Wednesday

VarunaTT · November 2023

Work is annoying me. Communication is becoming increasingly difficult. I'm trying to train myself to just let it go, but I'm struggling a bit. I'm working from home today though, and that is a relief. The new office is great, but it is very loud where I'm sitting and that wears me out. I have noise canceling headphones, but you still have to play something through them and being constantly bombarded with noise is just a wearying experience for me.

I don't think Harley likes me WFH. She wants to play and I'm sitting on the computer. She's terribly confused and upset right now.

No really big news. I took myself to see Nightmare Before Christmas last night and had to bail out before the end because I was tired. I really want to see some new flicks this weekend, but I'm learning that I am now the matinee person. Otherwise, SSDD.

CharmedPam · November 2023

I love matinee’s. Not only for the cheaper cost (but also the cost) but it’s less crowded and then usually I go between lunch and dinner and I don’t need to eat at the theater.

It’s just me and the admin in the office. I have to go get my emissions test done this month, so today is as good a day as any! There’s one closer to work than there is at home. I’ll go on my lunch - but also come back and eat at the lunch table on my real lunch lol.

I’m in a group text with the one “friend” who uses me and ONLY texts/calls when she needs something from me. Right now there’s 4 of us in it, trying to make plans for a get together. I wonder if “that friend” notices it takes me 3 days to get back to her because “I’m so busy” but yet respond in the group text in like .003 seconds. I respond faster if there’s not an ulterior motive.

Casadena · November 2023

I WFH yesterday because I have no work to do atm and at least could get a few things done around the house.

At the office today trying to get a jump on things that are due in a few weeks because i'm going to be out all of Tgiving week. I'm taking a couple days just because and then the boys are off W-F and we're going to Iowa for the long weekend. We're touring our new office this afternoon and my group is moving the Monday after Thanksgiving. The new office is going to be mostly "hoteling" and no one is excited about it at all. They gave some people permanent spaces based on in-office badge swipes last year, so i apparently come in enough that i get a permanent desk - but no one else in my entire finance department does. So while i'm happy about it, it also feels very weird.

H is in a MOOD the last couple days and I'm out of ideas for how to deal with it. He's just being a dick to everyone for seemingly no reason (i'm sure there's a reason, he is just not communicating it). I'm tired.

ei34 · November 2023

I love matinees too- more affordable, better for my kids’ schedule and supports the “Eileen on her own couch by 8pm” goal.
I’m sorry that H’s behavior has been such a drain (and so ongoing!) @Casadena
Feeling good about how my local elections went yesterday and optimistic about a few votes in other states too.

Casadena · November 2023

ooh thanks for the reminder @CharmedPam - i also need to get my emissions test and there is one much closer to work than home for me too. It's also very close to Chipotle and I didn't bring lunch today....so win-win for me!

short+sassy · November 2023

@VarunaTT, I have a pair of noise blocking headphones both at work and at home. They are about $12/pair on Amazon. The kind of headphones you'd wear at a construction site or airport tarmac. You can still hear a phone ring or person talking if they are right next to you. But everything else is at worst, a dull roar. I absolutely love them. They work great and have saved my sanity on many occasions.

I woke up yesterday feeling weird and off. I was lightheaded and exhausted. So I called in sick and went back to bed. I didn't wake up again until 11am! That was sleeping for 12 hours. I don't know what was going on with that, but I woke up feeling a lot better and refreshed.

We went to Costco in the afternoon because we were running extremely low on some essentials.

WFH today, so I'm fairly relaxed all around! I did finally get my home work station set up and running. It's so much better and easier having a desk and two screens, instead of only my tiny laptop screen. Not crazy about the chair I got. But I'm trying to hang with it until I move.

charlotte989875 · November 2023

I’m WFH again. Still not feeling great and I can’t totally kick this cold. Thankfully people canceled my afternoon meetings so I can take it easier.

VarunaTT · November 2023

short+sassy said:

@VarunaTT, I have a pair of noise blocking headphones both at work and at home. They are about $12/pair on Amazon. The kind of headphones you'd wear at a construction site or airport tarmac. You can still hear a phone ring or person talking if they are right next to you. But everything else is at worst, a dull roar. I absolutely love them. They work great and have saved my sanity on many occasions.

The issue is a combination: thin walls and in between 3 very loud talkers. Muffling them is very difficult b/c they're already the dull roar.

I'll get the balance figured out eventually; it's just a big change from my relatively quiet previous corner.

banana468 · November 2023

I am feeling SWAMPED. Work's hitting hard right now and it's always that time of year as we approach Thanksgiving that it's tricky.

Chiquita's birthday is around the corner and I feel very much compelled that we celebrate it well. I let it out of the void and asked DH last night if he was also scared that we might lose her over the summer and he just gave me a one word yeah. He doesn't talk about feelings and it's not conversation that we've had but I know the year has been a major impact on us.

Last night was her last soccer practice and I sent a message to the coach. He's truly one of the best and more inspiring guys for kids I've seen and I thanked him profusely that her getting back to being on his team was what she needed. He doesn't coach to get the kids to be focused on winning but sportsmanship and teamwork. She's slowly but surely getting back into shape and he was truly understanding. It's what you need when so many other coaches lack that mindset.

