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What in the white nonsense is this.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

My 10-year-old daughter is a horse girl. She’s outgrown her first pony, so we just bought her a new horse. This horse was priced right, he’s the perfect size, age, and temperament, and he’s trained in what she wants to do—we seriously could not have found her a better horse. Except for one thing. He’s an almost entirely white Pinto, and his registered name is [Farm Name] White Flight. I don’t want to know what his breeder was thinking. My daughter thinks it’s beautiful. But I would be embarrassed to have my child showing on a horse with this name, and I want to officially change it, or at least call him by another name. I’ve explained the meaning of “white flight” to her, but she still thinks it’s a perfect name for a white showjumping horse and says she wants to use it to mean something good, instead of something bad. How can I convince her to rename her new baby? Would it be too mean to say either the name is changed, or the horse is sold and she can’t have another one?

—Whitest Problem Ever

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Re: What in the white nonsense is this.

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    banana468banana468 member
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    Can you help educate your daughter a bit more on what it means and also that the first impression of the horse may be that it's owners are racist? 
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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    I don't understand.  You're the adult so presumably the owner.  Change the damn name and keep finding ways to explain it to your daughter until she understands.
    �
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    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    Jesus lord. Just change the freaking name. 
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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    Change the name. Tell her she can pick it or you will but you’re changing it. 

    Explain to her why but you know you need to change it. 
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    downtondivadowntondiva member
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    I think you need to keep explaining to her why it's not an appropriate name and that that it could be upsetting or uncomfortable at showjumping or other events. Would that perhaps get through to her more if she thought it might be hurtful or uncomfortable to others? Offer to come up with a new name for the horse together, but make clear that the horse is getting a new name whether she wants that or not.
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    levioosalevioosa member
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    This is absurd. 


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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    The LW should never have phrased it to their daughter that it's a choice.  Tell her the name needs to be changed.  Don't ask her.

    Pegasus the Pinto.

    There. I fixed it.  A white horse that flies.
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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    Dumb question, but why is "White Flight" racist?
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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    VarunaTT said:
    White flight is the term used for when white people move out of an area b/c black people are moving in, based on the presumption and racial history that (please note, outdated language) if black people move into your area, it lowers property values, diminishes school educations, etc.
    Oh! So kind of part of the term "there goes the neighborhood" ? 
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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    MissKittyDanger said:
    VarunaTT said:
    White flight is the term used for when white people move out of an area b/c black people are moving in, based on the presumption and racial history that (please note, outdated language) if black people move into your area, it lowers property values, diminishes school educations, etc.
    Oh! So kind of part of the term "there goes the neighborhood" ? 
    I never thought about that one, but I can totally see it having roots in that too.
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    kerbohlkerbohl member
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    Okay, so this is a registered horse, and it's going to take paperwork to change the name officially.  The LW offers as an option to call it something different but keep its official name, but if the daughter gets serious into show jumping, at the big shows they will call the horse by the official name to refer to its breeding.  So I think they are going to have to go through all the paperwork and change the name.  I hope it isn't as restrictive as naming a racehorse - it might be why the weird name got by.  There are so many ridiculous rules.

    Daughter will have to live with the new name.  She's ten - you bought her a horse.  You did.  She didn't buy it with her own money, so you get to name the animal.  End of discussion.  People give kids too much power sometimes.

    In case it isn't obvious, I was a "horse girl", but sadly I wasn't wealthy enough to afford horse riding lessons.  I wish, I wish so much.  I would have loved to ride.

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    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    ei34 said:
    My city roots are showing but when I hear "horse girl" I immediately picture that girl in everyone's 3rd grade class who really likes horses (horse pencil case, sparkly tshirts with horses on them, etc.).  Do families own horses like that?  Is this a farm?  I'm confused by a horse as a pet, as well as a horse girl being a description of someone who has horses as pets.  Is my daughter a softball girl because she plays softball? Lol.

    I do not however share LW's confusion on the name change.  Um, change it yesterday.  Ten is way old enough to understand systemic racism and if she looks around her classroom and doesn't see any diversity there could be a reason why that LW should discuss with her frankly.  Her "wanting it to mean something good instead of something bad" is something that might be sweet coming from a 3-year-old, but not a tween.  Kind of want her address to send her a copy of "Ron's Big Mission" a great book to use as a starting point to discuss systemic racism if you don't know where to start with your own kids.  I mean it's for little kids but LW could start there if she doesn't know where else to.
    I think it depends on the situation. Coming from suburbia, I've known a couple of people who had horses. Generally people would board the horse at a stable on the edge of town and go ride on weekends. I have no idea how much it costs, but I'm assuming it's expensive.

    This might be a southern thing, but it's also not odd to see people have a couple of horses in their yard in the further flung suburbs. There's one on the way to my sister's with a handful of horses on what looks like about 5 acres. I have no idea whether that's enough space to get the horses enough exercise or if they have to ride them to somewhere. 
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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    MyNameIsNot said:
    ei34 said:
    My city roots are showing but when I hear "horse girl" I immediately picture that girl in everyone's 3rd grade class who really likes horses (horse pencil case, sparkly tshirts with horses on them, etc.).  Do families own horses like that?  Is this a farm?  I'm confused by a horse as a pet, as well as a horse girl being a description of someone who has horses as pets.  Is my daughter a softball girl because she plays softball? Lol.

