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Wedding Woes

Finally Friday

Felt like a long week!  Today should be pretty smooth at work and hoping it's a nice weekend. 

Stbxh left an enormous leather recliner behind when he moved out...asked him since Sept to take it, or sell it, anything.  He'd moved it from the basement to the living room over the summer and it's been annoying me (I don't like leather furniture, it's black and the rest of the LR is neutrals with splashes of natural colors, it's huge) since then.  He put it right where the Christmas tree goes, which hasn't been a problem until a week ago.  No one wants it, stbxh refused to acknowledge my texts asking him to move it.  I didn't feel like trying to sell it so I decided to just get it out of the house and post a free curb alert.  The hurdle was physically getting it out of the house...but I did it yesterday!  Doubted I'd be able to and it took some time but I did it!  Wooo. My son even said "wow you're like Jean Valjean! (the kids are in a big Les Mis phase).  Very proud of myself.  So this weekend with our newfound space I'm going to put up the tree.  Hope everyone has something nice planned for the weekend!

Re: Finally Friday

  • H and I had a thing last night- and I’m still tired and stressed over it. He was frustrated and acted like an asshole then took two hours to actually apologize. I’m glad he finally did but like- get there faster or better yet don’t act like a jerk in the first place. I’m tired. 

    M is going to my MILs tomorrow and we’re planning to go out with Hs friends. And now I just don’t feel like it. 
  • It's the office Christmas party today at an amazing restaurant and then the rest of the day off.  I'm really looking forward to it.  Previous employer had nixed the Christmas party.  I don't actually know why, but it's b/c he's a skinflint and an arsehold about his support staff and then acts surprised when they quit.  I'm really happy with this first week and am letting myself hope that I've found my new home and the place I die/retire/become a nomad from.

    This weekend I'm going to see Jacke Brown on the big screen again with a friend.  I super want to start the new Willow series and play the new WoW expansion.  Sunday I'll probably have lunch with mom.  Hopefully somewhat of a mellow weekend, b/c I need some down time.
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2022
    @ei34, in my eyes you are shehulk too! It’s amazing the strength (physical and emotional) you find in yourself when your forced to find it! My ex left a stupid old motorcycle in my garage for longer than I wanted. I don’t park my own car in there (it’s a very small garage) but it’s storage space and difficult to walk around it.  Everyone told me to give him a timeline and put it to the curb too.  But he finally showed up for it (and had to push it on the trailer because the POS wouldn’t start!).
    Sorry about the fight @charlott@charlotte989875

    I have to get up at 6:45 tomorrow. If I’m packed.  My meetup is doing a historical town tour, and it’s open from 1-5.  It’s a self guided tour and in my mind, won’t take 4 hours (and I’ll probably be done with it all around 3 hours).  But there was a fixed lunch served at 12.  So I told her “ok meet at noon?” And she said “lets say 11:30”.
    But they wont let you IN till 12. And a fixed lunch wont take 1 hour to eat! She’s always too early for everything and i’m already driving 4 1/2 hours! So I complained to my friend and she said “people are always late, your being nitpicky”.
    People are 5 minutes late! It’s never life and death and this isn’t a show with a hard start we’re going to.  It’s a self guided tour that starts at 1. Doesn’t mean we have to be there with our noses pressed up to the window waiting for it to open. And we’re all over 40 and can handle an arrival time. This really means 1/2 more in bed to me versus sitting in a car for 1/2 hour waiting for this museum to hand out (what I assume is) chips & sandwiches! So no, I’m not being nitpicky!!! 
    As it turns out, we got an early check in at the Inn we’re staying at, so we’re doing lunch on our own (thank goodness!) and meeting at noon to check in the b&b instead.

  • @ei34 Giving that super mom name!!

    @charlotte989875 was it one of those things that it still needed to get dealt with? M & I have had those and even though it's exhausting, it's also cathartic to get out.

    @VarunaTT ooh exciting! Free meal and part day off ;)

    @CharmedPam I hate travel for early morning factor too.
  • @ei34 Giving that super mom name!!

    @charlotte989875 was it one of those things that it still needed to get dealt with? M & I have had those and even though it's exhausting, it's also cathartic to get out.

