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Give them a deadline

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

My marriage limped along until I realized I was happier alone than ever with my ex-husband. The house was mine before the marriage and after the divorce, I contacted my former stepdaughters to ask when they were going to come down and collect all their things. Both are in their early twenties. They have a crap ton of furniture, collectibles, and boxes from their high school days stored in my house. Their mother moved out of town right in the middle of their high school years and they moved in with us until they graduated. Both made and broke several attempts to get their things. It has been six months, and their answer is they will “get around” to it. I told my ex, I want to move on and I can’t when I have two bedrooms and a basement full of their things and that he needed to pay for the movers and storage. He refused and I am stuck at what to do. I am not paying hundreds of dollars and moving all this stuff myself. I also don’t want to drag out the conflict with my former stepdaughters. I figured I would give them until the end of June to make the trip and if they hadn’t by then, donate or sell what was left behind.
Any thoughts?

—Stuck With Stuff

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Re: Give them a deadline

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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    The LW should look into what the laws are for abandoned property and follow them.  It probably includes giving the item owners an official notice with a timeframe as to when the property needs to be removed.  There is also probably a minimum timeframe, usually 30 days, that needs to be allowed for after notice is given.

    Send each stepdaughter a certified letter.

    If the LW wanted to be on the nicer side, they could pack all the stuff up and move it to a storage center.  Pay for the first month, but no more than that.  Tell the stepdaughters where their shit is and that they will be responsible for either paying the bill after that or clearing the storage unit out and closing it*.

    *When tenants are evicted and don't move their stuff out by the court deadline, this is exactly what some states require is done with the belongings.  
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    banana468banana468 member
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    "You have until X date to pick up your items. After that time I will be donating them to Goodwill or disposing of what is of no commercial value." 


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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    "I'm putting this shit into my driveway to be picked up by charity on X date. I suggest you pick it up there if you want it." 
    �
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    IDK why LW can't dump the SD's shit at the ex-H's new residence. IDK why LW didn't send it with him when he moved out. 

    I'd definitely look up state property laws and follow them.  I'd give them a deadline that follows the law. 

    The only things I'd hesitate to get rid of are pics or things you know are heirlooms or passed down.  The rest can go/be donated.  
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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    mrsconn23 said:
    IDK why LW can't dump the SD's shit at the ex-H's new residence. IDK why LW didn't send it with him when he moved out. 

    I'd definitely look up state property laws and follow them.  I'd give them a deadline that follows the law. 

    The only things I'd hesitate to get rid of are pics or things you know are heirlooms or passed down.  The rest can go/be donated.  
    That's a good point also.

    Before they became reality tv shows, I would occasionally buy storage units at auction to make some extra cash.

    Most places would encourage that, if you find photos or important documents, to turn them over to the office and they would contact the previous owner to pick them up if they wanted to.  I always did that.

    Pro-tip.  I also only bought units at locations that would allow you to use their dumpsters.  Because it's a lot of work to clear out a storage unit and most of what you find is not worth selling.
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