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Wedding Woes

Oh LW, this is hard.

Dear Prudence,

I’m severely mentally ill and have been since childhood. I’ve spent much of my life in psych hospitals or rehabs for my comorbid polysubstance abuse issues. I’m in my forties now (female/hetero) and, while I never really had trouble finding romantic partners/relationships before, my vast amounts of accumulated baggage and my lack of a “normal” history (career, children, sobriety, sanity, etc.) have finally hit critical mass, and single guys (the ones left) avoid me like the plague. If fairness played a role in determining reality, I’d really be pissed. But I have no real right to be; I’d probably opt not to get into a relationship with a severely bipolar junkie with less than a year sober—I suspect most people would. Or maybe my personality devolved into a weak puddle of boredom when I hit 40. Either way, I think it’s hopeless.

—Crazy and Alone Until Death

Re: Oh LW, this is hard.

  • LW is trying to live a sober life. Could they focus on meeting people at support groups for that? 

  • Oh LW.  I hope she finds the right treatment because I wouldn't advise someone to engage in a relationship with someone who was not good to themself either.
  • I hope therapy helps them with their feelings of hopelessness.

    They need to give themselves time.  They're acting like 40s is over the hill.  They are still young and their life is just beginning, now that they are getting sober.  I'm not sure a romantic relationship would be a good move for them right now anyway, as they need to keep their primary focus on getting healthier.  Both with their drug addiction and mental health.

    They should get better for themselves.  But as that happens and more time goes by since they were an addict, the more attractive they will be for other people.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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