    @VarunaTT ooh exciting! Free meal and part day off ;)

    @CharmedPam I hate travel for early morning factor too.
    H is not good with dealing or handling his emotions. He’s had frustration building about the construction and then the cat peed on one of our new walls and he lost control a bit (NOT in a violent way at al just want to be clear). He knows he was wrong and apologized so I don’t think it’s something we still need to talk through. It’s more that I’m still feeling upset about it and I’m tired because we didn’t end up talking until like 11:30 last night. 
  • Some days, my love languages are very loud lol
    M's been pushing me to spend more on myself {I argue I often buy coffee or order food - he says that's not same lol}

    So I told him last night because of all the stress and chaos with my job {and in turn me} I got him an extra xmas gift.
    M: You're stressed so you bought me a gift?
    Me: Yes.
    M: That's not how this works :| 

    Anyways I bought him Vessi shoes. He's been questioning it for a bit, and SFIL has them so I asked about them a bit just to be sure they'd be worth it.
    Easy to put on and M wants to have them in nicer weather so he's not questioning about if he can step further to go fishing - sometimes it's the shore and even a couple steps towards/in water he says would help.
    He use to do barefoot, but since 2020 when he fell in a hole and broke his baby toe and got cut and slight infection in his foot, he refuses to.

    Will I still do something for myself?
    Yes. Because on weekend of 17th my friend A & I are doing a Kate Spade tea thing. It's $75 and you get treats and a gift :) 

    The Vanitea Room A Tea Salon & Eatery (thevanitearoomteasalon.com)

    They also do drag brunches, so I told A maybe we should do that in nicer weather :)

  • Popping in after being a bit quiet this week.  

    I just had my work Christmas party last night - it was great.  I won a drone!  Well, I won a karaoke machine, but you need a phone with data to use it which I don't have.  I would probably know people who would have a phone that we could use, but I'm not that big into the karaoke.  The person I was sitting beside I knew did karaoke regularly, and I saw her eyeing it, so I was just going to give it to her at the end of the night.  But then she won a door prize too, and I though hmmm, maybe we can switch.  It worked out nicely - hubby will use it to take videos to promote his LARP.

    This has been a busy week, and I have been dragging.  I'm just a little burned out from this year, and I'm feeling it this week.  I have a trainee that is very scattered and tries to have long conversations about things that are not relevant to the training.  I'm all for being friendly and having some personal conversation, but they haven't really gotten it when I tried to shut it down.  It has been affecting the training of the other people.  So I've been fighting that all week.

    I saw talk of travelling with just a carry on .... I did it once when I toured the UK for two weeks, and for the life of me I can't remember how on earth I managed that.  I know I can do it, but now I do like a bit more stuff when I travel.  I go to my sister's place for two days and I've got a backpack and page and a purse and a bunch of other stuff ... I've got to get back into travelling light.  

  • Some humour regarding kids but tbh it's just funny. BK isn't at certain ages mentioned and I still laugh

    97 Of The Funniest And Most Relatable Tweets From Parents Who Were Just Trying To Get Through November | Bored Panda
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2022
    Yeah @MissKittyDanger that’s not how it works lol. But that tea sounds wonderful! I love KS.  I keep getting KS surprise ads on facebook and they’re oh so cute! I’m not one for tea, but if it’s a fruity flavour then maybe. That added u was for you. Lol. 
    @charlotte989875 reno is never fun and I can imagine everything everywhere and if your OCD about “things” being in their “thing places” I get it 100%!
    @kerbohl that’s great that it turned out that way! 

    I fired Orkin because I’ve been having mice issues and all they do it lay down traps every other month. The exterminator suggested all the places I should seal, but nothing’s really worked and the mice keep coming back. This new company is coming out today to actually lay traps as well - but they do the sealing work because I’m done trying to fix this on my own!  The work is extra, but I need it. They said 8:30 to 12:30 and I’m annoyed because they’re not here yet and I had to put on a bra and skirt so I’m not caught off guard.  So hurru the fuck up, crew! 

  • @CharmedPam my friend A did it last {she gave me the KS mug :) } and apparently lots of good flavours. I think she said they also have hot chocolates too because kids often go
  • @MissKittyDanger That looks so fun!  And just by perusing the drag calendar, that is GOOD drag, you should enjoy it.  I didn't recognize any names, but that doesn't mean much.  I appreciate when bigger venues make sure to use local talent, b/c so many people know will only show up/out for the RPDR queens.
  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2022
    @ei34, you rock!  Congrats on getting the eyesore out of your house.  I've always found it surprising that leather furniture is as popular as it is.  I'm dissing on it as a choice. I just vastly prefer fabric furniture.  I think it's so much more comfortable.  But the last time I shopped for a couch with recliner options, 90% of the choices were leather.  Am I really that much in the minority? 

    @charlotte989875, I'm sorry to hear about your all's fight.  That can definitely put people out of sorts at least for the next day.

    @VarunaTT, such a nice way to end your first week!  My work's Christmas party is tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it.  But, speaking of being stingy, this is the first one we've had in about 7 years.