I'm also looking for a therapist for her. She doesn't want to go back to who she saw which is her right. The hard part is that we need to find someone who is younger and taking our insurance and working with our schedule. That triangulation is tricky.

VarunaTT · November 2023

banana468 said:

I'm also looking for a therapist for her. She doesn't want to go back to who she saw which is her right. The hard part is that we need to find someone who is younger and taking our insurance and working with our schedule. That triangulation is tricky.

Do you think she'd respond to Zoom appointments? I've had at least 5 friends with nothing but praise for BetterHelp. One of my friends, who has very specialized needs, liked his so much that when he did finally get health insurance coverage, he tracked her down IRL and started going to her individually. I don't know who it works with HI, but I think you can still use it.

banana468 · November 2023

@VarunaTT I think she may be OK with that. She did a few zoom appointments previously. The biggest issue was she felt like the therapist was too old to connect with her. The down side is that when you're about to be 13 everyone qualified is older!

mrsconn23 · November 2023

Oh @banana468, I feel like a big 13th bday to-do would be a wonderful thing for all of you. Also, I love the coach so much. I'm so glad she had that support at such a critical time. Good luck finding a therapist she can click with.

SSDD. We're slow right now at work, so that's been nice.

short+sassy · November 2023

banana468 said:

@VarunaTT I think she may be OK with that. She did a few zoom appointments previously. The biggest issue was she felt like the therapist was too old to connect with her. The down side is that when you're about to be 13 everyone qualified is older!

The "adults don't know anything" phase, lol. Seriously though, I hope you all can find a good therapist for her that she likes and can connect to.

I get it, though. I prefer my doctors to be within 10ish years of my own age. I feel I will relate better to a person who is my peer, age-wise. Hasn't always worked! But at least it is something to start with. When I'm looking for a new doctor, I will even stalk when they graduated from medical school to make a good guesstimate on their age, lol.

banana468 · November 2023

short+sassy said:

banana468 said:

@VarunaTT I think she may be OK with that. She did a few zoom appointments previously. The biggest issue was she felt like the therapist was too old to connect with her. The down side is that when you're about to be 13 everyone qualified is older!

The "adults don't know anything" phase, lol. Seriously though, I hope you all can find a good therapist for her that she likes and can connect to.

I get it, though. I prefer my doctors to be within 10ish years of my own age. I feel I will relate better to a person who is my peer, age-wise. Hasn't always worked! But at least it is something to start with. When I'm looking for a new doctor, I will even stalk when they graduated from medical school to make a good guesstimate on their age, lol.

Yeah - I think it's unfortunate that even if I said, "This person treats a bunch of people your age," there's a perception that they can't relate. She has no issue that the doctor treating her colon issues is older than me but I do think it was GREAT that the fellow on staff is in his late 20s and it absolutely helped that week.

levioosa · November 2023

I do have to be the dissenting voice on Better Help. There is a lot of controversy surrounding the therapists on it. Some are of course very qualified and great, but my experience personally was not good. My therapist repeatedly canceled and was late to our appointments but the death knell to our relationship was when she told me I should look into a Costa Rican shaman for my brother’s addiction issues.

VarunaTT · November 2023

levioosa said:

I do have to be the dissenting voice on Better Help. There is a lot of controversy surrounding the therapists on it. Some are of course very qualified and great, but my experience personally was not good. My therapist repeatedly canceled and was late to our appointments but the death knell to our relationship was when she told me I should look into a Costa Rican shaman for my brother’s addiction issues.

WTF?

I'm so sorry that happened and utterly apalled for you.

charlotte989875 · November 2023

levioosa said:

I do have to be the dissenting voice on Better Help. There is a lot of controversy surrounding the therapists on it. Some are of course very qualified and great, but my experience personally was not good. My therapist repeatedly canceled and was late to our appointments but the death knell to our relationship was when she told me I should look into a Costa Rican shaman for my brother’s addiction issues.

They also have a chatbot they use with clients (along with of course real therapists) that is pretty questionable.

banana468 · November 2023

For our situation I contacted a local therapist recommended by the hospital treating her UC. That therapist sent me recommendations including a person locally who does a lot of telehealth.

I'm a much bigger fan of knowing the therapist is recommended so an in person can be an option but like it when a teleheath is also on the table.

VarunaTT · November 2023

It would seem my friends are outliers/lucky then. That sucks. It's been helpful for a those of my queer friends. We don't have a lot of queer friendly/helping therapists here and they had good luck getting matched with therapists on that.

charlotte989875 · November 2023

VarunaTT said:

It would seem my friends are outliers/lucky then. That sucks. It's been helpful for a those of my queer friends. We don't have a lot of queer friendly/helping therapists here and they had good luck getting matched with therapists on that.

I definitely don’t think it’s all bad and can be super helpful especially when in person options aren’t available or good enough. I think the companies need to be more transparent about how they use data, AI, and how the screen for providers!

ei34 · November 2023

She’s had a year and definitely deserves to be celebrated @banana468. I also struggle with a perfect fit counselor who takes my insurance and is young/a good fit for oldest DD.

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