Hump Day

ei34 · March 2023

How’s everyone?
DDs have their first outdoor softball practice later today (I’m one of the coaches) and though it’s cold, it’s sunny (I’m trying to focus on positives). Work continues to be a bit of a drain, but it is what it is. Wishing everyone a good day

climbingsingle · March 2023

Happy Friday! Hoping the day goes fast. I'm going to see my nephew after work and then out to dinner with my mom.

mrsconn23 · March 2023

Hi. IDK how it's only Wednesday because this week feels like it's been going on forever.

My team is continuing to fall the hell apart, LOL. My top producer just went on an unexpected leave due to an injury and I still have two other people out. We seem to be slowing down, but we're getting ready to take on a new work type. The training for the new work is turning into a shitshow. Fun times. Ha.

DH *finally* got the offer for the promotion that's been in the works for a few months...and they low-balled him, hard. He countered, but we're prepared to walk and he'll stay where he's at for now. There will be other opportunities and if not, he's happy doing what he does now.

DefConn's bday was yesterday. We took a couple of his friends to skyzone and went to dinner with the grandpas and the kiddo.

SSDD otherwise.

Casadena · March 2023

I've got a little sinus cold and feel like my face is going to explode from pressure. Other than that all 3 my boys are good and work is fine and my mom is coming today. Have to figure out what to make for dinner - i have nothing prepped, any suggestions?

charlotte989875 · March 2023

I’m sick- I caught whatever big M had this weekend and just want to sleep. I’m taking a few meeting today but basically going to lay down whenever I don’t have to be on.

But we moved a rug and some of M’s toys into the least town up half of the living room and it’s made a huge difference already. Not having a dedicated play spot has been hard and even though we’re no where close to being done at least we can make things slightly easier in the meantime.

MissKittyDanger · March 2023

BK has been so tired lately. Like exhausted at night and just hard to wake up in the morning because she's tired and cranky.

Are we heading into another growth spurt? Honestly time will tell. I'm hoping it's legs lol Well maybe waist more so - her waist doesn't match leg size and just makes things rough.

Also with a bunch of melting, BK & I are messed up with allergies. Luckily her meds can be split - which seems to work for now.

I really want the weekend. I'm tired.

CharmedPam · March 2023

@mrsconn23 that sucks that he was low balled. I wonder if that was intentional. Can’t wait to hear that outcome!
have fun coaching @ei34!

I worked from home yesterday and got a lot done. Tossed my old make up and stuff I haven’t used in awhile, and organized my makeup table. Then I got rid of 2 garbage bags of shoes to goodwill. And 1/2 a bag of shoes to toss because they’re so worn. Most of the shoes I donated I haven’t ever worn and still had the tissue paper in the toes! But why keep heels if I’ll never in my life wear them? I made way for some new shoes coming. I was sick of wearing shoes that hurt! This is why I was looking at the Von D collection, because I think they’d be comfy and fashionable. But I can’t break down and pay $180 per pair.

Edit: I also got sucked into AMC’s Mayfair Witches. Love it! Up next will be Interview with a Vampire. The NOLA scenery is beautiful.

Casadena · March 2023

@CharmedPam that sounds like how I work from home, lol. And why i generally prefer to work in the office! Speaking of comfy shoes - how are you liking the Rothy's? I feel responsible for you buying them so i hope they're working well

@mrsconn23 that sucks about H's offer - hopefully they will work with him if it's something he wants, but glad you're in a place that you can walk away if you dont' feel it's fair!

Casadena · March 2023

J crew Factory is having a huge sale so i'm ordering a bunch of stuff to try for summer. Of course most of the things i like are not available in the local store or i'd just go try on first. I'm sure i'll end up taking a lot back, but I need a few summery work items!

CharmedPam · March 2023

Casadena said:

@CharmedPam that sounds like how I work from home, lol. And why i generally prefer to work in the office! Speaking of comfy shoes - how are you liking the Rothy's? I feel responsible for you buying them so i hope they're working well

@mrsconn23 that sucks about H's offer - hopefully they will work with him if it's something he wants, but glad you're in a place that you can walk away if you dont' feel it's fair!

one pair fits awesome! The other, same size, is a tad snug but they’re not returnable so I’m stuck with it. I just need to stretch it out some.
i could get another pair of rothy’s but they were nothing fab IMO, and if I spend $150 on those I may as well just do the $180 for Von D and get the spiderweb design!

MissKittyDanger · March 2023

Completely side note, M & I have reason to believe SIL is pregnant and it's a boy
We won't see them until Easter, but too many things add up

BIL texted M asking about their dad's middle name.
BIL advised he can't ask without raising suspicions {obv} so M finds out.

