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Wedding Woes

Is she still locked in your bathroom?

Dear Prudence,

I have never married or had kids. Never felt the need. My relationships have been long-lasting but peter off naturally as life has taken us in different directions. While in my late-50s, I fell in love with “Diane” and I proposed. My sisters think it is the greatest “joke” in the world that their bachelor brother finally wants to tie the knot. All of them have been divorced once or twice and most bitterly so. I have never joked about their love lives until now.

My oldest sister “joked” to Diane about me being a serial monogamist and how I always have someone waiting in the wings so beware. So I “joked” back about how it’s better to be a serial monogamist than a serial cheater. You could hear a pin drop. My sister ended two marriages because of her infidelity and two of her kids still refuse to speak to her because of it. My sister went up and locked herself in the bathroom. So I am the bad guy now. Diane wants to keep the peace but I am tired of that. I love Diane and want to spend the rest of my life with her. My sisters can’t be happy for me? So what do I do now?

—Stones and Glass Houses

Re: Is she still locked in your bathroom?

  • Nah, you said nothing wrong. It could have been a blanket statement.  Or it could have been shade but you stood up for yourself and congrats on that. 

  • You've got your Amal.  Sounds like your sister can dish it out but can't take it. 
  • Keep your distance from your sisters. They are unkind, bitter people who will never be happy for you. Marry Diane and enjoy your life with her.
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  • Eh I think it was a bit harsh, but they’re also being jerks so everyone here is a little bit wrong. Marry Diane and enjoy your life while ignoring what yours sisters say. 
  • Siblings are just terrible this week.  Sure, what you said was cutting and kind of mean, but you can only take so much criticism especially from people who should be happy for you.  If she's out of your bathroom, you can apologize for your delivery, but also say that the constant jokes about the late in life love you've found aren't funny and you will no longer tolerate them.  And then follow through on it.  
  • It was a little mean.  But probably got the point across better than asking his sisters to stop bugging him about being single his whole life.

    Plus, that was a cutting thing to say about her brother.  It implies he has always has the next woman waiting before he breaks up with the current one.  That might give some women pause or insecurity, even if it was said as a joke.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • That was a highly inappropriate "joke" to make to Diane and it was bullshit.  I'm not saying sister deserved another bullshit joke back; also in my experience people willing to be that level of cruel don't understand anything but a matching level of cruelty back.  Sister should apologize to Diane for saying something terrible about her husband to be, to her brother for saying the terrible thing and then I'd be willing to apologize for my statement, but otherwise, I'd be going on with my life, happy and free.
  • I don't even think it was a BS joke.  I think the LW saw that the sister was half-joking and didn't think the brother would retaliate.  Was the brother out of line to say what he did? Yeah.  But the sister wasn't just horrible but was horrible to her brother's PARTNER.

    It's extra worse IMO because the sister doesn't get that she was seriously insulting to her FSIL  and it's now no longer friendly sibling ribbing.
  • I didn't mean bullshit like...not true.  The behavior was bullshit, like...are you even kidding me right now?

    Tone is missing in text today.  :smiley:
  • VarunaTT said:
    I didn't mean bullshit like...not true.  The behavior was bullshit, like...are you even kidding me right now?

    Tone is missing in text today.  :smiley:

  • EXACTLY!!  :smiley:
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