Dear Prudence,
Is there a good way to dump a friend who dumped your friend? My good friend “Emily” dated a “Adam” for four years. I became friends with Adam through her, and everything was great until he dumped her unceremoniously. He was cruel and selfish and revealed himself to be the kind of person I would never choose to associate with. The end, right? Except Emily has forgiven him and wants to remain friends. She is dating someone new but keeps inviting Adam to group outings because “he is still an important friend to me.”
Prudie, I don’t want to tell anyone how to conduct their relationships, whom to date, or whom to befriend, but my dislike of Adam is about the kind of person he revealed himself to be, so even if Emily wants to be his friend, I don’t. She invited him to a party recently and he cornered me and asked “what can I do to become friends again?” I stammered something about still being friends and disappeared, but what do I do next time? How do you dump someone that a dumpee wants you to be friends with? I feel like I’m on all the wrong sides here. Help.
— The Transitive Property of Break-ups