M asks BIL if there's any chance he'd be told - BIL states "you'll find out in due time"

If SIL is pregnant, they could have done blood test and getting name options etc

levioosa · March 2023

Back at work today. My old boss called me this morning trying to get me back to my old position. It’s so tempting except for the drive and pay cut. It was really nice to see my old coworkers on Saturday. They made a point of telling me several times how much I’m missed and what a big difference the clinic is without me. It was nice to hear that because you don’t always get to hear appreciation, especially after you leave.

Otherwise SSDD. There’s like our 7th Bomb Cyclone going on this week. I don’t mind the rain but everyone here seems to hate it. There was a tornado nearby the other week, and that I did mind.

Feel better soon! @casadena and @charlotte989875

short+sassy · March 2023

@mrsconn23, I'm sorry his offer wasn't anywhere close to what you all were expecting. Especially after the months long build-up. Ugh! Hopefully they will accept his counter.

@Casadena, my moment of confusion reading your post: three boys? I'm positive she only has two sons. Oh! The third boy is her H, lmao. Quandries like this are why I always keep a bag of stir fry, with meat included in it, in the freezer.

@CharmedPam, your post was so funny to read because, in the first sentence, I thought you were talking about getting a lot done at work. It's times like theseI especially wish I was working from home because my job has been in a bigger lull than usual. I would love to be able to use this idle time to organize my own house but, instead, I have to be chained to a desk at the office.

I've been making an effort to get on a better sleep schedule. It's been mixed results, but at least has been moving in a forward direction. It's improved my mood and energy levels, so I'm trying to improve and stick to it more.

banana468 · March 2023

I'm super proud of DH. Last night he attended the local BoF meeting where they were going to review the school budget which has the large increase included.

One grump who happens to live down the road spoke against the budget and in my searches of that guy, he's just not in favor of most educational spending so I look at him as someone who thinks education means a teacher inside of 4 walls.

Public speaking isn't DH's strong suit but he is well written and articulate and made great points in the 3 minutes he had.

Casadena · March 2023

@Casadena, my moment of confusion reading your post: three boys? I'm positive she only has two sons. Oh! The third boy is her H, lmao. Quandries like this are why I always keep a bag of stir fry, with meat included in it, in the freezer.

SIB: Hah, sorry to confuse, I talk about them like that pretty frequently (grouped) and didn't even register that might sound weird! I decided on pulled pork, baked beans and coleslaw for dinner my sons love baked beans so much and I'm doing pulled pork the lazy way and picking it up from the grocery store shredded and will put BBQ sauce on it myself....fancy.

Jen4948 · March 2023

Feel better soon @Casadena and @charlotte989875

Not much going on with me. Lots of work. Today is the 54th anniversary of my parents' wedding. It's weird to mark it for the first time without my mom but my dad seems to be ok.

I recently had a health scare. I had a mammogram where they found something and had to do a follow-up, but the follow-up showed that I am fine. I recovered from the scare by going on a shopping spree. First time since the pandemic at least that I really did that... maybe the first time since moving out of my parents' house after college!

My dad did something really fucked up that I had to tell him off about. Since he got notices from the IRS for the last couple of years after he did his and my mom's tax returns on TurboTax and then asked me for help (he and my mom were never willing to become paying clients of the CPA firms I have worked for), I assisted him in my personal time and volunteered to do his return for him this year. I paid out of pocket for a single use tax software license to do his return in my personal time and did his return late at night after I finished work for the day. (I also do my own returns and another friend's but I generally discourage people in my personal life from asking me to do their tax returns because I try to compartmentalize my life in order to hang onto my sanity during tax season - but it doesn't seem to work. More on that to follow.)

He and I were also trying to make plans for Passover. His original idea seems to have been that he would go to one Seder given by a friend of his and host a second one at his house. He tried inviting some of his friends to his house for a Seder but they had other plans.

The one that his friend gives, while my dad really enjoys it, the food is great and the people are nice, unfortunately the host acts like a scholar-in-residence and lectures about every prayer and passage in the Seder, which turns a service that should be 90 minutes at the longest into 3 hours while waiting for dinner (about halfway through) and turns the whole event into five or six hours. My dad and some of the others there contribute to the problem by running Q&A sessions while this is going on! Meanwhile, my stomach is rumbling even if I have taken the time to eat earlier!

I decided that I was ok if my dad wanted to do this if he and I would have our own Seder the following night in accordance with our own family traditions.

