Dear Prudence,
I have been dating “Diane” for several months. She is 24 and has a four year old son “Stevie.” She lives with her parents and works full-time. I enjoy spending time with her and her son, but she has this nasty habit of forgoing arranging child care and just dragging her son along on our dates. These are always activities I have arranged weeks in advance and are not child friendly, like kayaking (we never got in the water) or parties with my friends (my friend had a board game party and Stevie ended up using his markers on the wall).
Diane always claims her sitter backed out at the last minute and she had no choice. I find it hard to believe that it happens so often. I send her reminders and Diane texts me that her mom will be watching Stevie, only to turn up with him. The last time we were attending a local music event that was standing room only and the tickets weren’t cheap. Diane swore up and down that everything was all right. She showed up with a very cranky and tired Stevie. The kid should have been in bed an hour ago.
We ended up having a huge fight. She accused me of calling her a bad mom when I questioned why the hell was Stevie here. I told her she should have just canceled on me. I could have sold the tickets or found someone else to go with. She called me selfish. I told her it shouldn’t be so hard to find a babysitter. My parents had weekly date nights and so did my sister and her husband, and they have three kids! Diane ended up taking Stevie home after he started crying. I ended up selling the tickets to a stranger and going home myself. Diane later apologized, but I honestly don’t know if our relationship should continue. On every other level, Diane and I click, but this habit is frustrating.