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If you have to get 'something', throw a gift card in with the card.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I realize this is low-stakes, but it still irks me. I hate getting a child’s birthday invitation that says to not bring a gift (or to make a donation in lieu of gifts). I know we all have so much clutter and junk and that most birthday gifts just add to this, but it just feels mean! These kids only have a few years of this fun and then it’s done. I will always honor the parents’ wishes and won’t show up with anything, but it just feels so strange to stipulate this. I guess my question is, am I a total weirdo? And while I think I already know the answer, is it entirely inappropriate to donate AND give a little something to the birthday kid?

— Just Want to Give Gifts

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Re: If you have to get 'something', throw a gift card in with the card.

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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    "Oh here's some spending $ for the big kid!"  Bonus points if it's towards a place like a book store where having the reading material is generally less bulky and likely to foster better learning than the latest toy on wheels. 
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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Get chalk, or bubbles- something that’s cheap, gets used up and is gone, and isn’t really adding to clutter. 
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    I've started asking where a kid loves to eat (because 99% of the time it's fast food) and then get them a GC for that restaurant.  It's a win-win-win.  
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    CasadenaCasadena member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    If an invite says no presents, don't' get a present. If LW wants to be annoying about it and do it anyway, then i agree a small GC is the way to go. 
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    STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I bring a card and tuck a sheet of stickers in it for the birthday child. 
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    ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    If you need to bring something, I agree with a gc to a bookstore or local kid attraction/store.
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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I agree with the idea for gift cards, especially for consumable things like food or events/attractions.

    Plus it can be tucked into a card, where it isn't obvious to the other party-goers that some guests brought gifts.  I was reading a different advice column letter where the parent felt like an AH because they took their child to a friend's birthday party.  The invitation said "no gifts", but the LW ended up being the only parent who had not brought a gift.

    This was a teasing disagreement my parents had when I was growing up, regarding gifts for my cousins.  My mom was in touch with the aunts and uncles for things their kids needed.  Clothes were often talked about.  My dad would give my mom a joking, exaggerated side-eye and say, "I will NOT be known as the uncle that gives clothes instead of toys!"

    Every year it was the same compromise.  One clothes and one toy gift to my cousins, lol.
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    flantasticflantastic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    If the kids get to play with their friends at the party, then they are having the fun they need to have. Plz get over yourself

    I will get the kids a GC to the local frozen custard place. Everyone wins.
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