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Wedding Woes

Gwen can kick rocks all the way to HR.

Dear Prudence,

I am happily single and a cat mom. My work has mandatory weekend overtime because the company is so overwhelmed, and it goes seven days a week. I am an early riser and live close by—so it is no skin off my nose to go in at 6 and be out by noon. Our supervisor is hands-off on the schedule unless you try and wiggle out of it. I often come to cover my more overburdened colleagues for their weekend shift … if they are willing to pony up for it. I spent all my twenties being expected to work every holiday or school vacation because my time was never as valuable as a parent’s, despite having aging parents of my own (they live overseas and I haven’t seen them in two years because of the pandemic). Or a life. Or interests. So I basically bargained with several of my coworkers to cover all their weekend shifts if they gave me their guaranteed holidays this year.

Except “Gwen.” Gwen thinks because she has kids, she is the center of the world. She constantly complains that I will not cover her, but calls me a bitch for asking her to cover New Year’s this year. Because that is such a child-friendly holiday. The arrangements I have made have been on the down-low, but Gwen is threatening to go to HR. She will not win, but she could bring everything down with her since HR is notoriously averse to conflict. What do I do here?

—Holiday Bet

Re: Gwen can kick rocks all the way to HR.

  • Have fun, Gwen.  I mean, really, her complaint is that "there are co-workers trading shifts and they won't trade with me"?
  • Why is Gwen singling out the LW who is clearly busy helping out other co-workers?  LW can't help everyone.

  • Unless trading shifts is explicitly prohibited she can go to HR all she wants- nothing is going to happen. Except all the rest of the coworkers are going to hate her too if she screws up the deal you’ve all got going. 

    But really- this is a huge mismanagement program and even if your manager is hands off, she’s trying to bully you and they need to know. Protect yourself by telling the manager what’s up. 
  • This needs to be a conversation with the manager yesterday. "Gwen is harassing me and becoming aggressive because I will not cover her shift." 

    I wouldn't say HR, but if Gwen will go to them, it would help for LW to make a preemptive claim about Gwen harassing her. But really, this whole job sounds like a shit show. 
  • I need to understand more about this schedule.  It sounds like it's a rotational deal and LW is picking up people's rotations in exchange for getting holidays off? 

    Anyway, Gwen IS trying to 'wiggle out' of this situation, is calling you derogatory names, and threatening you/your job over this?  It's definitely time to clue in the boss.  I'd start by writing down all the agreements you made to cover everyone else and then take it to your boss and tell them the whole ordeal.  Boss's actually want to know this information and keep it 'in house' as much as possible. NO ONE wants to fuck with HR when they don't have to.  

    FFS, stop letting Gwen think she has any damn power here.  Use your agency, LW. 
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