Then my aunt, my mom's sister, who is not religious but sometimes gives Seders, decided that she wanted to hold one on the second night that would double as my uncle's 80th birthday party. They live in southern California, as does my brother and his family, who will be attending the event. I can't travel to it because it is the week before the end of tax season. My father, however, immediately booked a flight to California on the morning of the day of this Seder/80th birthday party because he "had to go" (he's been doing and planning lots of trips that all fall during periods when I have to work so I can't go with him). This would have left me with no family Seder of my own to go to this year for the second night (last year, because my mom was sick, I had to go to a stranger's for the first Seder although I was able to go to my family's Seder on the second night). I pointed out that his decision left me stranded that night and he was defensive about "needing to go."

Luckily, I was able to find a group Seder to go to for the second night (I will know at least one, maybe two other people there), but his attitude towards me left a really bad taste in my mouth, and he added insult to injury by giving my contact information to another friend of his who wants me to do his tax return in my personal time and then called me to tell me about it. (I haven't heard from his friend and my dad has not yet reimbursed me.)

I finally had to point out to my dad that his need to travel and be with family when I couldn't go, right after I had just had a health scare, I had just done him a big favor in my very reduced personal time and when I had incurred a significant out of pocket cost to do it that so far was unreimbursed, really made me unhappy. He actually offered to cancel his plans, but he would have risked hurting other people's feelings and incurred major flight cancellation fees.

We compromised by his agreeing to reimburse me and for us to go on a trip together after tax season while we leave existing Seder plans intact. I do have one extra license fee for my tax software so I can do his friend's tax return if I hear from him (this is not the same person as the over-talky Seder host).

missJeanLouise · March 2023

Sorry they gave your H a shitty offer @mrsconn23 hopefully they can make it up with benefits if they can't match your counter.

@charlotte989875 I have been skimming past posts but your contractor ghosted you? Is that right? What do you do now?

Today was a much better day for me and DS. I hope tomorrow goes smoothly too. Tomorrow is going to be silly logistically. DS's camp is at my gym, so I am going to drop him off at 8:30, then drive home to meet our nanny at 9, then I am going to ride my bike back to the gym for my session at 9:30, then ride it back, shower and hopefully eat before picking up DS at 12:30. I am still a nervous rider so FX I don't fall or get lost taking the bike paths.

charlotte989875 · March 2023

Thanks everyone, I just took a two hour nap.

Basically he ghosted us @missJeanLouise. He kept telling us he’d be here and then wouldn’t show and wouldn’t text or tell us anything. We sent him a certified letter saying that work needed to restart by a particular date or we’d terminate the contract- that day came and he said he needed another. We amended it, he didn’t show. More back and forth and we finally said enough. We got a lawyer, we’re terminating the contract and we’ll pursue recovery for the cost that it takes to complete the work. We have a new contractor that can do the rest of the work, but they can’t start for a few weeks so we’re living with a half done first floor.

mrsconn23 · March 2023

Thanks everyone. What really horks me off about this is that DH wasn't even the one who pursued this. They brought this to him and dragged the process out for-ev-er, and then literally brought him an offer for 10% over what he makes now with the same bonus structure.

And the kicker is that his 5% raise kicks in next week. So in reality the offer is only 5% more by the time the position would take effect, plus he'd be traveling about 50% of the time and some international travel (whereas he travels about 10-20% of the time now and it's all domestic).

Casadena · March 2023

Ugh @mrsconn23 thats bull! Especially when it seems like he was expecting something much higher than that!

banana468 · March 2023

mrsconn23 said:

Thanks everyone. What really horks me off about this is that DH wasn't even the one who pursued this. They brought this to him and dragged the process out for-ev-er, and then literally brought him an offer for 10% over what he makes now with the same bonus structure.

And the kicker is that his 5% raise kicks in next week. So in reality the offer is only 5% more by the time the position would take effect, plus he'd be traveling about 50% of the time and some international travel (whereas he travels about 10-20% of the time now and it's all domestic).

This has my spidey senses up that they dragged the process out because he was pursued, middle management advocated for more and upper management put the kibosh on it.

And now they're up a creek because of their mismanagement.

short+sassy · March 2023

@charlotte989875, I'm glad you all at least found another contractor. I hope they're great!

@Jen4948, it's good to hear from you again. I'm so glad your second mammogram test came out in the clear. But I can imagine it must have been so stressful and worrisome in the meantime. I understand why you were upset with your dad. It sounds like things are at least smoothed over right now, but it's frustrating he let you down. At least tax season is coming to a close soon and you can take a breath!

Bad, but not surprising news, on the real estate front (sigh). I currently have one duplex that has been listed since November. We had two showings today and I finally got an offer. The first one, ugh. But the buyer's agent said it looks like the roof is too old and, if that's what comes back in the inspection, the buyer will want the roof replaced.

Yep. It is an old roof that's toward the end of its life. I'm sure that is what the inspection will say. Though it's currently working just fine and there aren't any leaks. Another important twist on this, is the already outrageous insurance rates here become even more outrageous for roofs that are older than 10 years.

