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You're a lunch break bang only. DTMFA

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I have been seeing a young man for a year and several months. He is younger than I. I love him very much. Now to the heart of the matter: He comes by on his lunch break normally, and we are in bed in less than 15 minutes. I have never been on a “real” date with him.
I invited him to go with me to a restaurant. He seemed to like the idea, but yesterday his text seemed like he did not want to go. It seems he is ashamed to be seen with an older lady. If he doesn’t go along with it tonight, should I end this relationship?

— Puzzled in the Cold

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Re: You're a lunch break bang only. DTMFA

  • CasadenaCasadena member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Come on, you're not puzzled. Keep doing him if you want, but this isn't a relationship. End it if you're not ok with that. 
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You don’t have a relationship 
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I do feel sad for this LW. 

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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yeah, that's not a relationship. You have an f buddy. 
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Sorry, LW.  The "nooner box" is the only box you fit in for his life.  Maybe you could have expanded things if you'd insisted on more, early on.  But it's probably too late now.

    I'd also guess he is already in a different, committed relationship.  That's why he usually only comes around during his workday. 
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    It sounds like you are much more into this "relationship" than he is and are expecting a lot more from it than he wants to give - I wouldn't be surprised if he's already in a relationship and that's why things have been so limited with you. 

    Either you have to accept that things are just going to continue the way they are or you need to end this. This is not going to progress toward what you want. Other than sex, I'm afraid he's just not that into you. 
    image
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Let's be real. We've all been in some level of this relationship - either end of it.

    High school I was LW only we weren't sleeping together.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    This reminds me of a weird story about our next door neighbors from when I was a teenager. They were friendly enough with my parents, but we weren't social or anything. Somewhere around his junior year, my brother developed a habit of cutting the last two periods of the day and coming home. Mr. Neighbor would randomly be home -- with a girlfriend. My bro was a dumbass and mentioned it to our mom, and that's how he got caught skipping school. 

    I always wondered how anyone had enough time to get all the way home, get into it and do the deed, and get back to work looking ok in a reasonable lunch break. 
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    MyNameIsNot said:
    This reminds me of a weird story about our next door neighbors from when I was a teenager. They were friendly enough with my parents, but we weren't social or anything. Somewhere around his junior year, my brother developed a habit of cutting the last two periods of the day and coming home. Mr. Neighbor would randomly be home -- with a girlfriend. My bro was a dumbass and mentioned it to our mom, and that's how he got caught skipping school. 

    I always wondered how anyone had enough time to get all the way home, get into it and do the deed, and get back to work looking ok in a reasonable lunch break. 
    That's another reason I suspect the arrangement may not be very...ummm...satisfying for the LW.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    MyNameIsNot said:
    This reminds me of a weird story about our next door neighbors from when I was a teenager. They were friendly enough with my parents, but we weren't social or anything. Somewhere around his junior year, my brother developed a habit of cutting the last two periods of the day and coming home. Mr. Neighbor would randomly be home -- with a girlfriend. My bro was a dumbass and mentioned it to our mom, and that's how he got caught skipping school. 

    I always wondered how anyone had enough time to get all the way home, get into it and do the deed, and get back to work looking ok in a reasonable lunch break. 
    In hetero sex woman on top is less messy for the hair.  But it also screams (no pun intended) that this is in the woman's home.  So I get the impression that she doesn't need to have herself back into a put-together mode quickly.   And let's be clear - it's not that difficult for a guy to finish, smooth the hair and get back without most breaking a sweat. 
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    MyNameIsNot said:

    I always wondered how anyone had enough time to get all the way home, get into it and do the deed, and get back to work looking ok in a reasonable lunch break. 
    I live 10 minutes away from home, and no one cares or pays attention if your over an hour slightly (2 and we question).  I used to go home for nooners once in a blue moon.  But also because there were times exH was only home from work during my work hours, so we tried to make it work.
    but then again, he tried to make it work with many others too so who am I to talk? 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

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