    When they notified us back then that they weren't holding a Christmas party that year, I understood.  The two biggest industries we work in were on a downturn at the same time.  That was the same year they stopped giving an annual bonus into our 401Ks.  I was still understanding for the next two years.  Business had bounced back, but they were probably still recovering from the bad 1-2 years.  But then there really wasn't any excuse, other than people got used to not having a Christmas party or getting the annual bonus, so the company stopped doing it.  I realize the last two years may have been because of the pandemic.  So it's nice they are finally having a party again.  I guess we'll have to see in January if we get an annual bonus in our 401K.  But I'm not holding my breath.

    @CharmedPam, at least it still sounds like a fun weekend!  But I'm with you.  I'm not showing up to a restaurant or event, 30 minutes before it even opens.  Especially when time afterwards isn't much of a factor.

    @MissKittyDanger, I'm glad you're treating yourself!  That sounds fun.

    @kerbohl, congrats on the drone and good trade!

    It has been a hectic morning!  But for good reasons.  My agent put the first rental property "live".  One of the duplexes that has it's "twin" next door.  She had multiple requests for showings within 15 minutes!  Before she'd even gotten the second one live!

    We are going to use one tenant's unit for the initial showings.  That tenant said they were good for showings on either this Sunday or Monday, so I'm waiting to hear back from my agent on which is a better day for the first open house!

    On the unfortunate side, that tenant is also moving out at the end of December, so we will also be doing rental showings.  Not at the exact same time.  But we're going to lump rental showings either right before or right after the buyer showings to try and keep things as consolidated and the least impact for the current tenant, as possible.

    Edited to add:  I'm also going this weekend with my friend to a cookie exchange.  Ironically, that her realtor is holding, lol.  This particular realtor owns rentals where my personal home is.  I'm mainly going to hang out with my friend.  But seems like this woman would be a good contact, either to put my rentals on her radar for her investment buyers.  Or, who knows.  Maybe she would personally be interested in buying my home, when I am ready to put it up for sale.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Yay for Friday! I'm dragging this week too. I guess it's a long week after a holiday break, but it's also month end for me which makes everything stupid. I'm annoyed at work today and just want to log off. Everyone keeps pinging me to ask me for stupid stuff and I can't focus on any actual work.  

    Hoping for a relaxed weekend. We have to go to a friend's holiday party tonight, but can hopefully dip out by 9. Tomorrow we're going to a watch party for the US world cup game. Then just chores and stuff. 

    We bought a new tree and tried to put it up this week, but it looked terrible and so got returned. I figured out that I just don't have the mental energy to do the christmas stress this year, so we're just not. So now I'm debating booking a last minute getaway for xmas weekend instead.
  • @ei34, you rock!  Congrats on getting the eyesore out of your house.  I've always found it surprising that leather furniture is as popular as it is.  I'm dissing on it as a choice. I just vastly prefer fabric furniture.  I think it's so much more comfortable.  But the last time I shopped for a couch with recliner options, 90% of the choices were leather.  Am I really that much in the minority? 


    I like leather because it's easier to keep clean/not stain. It's a bigger deal to me in the car, but when my cat barfed on the sofa, I was really happy to be able to pick it up and wipe it down with lysol wipes. No stain and no smell. I feel like the smell would have seeped into a fabric couch and never come out. 
  • @VarunaTT oh good!! Honestly I've never been and would love to :) Once I know the place, I'd love to take BK {they were suppose to have a drag story time but covid *sigh* }
  • kerbohl said:


    I saw talk of travelling with just a carry on .... I did it once when I toured the UK for two weeks, and for the life of me I can't remember how on earth I managed that.  I know I can do it, but now I do like a bit more stuff when I travel.  I go to my sister's place for two days and I've got a backpack and page and a purse and a bunch of other stuff ... I've got to get back into travelling light.  
    It’s all about the planning for me. I’ll be gone 12 days and bringing 2 casual dresses, one nicer dress, 6 tops, shorts, a skort, a bathing suit, a cover up, sneakers, flats, dressy sandals, walking sandals, flip flops, two hats, and a sweater. Plus socks undies and toiletries and I should be pretty well situated 
  • It’s all about the planning for me. I’ll be gone 12 days and bringing 2 casual dresses, one nicer dress, 6 tops, shorts, a skort, a bathing suit, a cover up, sneakers, flats, dressy sandals, walking sandals, flip flops, two hats, and a sweater. Plus socks undies and toiletries and I should be pretty well situated 
    Yeah but like 100 panties, right? Because when I pack, I always feel that I’m going to piss my pants 99 times more than I do at home lol. 
    That was the same year they stopped giving an annual bonus into our 401Ks. I guess we'll have to see in January if we get an annual bonus in our 401K.  But I'm not holding my breath.

