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Your parents are abusive monsters in the name of religion.

Dear Prudence,

My parents love me. I am trying my best to make them proud. However, recently they put me in a situation that has made me miserable, and I am not sure if I should forgive them for it.

I am a teenager and I have anxiety, depression, and autism. The former impacts many aspects of my life, the most noticeable being the way I communicate, both in person and digitally (e.g. this message to you). It also makes me incredibly sensitive to noise.

My parents are avid churchgoers, which is something I do not mind. In fact, I encourage it as religion is very important to them. However, it does cause conflict between us; my father performed pseudo-exorcisms on me on two occasions. They both took place a while ago, and I have forgiven him, but this recent incident has been more difficult.

They recently attended a concert-style church event. They seated me in the front row, in front of the speakers, with a spotlight shining onto me repeatedly. I requested a seat change and they said no, that I should simply “suck it up.” And I tried. Let the record show that I tried my best. However, after three straight hours, I began to cry. I also had a minor meltdown. It felt like torture, and for days afterward I heard a ringing in my ears that would not stop.

My parents told me it was my fault and that I was being dramatic and “Putting on a show.” I was not. What should I do?

— Wax Moth

Re: Your parents are abusive monsters in the name of religion.

  • You are far more accepting of your parents than they are of you, and that’s not how it’s supposed to be. Decline to go to these events in the future and find a teacher or counselor you can confide in. This is abuse as were the “exorcisms” and you do not have to live like this. 
  • At best your parents are brain-washed by what is likely some Righteous Gemstone cult-like group.

    And they're ignoring your actual issues too. If you're an adult, you need to distance yourself from them and do what you can to move out so you do not see them frequently. 


  • I feel so bad for this LW.  They are so young and vulnerable and being abused by their parents.  I wonder if they have anyone in their life they can trust.   

    This is a 'give Prudie a hand' letter, so I'm hoping there's a lot of outrage and people who are telling LW that this is very wrong and even have resources to help them GTFO. 
  • It's hard to read a letter like this.  Knowing a young person is being abused but they are so brainwashed, they don't even realize it and partially blame themselves.

    While a minor point compared to the rest of the letter, a teenager has much more acute hearing than someone (their parents) who is 20-30 years older than them.  Sounds are louder and they can also hear higher pitched sounds that their parents cannot.

    But I suppose people who believe in exorcisms are not too keen on pesky stuff like real science and facts.
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  • This is painful to read.  I want to tell LW to go to the pastor of the church, but the way their parents are behaving, I suspect that would be of no help.  I dont know what to tell them to do except to start saving money, get good grades, and bounce out for college.
  • It's hard to read a letter like this.  Knowing a young person is being abused but they are so brainwashed, they don't even realize it and partially blame themselves.

    While a minor point compared to the rest of the letter, a teenager has much more acute hearing than someone (their parents) who is 20-30 years older than them.  Sounds are louder and they can also hear higher pitched sounds that their parents cannot.

    But I suppose people who believe in exorcisms are not too keen on pesky stuff like real science and facts.
    That's what I was thinking too.  It might not have been too loud for them but definitely for someone younger.  And I wouldn't be happy with front row seats - it is just  considerate to make sure everyone you are with is okay with the seats.  The parents sound crazy controlling.

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