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Classic: Superstitious IL's influence my H

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

My in-laws are unbelievably superstitious. My mother-in-law believes she’s psychic, my father-in-law believes her, and my husband—otherwise rational—turns we can’t know for sure! credulous around her…


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Re: Classic: Superstitious IL's influence my H

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Get Professor Trelawney over to see if you have THE GRIM.

    For real, you need to talk to your H and figure out what's going on here. And just ask him if he's really believing her or is he trying to give space because mom's coming up with reasons not to visit.  peel back that onion to figure out what's going on.
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    I mean, the first step is to not even share with her what houses you're looking at. But obviously your H needs to be on your side in all this. 
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    The rest of it b/c holy moly:

    Q: Ghostly mother-in-law: My in-laws are unbelievably superstitious. My mother-in-law believes she’s psychic, my father-in-law believes her, and my husband—otherwise rational—turns we can’t know for sure! credulous around her. I find the stream of insights and ghost sightings grating, but they can believe what they want—until it reaches the end of my nose.

    My husband and I are looking to buy a house, and his mother is constantly bothering me with her visions of “dark auras” and “bad vibes” about the houses. She’s not even with us. Apparently she can tell a duplex has more ghosts than Disney’s Haunted House from two states away.

    I’d just tune her out, but my husband says we should listen to keep the peace. Apparently she won’t ever visit if the house is “haunted.” My husband caving to her is the worst part of it. Is this going to be how it is going forward? It’s a house! A mortgage! The only thing to tie us together more would be a child. So I’m wondering if maybe we need to rethink more than just the “haunted house.” Or am I being unreasonable?

    _______

    IDK, I hate to say rethink all the things, but I'm curious to know what has happened previously.  I mean, I see no issue with listening, but actually not buying a house that fits into your budget and you both like b/c someone 2 states away is sabotaging you?  That's a damn issue!  At the very least, don't tell her crap about any other houses; see if her "psychic" self can tell which ones you're looking at then.

    �
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    The problem isn't the superstition. It's ranking mom's needs/preferences over LW's. And that is a foundational problem. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    MyNameIsNot said:
    The problem isn't the superstition. It's ranking mom's needs/preferences over LW's. And that is a foundational problem. 
    Right.  The H needs to figure out what is happening. I also wonder if any homes closer to the mom are suddenly without supernatural disturbances. 
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    banana468 said:
    MyNameIsNot said:
    The problem isn't the superstition. It's ranking mom's needs/preferences over LW's. And that is a foundational problem. 
    Right.  The H needs to figure out what is happening. I also wonder if any homes closer to the mom are suddenly without supernatural disturbances. 
    I wondered the same thing @banana468
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