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Wedding Woes

Prudie Halloween

I took a late lunch and discovered that the Prudie letters today are a collection of "The Most Haunted Letters of All Time".  Fun!  Here is one of them:

My boyfriend, “Peter,” wants to break up with me. Obviously that’s his right, I know that, but it feels like I’m actually being irresponsible by just leaving. Peter has always had an interest in the paranormal and things like that. So do I, although I prefer M.R. James to actual, real-life creepy places. Over the past six months, however, Peter has moved further left of the socially accepted idea of normal. He’s become convinced that I’m the reincarnation of an evil witch. And sure, maybe he just thinks I’m an evil witch and wants an excuse to dump me. I’d actually be relieved if that were true, to be honest. Peter really seems to believe that I’m an evil soul, though, and is quite sad over this.

I just don’t know how to navigate this breakup ethically and respectfully. He’s not violent or a risk to himself, and there are plenty of worse conspiracy theories out there. On the other hand, he also wants to end a three-year relationship because he’s realized he’s dating an evil spirit. That doesn’t seem like the decision of a healthy psyche, and this has all just happened in a relatively short space of time. He doesn’t talk to his family—he’s always said they were weirdly religious, which seems relevant now—and he’s distanced himself from his old friends so he could find ones with the same interests. Right now it feels like I’m the only person in his life with a healthy dose of skepticism, and that it would be irresponsible to just … leave for saner pastures. But he’s a grown man and he doesn’t want me around anymore (since I am apparently unconsciously feeding on his purity), so is there anything I can do? He’s obviously not inclined to take my evil-inspired advice right now.

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Re: Prudie Halloween

  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited October 2023
    It is time for saner pastures.  Even if his behavior and thoughts are illogical and deeply concerning, he doesn't want her around anymore and is probably afraid of her to at least some extent.  There is nothing she could personally say or do to change that.  I'd almost wonder if reverse psychology would work, where she strongly encourages him NOT to see a therapist.  But practically speaking, probably not a good idea.

    I know the LW said his family and friends aren't concerned about his mental health, but she should tell a few of them what is going on.  Hopefully they would at least be get involved faster when they see his mind is not working right.

    Probably far-fetched, but there could even be something medically wrong with him like a brain tumor.
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  • Get out now, block him, change the locks, move etc. 
  • You In Danger Girl GIFs  Tenor

    In all seriousness, I would've already run. This is beyond creepy and IDK how she's not scared of him at this point.  I would tell his family, or in the alternative a close friend, but I would've left already and burned the bridges behind me.
  • You wonder how women stay in some relationships that are terrible and then you see....THIS ONE.

    Molly get out! 
  • In my previous career, I had a client who was divorcing her husband because of something similar. They'd had a normal happy marriage, and then he had a horrible accident with a traumatic brain injury that showed itself with mood and behavioral changes. He decided she was evil and trying to kill him. The wife knew that the injury was causing him to behave that way and felt like she was abandoning her sick husband and had terrible amount of guilt. But she also had to come around that there was no treatment or cure and she couldn't continue to live in what was becoming an abusive situation. 

    LW here kind of reminds me of a milder version of that. Like they think the BF is mentally ill (whether caused by tumor, injury, or just chemical) and feels like he can be cured or treated. But it doesn't work that way. LW needs to go. A few sessions with a therapist might help to reframe and shake the guilt. 
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