Dear Prudence,
My wife suffers from a serious autoimmune disease and has essentially not left our house for three years. I quit my job after they tried to make me come back in instead of working remotely. Family events have been carefully socially distant and with masks on. Now that everyone in the family has been vaccinated, we thought life could go back to normal.
That is, until my brother started dating “Katie.” Katie is a single mother of three and hasn’t bothered to teach her kids basic hygiene. They openly cough without covering their mouths, use their hands to wipe their noses and touch everything, and don’t even wash their hands after going to the bathroom. They are walking little germ factories. The three times we have visited while Katie’s kids were there, my wife got sick as a dog and missed days and days of work. Despite explaining about my wife’s condition, Katie continues to do nothing except get defensive.
Last time, the kids did wear masks—if it can be called wearing a mask when it is attached to your chin and not covering the mouth and nose. I told her son to wash his hands after playing fetch with the dog before he tried to get some salsa and chips. I wasn’t rude, I just said “hey, little man, go wash your hands. We don’t want to get dog slobber on the food.” Katie sent me death glares the rest of night and a message through my brother about how inconsiderate and rude I was. It isn’t my place to “parent” her kids. I did lose my temper and regrettably said to my brother that obviously someone has to because Katie sure wasn’t. He knows my wife’s condition and how awful the pandemic has been. Idiots are ready to murder her because they think a mask mandate is basically the Taliban. My brother told me that my wife and I will have to get over it, because he loves Katie and they are here to stay. And moreover, we should just not come to Easter with our parents. My parents told me they aren’t getting in the middle. What can my wife and I possibly do?
— New Normal