Dear Prudence,
I haven’t spoken to my brother in seven years. His then-girlfriend cheated on him constantly, so when they got engaged, I was honest—I told him it was a mistake and that he needed to have some self-respect because no one deserved to be treated like his girlfriend treated him. So he cut me out of his life—wouldn’t talk to me, wouldn’t see me, wouldn’t even be at the same family event if I was there. He skipped our father’s funeral because I was there.
Recently, out of the blue, he called me several times and left messages about catching up. I called our mother and low and behold, his wife had left him for her rich boss and is pregnant with this guy’s baby. Mom says he wants to reconnect. I have no desire to. My mother is begging me to reconsider—for her sake at least. I told her I would be polite if my brother wanted to show up at family events while I was there, but that was it. She cried harder than when our father died. I feel awful, but my brother chose this route a long time ago. How do I get my mother to understand this? And what do I do if my brother wants to talk?
— Seven Years