Dear Prudence,
I’m 26 and in my first relationship. I’m a really shy introverted person. I didn’t make any friends in college, and it took me a while before I managed to build up my social confidence and my social circle in the city I moved to. My boyfriend is 27. This is his second relationship, but his first one only lasted two months. We’ve been dating for three months now. We met because his best friend’s brother is dating my roommate, so my friend and his friend met each other and set us up. I’ve been told now by several people that I normally turn to for advice that this relationship is a bad idea for two reasons: 1. That a shy introvert dating another shy introvert is unhealthy, and 2. He’s much larger than I am (heavier, more muscular, and about a foot taller than me).
He’s never displayed any of the red flags that people normally warn about, like love-bombing or ghosting. He’s not manipulative and doesn’t gaslight me. He really understands me in a way that no man in my life has before. We both struggle with recognizing social cues, so we’ve been as blunt as possible with each other, which my siblings tell me is super cute. We’re both morning people, which is great; we don’t live together but we go on early morning strolls together almost every single day. We’ve both decided to take things slowly in terms of physical stuff (we’re both virgins by certain definitions). I’ve been on a few first dates before, and a lot of the guys got hung up on my appearance and told me stuff like how I’d probably look better without glasses or with my hair done a certain way. My boyfriend usually doesn’t comment on my appearance unless it’s a compliment, something’s drastically wrong, or I ask him for his honest opinion on something. Also, he likes how I look in glasses and comfy clothes, which is my appearance most of the time.
I’ve asked everyone who expressed worry about our relationship if they see any major red flags, and they don’t, they only see the size difference and our personalities. They tell me they can see what I see in him, and if I was a different person he’d be great for me. It’s strange, because they normally have good advice. Do the people in my life have a point? Or are they just all collectively weird?
— Receiving Some Strange Support