    I do not however share LW's confusion on the name change.  Um, change it yesterday.  Ten is way old enough to understand systemic racism and if she looks around her classroom and doesn't see any diversity there could be a reason why that LW should discuss with her frankly.  Her "wanting it to mean something good instead of something bad" is something that might be sweet coming from a 3-year-old, but not a tween.  Kind of want her address to send her a copy of "Ron's Big Mission" a great book to use as a starting point to discuss systemic racism if you don't know where to start with your own kids.  I mean it's for little kids but LW could start there if she doesn't know where else to.
    I think it depends on the situation. Coming from suburbia, I've known a couple of people who had horses. Generally people would board the horse at a stable on the edge of town and go ride on weekends. I have no idea how much it costs, but I'm assuming it's expensive.

    This might be a southern thing, but it's also not odd to see people have a couple of horses in their yard in the further flung suburbs. There's one on the way to my sister's with a handful of horses on what looks like about 5 acres. I have no idea whether that's enough space to get the horses enough exercise or if they have to ride them to somewhere. 
    Some of my coworkers own horses.  On average, they make an above average income for the area.  Which isn't saying much.  You don't have to go very far out of NOLA to hit large lots with acreage.

    I would call it a commitment/dedication/expense, probably similar to owning a boat.  Except owning a horse is usually cheaper.

    This is a rough guess but, if a person doesn't have room on their own land, it's a few hundred dollars/month to board the horse.  But the food is the most expensive part.  This was a few years ago, but I think one of my coworkers told me it was about $800/month in food.  And each vet visit is $250-$300 because the vet goes to the horse.  For obvious reasons, lol.

    -------------------------

    My grandma had horses growing up.  But she lived on a farm in HI.  Before tourism descended upon the islands.

    One of my favorite childhood stories from her is they had a pet pony.  The other horses on the farm were working horses, but the pony was littler and strictly a pet.  It would hang out with the family dogs and acted just like them.  The dogs and the pony lived outside, but the dogs were allowed to come in and out of the house.  It was rural HI with great weather year round, so the doors were usually left open all day for cross breezes.

    The pony would follow the dogs into the kitchen and my grandma said her mom would constantly have to shoo it back out.  If someone came to the door, the dogs would go running up to the person barking and the pony would run up with them, neighing.
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    ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
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    MyNameIsNot said:
    ei34 said:
    My city roots are showing but when I hear "horse girl" I immediately picture that girl in everyone's 3rd grade class who really likes horses (horse pencil case, sparkly tshirts with horses on them, etc.).  Do families own horses like that?  Is this a farm?  I'm confused by a horse as a pet, as well as a horse girl being a description of someone who has horses as pets.  Is my daughter a softball girl because she plays softball? Lol.

    I do not however share LW's confusion on the name change.  Um, change it yesterday.  Ten is way old enough to understand systemic racism and if she looks around her classroom and doesn't see any diversity there could be a reason why that LW should discuss with her frankly.  Her "wanting it to mean something good instead of something bad" is something that might be sweet coming from a 3-year-old, but not a tween.  Kind of want her address to send her a copy of "Ron's Big Mission" a great book to use as a starting point to discuss systemic racism if you don't know where to start with your own kids.  I mean it's for little kids but LW could start there if she doesn't know where else to.
    I think it depends on the situation. Coming from suburbia, I've known a couple of people who had horses. Generally people would board the horse at a stable on the edge of town and go ride on weekends. I have no idea how much it costs, but I'm assuming it's expensive.

    This might be a southern thing, but it's also not odd to see people have a couple of horses in their yard in the further flung suburbs. There's one on the way to my sister's with a handful of horses on what looks like about 5 acres. I have no idea whether that's enough space to get the horses enough exercise or if they have to ride them to somewhere. 
    There are several stables around here. Our neighbor's daughter who is DS2's age showed horses during high school and college. They rented a horse for a while then bought one. The horses were boarded. We also have a small horse "farm" on the street next to ours. It had 3 horses for years but are now down to 2. The barn is also an indoor riding arena. When I was growing up in NC there were two classmates of mine who showed horses. They owned them but boarded them at a stable nearby. Another friend had horses - her father had a 100 acres where they kept them along with other farm animals. I would have loved to have had a horse but my family couldn't afford it. They are very expensive. DD jokes that she is still waiting for her pony.
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    banana468banana468 member
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    There are stables around here too.  When I think of what a boat can cost the thousands of dollars on a horse aren't so bad.  It's definitely a thing that you need both decent $ and space for.  


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    missJeanLouisemissJeanLouise member
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    Horses, just like any sport/hobby, can be as expensive as you want to make it but there are ways to make it "more affordable" if you want. But owning a horse is definitely a commitment and you have to center your life around it. Lots of people with lease a horse for a year or so before deciding whether it is the right fit for their life. Showing is another level of money and time, like the difference between being on the team at school and being on a competitive, traveling team.

    @MyNameIsNot 5 acres is plenty depending on how many horses they have. I assume they mostly use it for grazing and as pasture, not necessarily exercise. But that's plenty of room to ride on as well.
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    MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
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    edited November 2022

    Having grown up in the country and fairs, yes, the term "Horse People" is a whole term and classification of people in the Ag Community...  Kind of like "More money than sense", a lot of people in the horse industry will put their ever living last dime into anything for their horses and it's all about glitz glamour and the whole 9 yards budget be damned..  Also its close cousin term "Dog and Pony Show"... 

    It's like Red vs. Green tractor, end of the day, it's still a horse...  ETA:  There are people who have and raise horses, and there's "Horse People" - these two are not the same!
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