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Wedding Woes

Say "My house isn't fit for kids, sorry (not sorry)!" on repeat.

Dear Prudence,

I adore my house. It is in a beautiful wooden area and built into a very steep hillside. I can get up in the morning and watch the deer coming downstream. Here’s the problem: It isn’t child friendly, and I can’t trust my sister to keep an eye on her kids. There have been multiple incidents where she lets them run around, get into trouble, or destroy other people’s possessions. She is always playing on her phone and claims she only looked away for a second. Last time we were together, her 5-year-old son fell off the dock at our cousin’s lake house and could have almost drowned. My sister was inside playing on her phone, again.

Well, my sister keeps pushing to visit me overnight with her kids, since my area has a lot of family-friendly tourist attractions. My sister gets very defensive about her parenting style and has something of a chip on her shoulder. She and our cousin still aren’t speaking to each other after that last visit. What do I tell her? I already expressed my concerns about the house not being child-proof and only having a small front yard facing the road and she dismissed me again. I need help here.

—Not Child Friendly

Re: Say "My house isn't fit for kids, sorry (not sorry)!" on repeat.

  • Just keep telling her your house is not child friendly and you’re not willing to risk someone getting hurt. Tell her you don’t feel comfortable with the risks of unattended children. Say it and say it again. 
  • "The kids need to get older before they'll be ready."


  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited May 2023
    I'd avoid talking about her parenting skills or lack thereof.  The LW already knows it just makes her defensive and she doesn't "hear" the advice because she doesn't think it's a problem.

    I would phrase it in more of an "in the future" way.  That the LW would love to host them when the children are older but, right now, the home and setting are too dangerous for young children.

    I'm sure the sister will still pitch a fit but that's just too bad.  Maybe it's fair, maybe it's not.  But the LW doesn't think the children being there are safe and they are also concerned about their belongings.

    I am curious about the dock incident.  Was someone else out there with the child?  If so, one could argue it was the other person who was not properly supervising.   
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • You don't have to tell her you think she sucks as a parent to tell her she can't bring her kids to your house.  She has no rights to your house and/or to make you a de facto babysitter because she chooses to pay more attention to her phone than children.  

    She's clearly willfully ignorant, entitled, or completely clueless.  But not your problem and she can't make it so. 
  • Stop trying to explain it to her, because she's not listening. "It's not a good time" and keep bean dipping.
  • Honestly, sounds like she's not listening.
    If LW doesn't want the kids to stay, I think she should straight up say "I don't want the kids to be here for an overnight."
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