Accept the tips and donate if you dont' want them

Re: Accept the tips and donate if you dont' want them

• CharmedPam member

  

  August 2023

  I don’t know any musician who wouldn’t want a tip?

  
  

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• VarunaTT member

  

  August 2023

  I think I'd be kind of offended if a musician didn't want my tip.  
  
  He just needs to pick a charity he likes and state at the beginning, "Tips are not necessary b/c this is my passion project, but if you feel so inclined, they will be donated to X organization b/c I'm passionate about their mission."
  
  Seriously, some of these Prudie letters are getting odd.  I know I'm older and maybe the OPs are really young, but damn, this seems like common sense.

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• short+sassy member

  

  August 2023 edited August 2023

  VarunaTT said:

  I think I'd be kind of offended if a musician didn't want my tip.  
  
  He just needs to pick a charity he likes and state at the beginning, "Tips are not necessary b/c this is my passion project, but if you feel so inclined, they will be donated to X organization b/c I'm passionate about their mission."
  
  Seriously, some of these Prudie letters are getting odd.  I know I'm older and maybe the OPs are really young, but damn, this seems like common sense.

  This feels like my life most of the time I'm reading an advice column or people's questions/situations on forums like Reddit.
  
  But back to the letter.  He needs to adjust his thinking.  A tip is a person's way of showing appreciation for the music.  Sure, some of the motivation might be because they think he is a starving artist.  But it makes THEM feel good to leave a tip and he shouldn't take that away from them, even if it is coming from the right place.
  
  I agree with the LW they should donate the money.  And if it's possible to make an announcement like that or tell people individually, hopefully that can give him a clear conscience that people are donating to show their appreciation AND help a good cause.  Without feeling like this musician needs the money.

  

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• STARMOON44 member

  

  August 2023

  Casadena said:

  Dear Prudence,

  My husband is an incredibly talented musician who sometimes plays local gigs at bars. He and I also are both very successful professionals each earning well into six figures and are grateful to be very comfortable financially. My question is about accepting tips when he plays. Sometimes when he’s onstage people will toss a few dollars at him. He smiles politely but it makes him a little uncomfortable. Last night someone asked for his Venmo information because they wanted to tip him. He told them he really didn’t want a tip (in a super nice way) and they seemed offended. Is it better to just graciously accept unsolicited tips or politely decline? My thought is just to accept it and let it add up and donate it, but my hubby feels really awkward about taking people’s money. We’re really not sure what is the best approach here.

  Omg this husband is such a diva. Accept the tips. Say thank you. Get over yourself. 

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