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Classic: Help him find her a 'handler' ASAP.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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in Wedding Woes

I’m getting married in a few weeks, and I have prided myself on being a roll-with-the-punches bride who knows the most important thing is that I’m marrying the best guy in the world. The problem is his ex (they dated for three years when he was in college over a decade ago), who still obsessively refers to him as her bestie (a level of friendship I’m not sure he feels, though I know he cares about her, and his sense of loyalty is my favorite thing about him). She decided at the last minute that she was traveling in to attend and now needs her hand held every step of the way

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Re: Classic: Help him find her a 'handler' ASAP.

  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    The train tickets and transportation are more than enough. Text her the number of a local taxi company or tell her to download Lyft but by no means should either of you be worried about her travel plans on your wedding. 

    Or tell her to bring a plus one and let that person deal with her inability to act like an adult. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    Talk to your FI about how busy you will both be that weekend and see who the two of you know that may help.

    And see if that other person is up to the challenge before linking them to each other.

    If you can't think of anyone who is available be clear, "We'll be tied up that weekend and unable to drive so here are the #s of services available."

    This is about making sure that the nice guy also knows that his wedding weekend is not the time to play tour guide or chauffeur. 
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Doesn't FI have friends from his college days coming that know her?  I'd start there with trying to find someone to assist her.  But seriously, he needs to know when to say, "sorry, I can't do that for you since I'm getting married and have things to do/places to be." 
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    OMG, say no! My H told his own parents that they would have to figure out hotels and transportation for our wedding weekend because we were too busy. It's not about being a jealous shrew; it's about drawing a line when someone is asking for way too much. 
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    "No" is a full sentence that should've been used already by both you and your FI.  This is ridiculous.
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    MyNameIsNot said:
    OMG, say no! My H told his own parents that they would have to figure out hotels and transportation for our wedding weekend because we were too busy. It's not about being a jealous shrew; it's about drawing a line when someone is asking for way too much. 
    Seriously!!  

    I cannot imagine DH having to taxi people on Sunday for Christmas and that's just a party at the house.   Sometimes you just have to nicely tell people that they're going to need to figure things out.

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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    This is definitely a discussion to have with the FI and this is one occasion where he needs to set boundaries, if need be.  Pointing out to him that they have already gone above and beyond by providing her with a lot of info for her trip, including transportation options.

    That she purposely picked a hotel further out from the venue because it was on the bus line.  Great!  She already has a cheap way to get to/fro from the venue.  Even if it isn't the most convenient form of transportation.
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    short+sassy said:
    This is definitely a discussion to have with the FI and this is one occasion where he needs to set boundaries, if need be.  Pointing out to him that they have already gone above and beyond by providing her with a lot of info for her trip, including transportation options.

    That she purposely picked a hotel further out from the venue because it was on the bus line.  Great!  She already has a cheap way to get to/fro from the venue.  Even if it isn't the most convenient form of transportation.
    Also why I can support LW in saying that it isn't jealousy but you have to wonder if the friend made these arrangements for cost alone or if there's some not so subtle way that she's hoping for a long car ride with the groom  to and from events.  It may not even be that the friend has any motives other than  one on one time but makes me wonder if this ex GF is kind of new to the scene of friends getting married (not an unlikely concept especially given the last few years) and regardless of why she's made these plans, they're super inconvenient for all the locals. 
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