    @CharmedPam, at least it still sounds like a fun weekend!  But I'm with you.  I'm not showing up to a restaurant or event, 30 minutes before it even opens.  Especially when time afterwards isn't much of a factor.
    Wait, your entire bonus goes to 401k? Not sure I’m on board with that.  I guess a 401k bonus is better than none, but let ME put it in my 401k!!!

    and yeah! We have have 6:30 dinner reservations so if we’re done at 4, we’ll hang out in the b&b until then - but those “tail end” hours still could have been used to sleep in!

  • I've got a wild night in store of meeting DH at Costco after work (instead of him passing it on the way home and then backtracking) and then I think we'll pick up pizza on the way home. 

    Tomorrow, I'm meeting my sisters for brunch to celebrate lil sis's bday.  Afterward, I'll probably do some shopping and then IDK what else is in store.  DH works for a major international carrier and his division of the company is getting a dedicated plane for our airport so they can ship product out even faster. It's maiden flight lands at 10pm tomorrow night.  If he can take DefConn (he has to ask since he has a special TSA clearance), then they may go check it out. 

    Sunday, I plan on making cinnamon rolls and maybe some other goodies.  
  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2022
    It’s all about the planning for me. I’ll be gone 12 days and bringing 2 casual dresses, one nicer dress, 6 tops, shorts, a skort, a bathing suit, a cover up, sneakers, flats, dressy sandals, walking sandals, flip flops, two hats, and a sweater. Plus socks undies and toiletries and I should be pretty well situated 
    Yeah but like 100 panties, right? Because when I pack, I always feel that I’m going to piss my pants 99 times more than I do at home lol. 
    That was the same year they stopped giving an annual bonus into our 401Ks. I guess we'll have to see in January if we get an annual bonus in our 401K.  But I'm not holding my breath.

    @CharmedPam, at least it still sounds like a fun weekend!  But I'm with you.  I'm not showing up to a restaurant or event, 30 minutes before it even opens.  Especially when time afterwards isn't much of a factor.
    Wait, your entire bonus goes to 401k? Not sure I’m on board with that.  I guess a 401k bonus is better than none, but let ME put it in my 401k!!!

    and yeah! We have have 6:30 dinner reservations so if we’re done at 4, we’ll hang out in the b&b until then - but those “tail end” hours still could have been used to sleep in!
    Yep!  And it's not fully vested until it hits the (I think) 3-year mark either.  And here's the especially funny part for me.  Since I may not live to be 65 and plan to retire long before then anyway, I don't bother with 401Ks*.  But I did have to open one for this company, so there was somewhere they could put that "sometimes" annual bonus.  Otherwise, you don't get it at all.

    I've heard the engineers get a real Christmas bonus that's straight money.  But I wouldn't know about that (side-eye).

    They don't give Christmas presents of any kind.  

    Oh!  Here's another one.  They don't provide dishwashing detergent in the breakrooms.  Not an oversight.  It has specifically been asked for a variety of times and the answer is always, "We do not provide that."  People buy it out of their own pockets and they are the generous ones who let others use it. 

    *But I HIGHLY recommend them to other people, especially if the company has a match (mine does do that, at least).  It's just not the best option for me and my very particular retirement plan.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • @CharmedPam, my Chipolte update.  I did try the Garlic Guajillo steak burrito.  I see what you mean that it's on the drier instead of moister side.  But that didn't bother me too much and I loved the flavor.  I would definitely opt for that protein choice again over the others.

    I also bought a couple more items when I stopped at Old Navy to pick up my purchase.  I got our dog a red plaid sweater that matched some onesie pajamas I got for myself.  The pajamas were a bit unusual in that they were knee length, instead of ankle length.  Then, when I was in the checkout, I saw the matching socks.  So I had to get a pair of those too, lol.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I took an early lunch break and went to get a mani/pedi - super happy with everything!  I get them like once every 5 years so i dont' have a lot to compare it to.  I'm excited to feel a little fancy for my Holiday party tonight. IL's are coming over to babysit the boys and H and are leaving around 530.  Very excited, this our first one since 2018! I was too pregnant in 2019 and we didn't have them the last 2 years.  

    Also, i dont' think i'd even buy leather furniture - however - previous owners of our house left some furniture as part of the sale and we have gigantic black leather sectional. It has been an absolute godsend for cleaning up after 2 often gross toddler boys.  The stuffing inside is a little worn, but the surface looks pristine.  Totally get why people like them a lot!

  • Puke wipes off leather.  
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