My agent and I already had a similar discussion. We decided to keep it on the market. We talked about it again. She said this is what I'm going to face with any buyer.

I told my agent I'm going to crunch the numbers again tonight. But I don't think I'm going to replace the roof. I asked her if she thought I should de-list it, if I'm not replacing the roof. She agreed with me that would be best. Womp-womp.

In a nutshell, I make a decent enough net monthly rental income on this house that the money I would walk away with at the closing wouldn't be worth it (in comparison) if I have to get a new roof. A new roof would be $12K-$15K. Add another $10K if the decking needs to be replaced also. Which is a distinct possibility.

Poor, naive short+sassy. I thought I could leave New Orleans with a clean break, but that is not going to be in the cards. I'd already decided to keep one duplex because the comps on it were pathetic compared to the monthly rent I make. Now it looks like I'll be keeping two.

I've also come to the realization that I'm probably not going to be able to leave the city myself until Septemeber/October, which bums me out a bit. My house isn't ready to list and won't be for awhile. Which would put us into the middle of summer. And if I can possibly help it, I'm not moving in the middle of summer. Both NOLA and Central FL are abject misery. I need to ask my REA in FL if there is a time of year when prices are better. I wouldn't be opposed to closing on a house in the summer, if that is a more opportune time to buy one. I could always wait a bit of time to physically move when the weather is better.

CharmedPam · March 2023

short+sassy said:

@CharmedPam, your post was so funny to read because, in the first sentence, I thought you were talking about getting a lot done at work. It's times like theseI especially wish I was working from home because my job has been in a bigger lull than usual. I would love to be able to use this idle time to organize my own house but, instead, I have to be chained to a desk at the office.

LOL no. Why? Do you think they expect that of me?

Hi @Jen4948! Phew. Glad your second results were better and nothing is wrong. And I 100% get why you wouldn’t do anyone’s taxes. It’s like knowing a doctor and asking for free surgery. I mean, I’d do my parents taxes if I was trained in that, but not everyone I know! Good for you for standing your ground

@mrsconn23, then yes, 5% more and being away from the family that often doesn’t seem worth it! Fight MrConn, Fight!

short+sassy · March 2023

mrsconn23 said:

Thanks everyone. What really horks me off about this is that DH wasn't even the one who pursued this. They brought this to him and dragged the process out for-ev-er, and then literally brought him an offer for 10% over what he makes now with the same bonus structure.

And the kicker is that his 5% raise kicks in next week. So in reality the offer is only 5% more by the time the position would take effect, plus he'd be traveling about 50% of the time and some international travel (whereas he travels about 10-20% of the time now and it's all domestic).

Thanks for the details. It really puts it into perspective how super shitty the first offer was.

A 5% raise to go from 10-20% travel to 50% travel. No way! Substantial travel like that throws a person's work/life balance way off. It needs to be a lot more money to be worth it. Or at least it would for me.

MissKittyDanger · March 2023

mrsconn23 said:

Thanks everyone. What really horks me off about this is that DH wasn't even the one who pursued this. They brought this to him and dragged the process out for-ev-er, and then literally brought him an offer for 10% over what he makes now with the same bonus structure.

And the kicker is that his 5% raise kicks in next week. So in reality the offer is only 5% more by the time the position would take effect, plus he'd be traveling about 50% of the time and some international travel (whereas he travels about 10-20% of the time now and it's all domestic).

Urg that's awful!

Is he accepting or going to try to negotiate? I would try to negotiate since they dragged it out

ei34 · March 2023

Nice to hear from you @Jen4948 I'm glad you received a clean bill of health but major thumbs down on all the tax / family nonsense
@mrsconn23 totally bogus, I'm sorry. Happy belated defconn...is he...12?
@charlotte989875 continued vibes your way

mrsconn23 · March 2023

@ei34, yes, 12. It's gone by so fast.

climbingsingle · March 2023

@mrsconn23 that's some real BS they pulled w/ your husband. To pursue him for this, only to have it be a 5% increase when all is said and done, and the same bonus structure? It's infuriating.

banana468 · March 2023

climbingsingle said:

@mrsconn23 that's some real BS they pulled w/ your husband. To pursue him for this, only to have it be a 5% increase when all is said and done, and the same bonus structure? It's infuriating.

Also, w/ inflation, a 5% raise isn't covering cost of living increases!

MissKittyDanger · March 2023

mrsconn23 said:

@ei34, yes, 12. It's gone by so fast.

STOP! HE IS NOT

Jen4948 · March 2023

@mrsconn23 Wow. That is truly ridiculous that they pile on the expectations and a travel hike for your husband for only a 5% raise. I'm enraged on his behalf.

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