Dear Prudence,
One of my very good friends, “Jenny,” has been ranting that our mutual friend, “Leah,” has been targeting her with disrespect (think the occasional neg about life choices or dismissive comments about her opinions) and has decided to cut this friend out of her life after one minor interaction at a barbeque that apparently was the straw that broke the camel’s back. That’s fine—cutting Leah off is completely her call, but I am getting sick of the fall-out, which has been going on for months. I don’t think Leah is nearly as heinous as Jenny is making out, and I wonder if Jenny may be focusing on Leah to avoid dealing with other trauma and issues in her life, including an emotionally abusive grandparent and a failed marriage.
Now, Jenny wants me and our other mutual friends to completely stop talking to Leah. Ideally, Jenny would like me to confront Leah about her rudeness and is hurt no one is giving unqualified support. I’ve tried redirecting the focus onto more positive conversation topics, but Jenny can’t seem to make peace with the situation until everyone agrees that she is completely in the right and that Leah is the worst. How can I be a good friend to Jenny while not compromising my own perspective and values?
—No More Friend Drama